One of the most common themes I hear in my conversations with teachers, support staff, district leaders, and site leaders is that they feel unappreciated. Feeling unappreciated can show up in a variety of flavors, so it’s time to dig into what’s truly going on.

There is no amount of reassurance that other people can provide us with that will generate the feeling of appreciation. Feeling resentful for going the extra mile or like you’re being taken advantage of is an extremely disempowered way to lead your school. The good news is your leadership experience doesn’t have to stay this way because appreciation is always an internal job.

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I was working with a client recently who was feeling triggered, frustrated, and defensive because a member of her team has been showing up in a way she considers inappropriate. It’s a difficult situation when one of your teachers isn’t meeting the standards of your school culture, but I believe the solution lies in understanding emotional literacy.

If you’re having trouble dealing with a staff member who isn’t showing up the way you expect them to, today’s episode is for you. We often believe that the way our staff behaves is a reflection of us as a principal, and that doesn’t feel great. You might think it’s your place as a leader to fix other people, but there’s a better way to approach these uncomfortable scenarios.

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As a school leader, you are a public figure. As a public figure, people believe they have the right to scrutinize you for any misstep or mistake you make. This is something you may face at some point in your career if you haven’t already, and it can be an extremely scary experience.

We are wired for connection and belonging as humans, and being publicly scrutinized can make us feel like we’re being ostracized and isolated. I want to reassure you this week that it’s okay to be a human who makes mistakes and show you what you can do when nothing in your external world feels safe.

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As a school leader, you may find yourself in a constant cycle of giving endlessly. Do you believe you haven’t done enough for your school, even if you feel like you have nothing left to give? Whether it’s your staff, students, the district, school board, or state, are you telling yourself it’s always someone else’s turn to be seen and heard before you? 

Women leaders, and especially women leaders of color, tend to feel less seen, heard, and taken seriously as leaders. My guest on the show this week is certified life coach and Integrative Pediatrician Dr. Payal Patel Ghayal, who is an expert in helping Brown women advocate for themselves. Her mission is one that speaks to me deeply, and we’re here to have a conversation about taking back control over your mental, physical, and emotional needs.

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Our emotions are the hardest thing we have to navigate as school leaders and humans in general. What’s often difficult about anything we’re finding hard or challenging, whether in your career or personal life, is the way it feels. That’s why, on this episode, I’m sharing the art of processing your emotions.

Your emotions are your internal compass. It’s the only way your body can communicate with your brain, and you should listen to what it has to say. It makes sense if you find yourself chasing pleasure by trying to extinguish all negative emotion. However, I want to offer that there is a valid reason for any intense emotion being present, and I’m showing you how to get intimate with it.

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