Ep #460: Flip the Fall Dip: When the New School Year Loses Momentum

The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Flip the Fall Dip: When the New School Year Loses Momentum

The beginning of a new school year often brings excitement, fresh energy, and momentum. But as September and October roll around, that initial enthusiasm can start to fade, leaving school leaders feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering why everything suddenly feels harder.

In this special preview episode, I share clips from my Flip the Fall Dip 2026 series, exploring the highs and lows of school culture and the emotional energy that shapes our experience as leaders. I discuss why the shift from the excitement of a new school year to the daily grind can feel like something has gone wrong, how we absorb the emotions of the people around us, and why physical, mental, and emotional fatigue can leave us focused on everything that isn’t working.

Tune in this week to get a preview of Flip the Fall Dip and begin recognizing how these seasonal shifts might be affecting you, your staff, and your school culture. You’ll hear why losing momentum is a common human experience and how gaining perspective on what you’re experiencing can help you better understand the challenges of school leadership.

The Empowered Culture is for Empowered Principals who want to cultivate an empowered school culture. Join me for this leadership experience designed to help you intentionally build a healthy, vibrant school culture by focusing on how people think, feel, behave, and interact. The program launches October 27th. Learn more and join us by clicking here.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Why the excitement and momentum of the new school year often give way to a slower, more demanding phase.
  • How the shift from anticipation to the daily grind can affect your motivation and energy.
  • Why school leaders may absorb the emotional energy of teachers, staff, parents, and students.
  • How carrying other people’s emotions can contribute to exhaustion and overwhelm.
  • Why focusing exclusively on problems and what’s not working can leave leaders feeling discouraged.
  • How physical, mental, and emotional fatigue can affect your sense of purpose and perspective.
  • Why recognizing the fall dip as a common human experience can help you understand what you’re experiencing.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Episodes Related to Flipping the Fall Dip:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, Empowered Principals. Welcome to episode 460. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not-so-typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host, certified life coach Angela Kelly. 

Hey there, Empowered Principals. I’ve got something to share with you. I have a brand new program called The Empowered School. We’re launching on October 27th. We’re taking Empowered Principals who want to lead empowered school cultures. This will be a leadership experience for intentionally cultivating an empowered school culture. 

One of the things that I coach on the most is around the culture of the school. How people think, how they feel, how they behave, the words they say, the actions, their mood, their attitudes. I coach on the interactions between the humans on campus more than any other topic that we coach on. Yes we definitely teach all of the skillset. But the art of building and cultivating a healthy and vibrant culture is the skill of a highly effective Empowered Principal. I hope you will join us for The Empowered School. The registration link is in the show notes. We’ll see you October 27th. 

Hello, my Empowered Principals. Happy Tuesday. I hope you are having the most beautiful week. I’ve got a special podcast episode in store for you. This episode contains clips from the Flip the Fall Dip 2026 series that I just hosted a few weeks ago. 

Flip the Fall Dip is all about school leaders navigating the ebbs and flows of your culture, of the energy on campus, of people’s moods and attitudes. There’s ebbs and flows. There’s highs and lows to how people feel. There’s a big rush and a big high at the beginning of the year, and then come September and October, there’s a little bit of a crash. And how do we navigate these waves of emotional energy, the peaks and the valleys, so that you can remain in an empowered state while you’re leading?

These clips are going to give you little tidbits on flipping the fall dip. And if you would like to access the entire series, there will be a link in the show notes to my Skool (S-K-O-O-L) platform, where you can access different tiers of membership, and Flip the Fall Dip will be in there for you to enjoy. Enjoy this show. And if you need more information, please click the link, check out Skool, and decide which membership level you would like to experience. Have a beautiful day. Enjoy the show.

We kicked off the beginning of the school year. Most of you, you know, contracts started in July, but you had a soft launch where you were coming back in before the energy of your teachers, before the energy of the parents, and before the energy of the students. So in July, it’s nice and quiet. Now, you might have things going on. You might feel a little angst around getting staffing prepared, getting master calendars and schedules prepared, getting, you know, maintenance things completed on your campus, any projects you’re working on in your physical space, any remodels, any upgrades, the cleaning, all of those things. 

Those are usually going on in July. Some of you are hosting summer school in July, but there is a softness to the launch of your new contract. And then in August, it’s when things really fire up. It’s the kickoff. There’s a lot of energy, a lot of momentum, and you know how that feels. It’s exciting. It’s like exhausting and exciting at the same time. It’s a good energy. People are ready to come back off of the summer, and we are kind of like riding the wave of that momentum. Okay? It is a lot of work.

So, then we’re in, what are we? Middle of September. So it’s been around a month for some of you where you got your staff set up. You got all the things in place. There was a lot of work, a lot of PD. You were in a lot of meetings. I know those days. I remember those days, which is why we kind of quiet down in August because I know you’re so busy out there. And now we’re reconvening in September. 

So, let’s talk about the fall dip. We’re going to cover what it looks like, what it feels like, what it actually is, and we’ll wrap up with some things to contemplate for this week going into your week, just to be able to kind of observe and identify and acknowledge what aspects of the fall dip you might be personally in, your staff might be in, or your school kind of at large, the culture, climate of your campus these days, okay?

And then we kind of get into like, okay, we’ve got the routines down. Now we’re getting into what I call like the daily work, the grind, the real reason we’re here, the deeper purpose, okay? So we’re shifting from all that excitement and anticipation into kind of the daily grind. And it feels different. It isn’t the hype and the excitement and all of this like high-caliber energy that we once had. And when there’s that shift, when we dip a little bit in terms of excitement or motivation or energy, physical energy or emotional energy, just any kind of momentum, whenever there’s a change, it feels like something’s gone wrong.

As a school leader, we have our own emotional fuel that we put in our tanks. So you might wake up in the morning and be getting ready for work, and the fuel, the octane that you’re putting in for the day, the emotional energy you’re feeling is pretty uplifting. It’s pretty high octane, right? You’ve got a really high-quality energy about yourself. You’re feeling good. You’ve got your coffee, you’re in the car running to work, and you’re feeling good, okay? 

And you’re putting in, you’re listening to the podcast, and you’re feeling really empowered, and you’re driving to work and you’re ready to go. And the minute you walk in, the secretary says, the attendance clerk is out, we’re down a sub, three people have already stopped by to talk to you, the superintendent’s office called, they’re going to do a walk-through today at one o’clock, and she is flustered. She’s exasperated, she’s flustered, and you can feel it.

When you walk into that office, you went from, yay, it’s going to be a great day, to, I’m feeling this vibe here. I’m feeling this energy, and now my energy has shifted. How I’m feeling has shifted. My mood. People call it their mood, like their mood has changed. Like she’s in a bad mood, or they’re not in a good mood, or now I’m not in a bad mood. You know, put me in a bad mood. That’s energy. It’s emotional energy. 

And we had our backpack, our emotional backpack, filled with our energy, and then we walked into the office and we got bombarded with somebody else’s emotional energy. And instead of maintaining ours, we added it to our backpack. So now, you know, we’ve got like hopes and dreams for the day, and we’ve got our plans and our calendar set. And then we’re like, oh gosh, now, hmm. Now she’s upset. Now I feel upset. I feel like I have to fix her. I don’t want her to be upset.

So now I’m going to do the attendance clerk thing, even though I don’t really know how, or I’m going to go take care of the sub so she doesn’t have to worry about that. And I’m going to try and fix how she’s feeling because I want her to have a good day. So because I want her to have a good day and because it’s my job as a leader and because I feel bad for her, I’m going to put her emotional energy into my backpack. So now we’ve got layers. We’ve got the hope of what we how we wanted to feel and where we started our day, layered with how she’s feeling. 

And then, as you’re trying to figure out attendance clerk, the sub, you know, what we’re going to do at one o’clock when the superintendent comes through a walk-through, now somebody comes, knocks on your door, do you have a minute? Famous line. Do you have a minute? Well, actually, no, but because I don’t want you to be upset, and I can see that you’re very worked up and something is very urgent, I will say yes, and I will meet you. So let’s come into my office, have a seat. May I offer you a coffee?

No. This is very urgent. This is very important. I have a field trip today, and this chaperone… okay? Now they are very anxious, really nervous, really wound up, and they’re coming to you because they want you to fix this for them or figure out a way. So now you have how you were feeling, how the secretary was feeling, and now how this teacher’s feeling, which then like impacts how you’re feeling. 

Now you’re like, oh my gosh, on top of being flustered, now I’m also anxious about this. We’ve got to figure out, we don’t have, we’re down a chaperone, and we have to have so many chaperones. We’ve got to figure this out. So now you’re taking that on. And then we handle that. And now we’re like, okay, we’ve got to go check in on breakfast. We walk into the cafeteria, and there’s a parent who says, “Hey, I just want to let you know, my son came home and blah, blah, blah about this other kid and they’re bullying my son, and we need to have a meeting about this.” 

And so now we’re like, okay, I don’t want you to be angry. So I’m going to put that in my backpack, and now I’m like, I’m feeling the fear of you being angry, and I don’t want you angry. I want you happy so that I can feel happy so that we can all get along. I’m going to have to take care of this. This is what leaders do. We take all of the emotions, and we embody them. We put them in our backpack, and then we wonder why we’re so exhausted. 

We’re just trying to get through the day. We are just getting up, living to work. We are in fight-or-flight ourselves. We’re just surviving, scraping by. And we wake up and we’re focused on what we need to fix. And we go in and we try to fix it. And we give it our all. We give it our all. 

There is not a principal that’s not working. I don’t know of a principal who’s really not doing the job unless they are in complete fight-or-flight, dysregulation, and they’re in freeze. Like they just, they’re frozen, they don’t know what to do, or they’ve tried so much, they’re physically exhausted, they just can’t do it anymore. But typically, the dip for us and for our staff members, because we’re all human having this a similar experience, we’re focusing on what’s not working.

Can you imagine that for the rest of your life, your job was to get up, get ready, go to work, and you have to maintain a positive attitude, but we’re going to make you focus on everything that isn’t working all day long. I know you set this up. I know you hired all your teachers, but now this one’s going on leave. I know you onboarded all your teachers, but this one is moving. Oh, I know you got your class lists all in place, but we got 15 more kids. I know that we were, said we were going to do this roll out, you know, in December, but we’ve decided we need to do it in October. Oh, I know the math books aren’t in. That’s okay. Yeah, I know not all the materials. That’s all right. You’ll figure it out. 

I know that your job is supposed to be an instructional leader, but we’re down subs, so everybody’s going to be in the pool and everybody’s going to be subbing. All of the school principals now have to sub, but you still have to get your other stuff done. And this is our assignment. Be positive, lead the way, and make progress, but the only thing we’re going to talk about, the only thing we’re going to look at all day long is what isn’t working, what you haven’t yet done, the failures you’ve had. 

We’re going to rub salt into those failure wounds. We’re going to remind you of those, and even though you have accomplished so many things, we’re not going to celebrate that because you’re on to the next problem, the next malfunction, the next unexpected emergency. That’s what we’ve been given as a job assignment, and we’re focusing on what isn’t working, what isn’t working, what isn’t working. Of course, we’re going to feel miserable.

Unfortunately, that’s not what life’s about. We weren’t born to be miserable every single day. We didn’t go into school leadership, we didn’t go into education to feel hopeless and depleted and defeated and discouraged and miserable and incompetent and insufficient and to be chronically dissatisfied with who we are and what we’re doing and where we’re going and what we’ve accomplished and who we work with. That’s not why we’re here.

It’s not location based. It’s not which type of school. I’ve seen it happen in, you know, primary, elementary, middle schools, junior highs, high schools, private, public, charter, specialized programming. It’s all common because we’re all humans. No matter where you go to school, what kind of school you go to, what age group, it’s all a human experience, okay? So it’s not the positions, it’s not the gray levels, it’s not the department. It’s just a human experience. 

Because of that, that’s very important to remember. I’m having a human experience. That helps ground you, but it also gives you agency over that experience because you can’t control what’s happening around you, but you can control your response to what’s happening around you. And it might not feel like you can control your response because you feel so tired, fatigued, fed up, overwhelmed. We’re going to talk about all those obstacles and what to do about them, okay?

So the fall dip in its essence, it happens when we as humans, as school leaders, lose perspective. We kind of get lost. We get down in the weeds, we get lost in the forest, and we’re not zooming out.

So, the third one is emotional fatigue. That might be happening right now. Physically, we go for it, mentally we’re going for it, and then emotionally, we are holding space for all the people. You know, teachers are anxious. Yep, we’ve got you. We’re going to take care of you. Staff members coming in questions like, okay, I’ve got you. Kids are anxious, parents are anxious. Everyone’s excited/anxious for the start of the school year. New people might be afraid, unsure of themselves, parents are coming in with all their questions. 

You know that energy where everyone else has a lot of energy going on emotionally and you’re like, okay, okay, okay, you’re trying to help them all. Eventually, you’re going to have an emotional crash. That happens when people are like riding this high wave, pushing through physically, pushing through mentally, then emotionally, or it just feels, it could be like you rode this high and now it’s like after a big event, you were so excited, you were riding this big wave of anticipation. 

The day was so much fun, and then you’re kind of like there’s a crash after, like you’re sad that it’s over, and what are you going to think about now? Sometimes we have that at the beginning of the school year, especially if like teachers are on it and they’re kind of quiet, you’re like, okay, who needs me? I’m used to like being on, you know, full gangbusters here. What’s going on? You might feel a little dip or a little bit of boredom like it’s a little too quiet, things are a little too stable. Like, who needs me? I need to be needed, right?

Okay. So there’s physical fatigue, mental fatigue, emotional fatigue. There’s a moment where we can kind of lose focus all together. It’s not so much the fork, it’s just kind of like, wait, who am I? Where am I? What am I doing? What’s my purpose? And we start to question ourselves, our identity, our role, our purpose, the mission, and we’re feeling like kind of fatigued from all of it, even just leadership fatigue. I’m tired of leading, but I don’t want to not lead. I don’t want to stop leading. So what do I do?

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit AngelaKellyCoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

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Ep #459: Internal Data: Leading Beyond the Numbers

The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Internal Data: Leading Beyond the Numbers

School leaders are surrounded by data every day. From attendance and academics to behavior and surveys, there is no shortage of information available to guide decisions. But what if the most important data is the information we receive from within ourselves?

In this episode, I explore internal data and why understanding your own thoughts, beliefs, emotions, values, and intuition is essential for effective leadership. We often focus so much on external data that we overlook the internal guidance that helps us interpret what we see, make aligned decisions, and understand what we truly need. I share why external data alone cannot create meaningful change and how paying attention to your internal compass can help you lead with greater clarity and confidence.

Tune in this week to discover how to balance the information coming from outside of you with the wisdom already available within you. You’ll learn how to recognize your own internal signals, make decisions with greater awareness, and create a more fulfilling experience as a school leader.

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Why school leaders often feel overwhelmed by the amount of external data they are expected to analyze.
  • The difference between external data and the information available within yourself.
  • How your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and values provide important leadership insights.
  • Why data interpretation is influenced by the meaning we attach to information.
  • How listening to your internal compass can support clearer decision-making.
  • Why meaningful change requires understanding more than just visible outcomes and metrics.
  • How to create a more intentional and fulfilling experience as a school leader.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Episodes Related to Internal Data:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, Empowered Principals. Welcome to episode 459. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not-so-typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host, certified life coach Angela Kelly. 

Well hello, my Empowered Principals. Welcome to the podcast. 459, when I said that out loud, wow, that really struck me. That’s a lot of episodes. We’ve been here on this show and this podcast in the world of the Empowered Principal®. So if you are new here, welcome. And you know what? If you have been listening to this for the last eight or nine years, thank you. 

Thank you so much for being here every single week. I often welcome in our new principals and our new listeners, but I don’t take the time to really thank my long-term listeners. I’m so sorry. I love you all so very much. This is why I do the podcast. I do it for you. So if you are a listener from the very beginning, or you’ve been in here for a few years, thank you. I appreciate it so, so very much. So we’re going to dive right in today.

I want to talk about data. Do you have PTSD when I say the word data? I know I do. So, we’re going to talk about data. We have a lot of thoughts about it, don’t we? We have beliefs, opinions, a lot of feelings about data. Some of us love it. Most of us hate it. I’m raising my hand. But let’s talk about it. Let’s make it make sense, okay?

I looked it up in the dictionary because we throw the word data around quite generously in the field of education. And the dictionary says that data is defined as information in visible form. And I found that interesting because to me that means that just about everything around us is data. Like the weather’s data. It tells us what’s happening in the atmosphere right now. Traffic is data. It tells us, hey, people are on the road. There’s a lot of traffic, a lot of cars. 

And because of that, we make it mean and we assume that it’s going to take a little bit longer to get to work than it does when there is less traffic or you know, you look on your GPS, when you see red, you know that means traffic and that means a slowdown and that means more time. So we are inundated with data. Our phones, our computers, oh my gosh. We are on data overload. We get emails, we’ve got the calendars, we’ve got all the apps, social media. Oh, and phone calls, that the one thing we probably use our phone for the least is a phone call. That’s a form of data.

So everything around us is data. And I consider this data in visible form, right? That form of data, I call that external data. It’s information that comes from outside of us. It is external from us and we’re taking it in, we’re consuming it. It is input going into our brains and into our bodies.

And in education, boy, are we inundated with data. Gosh, you know, just thinking about it, I’m just was so over it. I just got so tired and overwhelmed and kind of just sick of it. We were told data must drive instruction. Data is the answer to what we need to do next, that decisions should be data-driven. We have so much data in education. We don’t have the time nor the space to analyze all the data we collect.

And we’ve all been there. You guys know that feeling of analysis paralysis. We talk about this. We’ve talked about this for decades in education. The more that technology has come into existence and the faster it can collect data, the more data we have. And we are notorious. We spin out and we actually waste so much time analyzing data. We talk about it all the time: attendance data, behavior data, academic data. And we should, because it does give us information to make decisions. We want to make informed decisions. We don’t want to have no data or lack data. It’s hard to make decisions. I get it.

But if we’re being very honest with ourselves, there is so much external data that we collect and we dissect. We spend so much time collecting it and dissecting it that it’s not as informative as we’d like it to be. Meaning, we have all this data, we’re looking at it. Teachers are looking at it. We’re moving it around, we’re putting it on spreadsheets, and we’re not really sure what it means or why it’s happening or what to do about it. So we’re making guesses. 

And it’s part of the reason that we have just so much information overload. Can you imagine like being a student right now? If the principals are overloaded, the district staff’s overloaded, teachers are overloaded, can you imagine how kids feel? Like think of how much information and data they’re taking in their little worlds. It’s crazy.

And we have decision fatigue. We have data fatigue. Can you imagine how kids must feel? We spend so much time and effort looking at different numbers. When we spend all this energy trying to decipher what it means, what we should do, what’s the right thing to do, what’s the next best thing to do, what’s the priority? And depending on what we make that data mean, generally speaking, it’s not very fun because when we look at data, we’re not looking at celebration data. 

We kind of push that to the side. We look at the data that tells us the kids that aren’t doing well and the students who aren’t coming to school and the teachers who aren’t performing and the schools that aren’t performing and everyone’s looking around like we want to pick the school that’s got all the pretty A pluses and stars. We don’t want to go to that school that’s got B’s and C’s or even D’s or however they’re rating your school these days.

But we get caught in a catch-22 with data. We’re told as educators, as school leaders, as teachers, we need it. It is essential to make decisions and action plans. And then, at the same time when those plans that we created based on the data, don’t create the results that we want, then we’re told we used the wrong data or we misinterpreted the data or we didn’t use the right data, or we didn’t use it at all. And we just go around and around and we blame data. We use data, we spend time on data. We use it as a crutch.

But here’s the thing with external data. This is my opinion. So here’s the thing with external data. For every human who’s looking at it, every individual has a different way of collecting the data, analyzing the data, and interpreting it. Data means different things to different people. Some people will care about certain kinds of data more than other kinds of data. So they’re going to focus over there on that data. People will focus on and collect the data that is meaningful to them.

And why do we do this? Because we’re humans, because of what we make that external data mean and how that interpretation makes us feel every single time. So we will avoid data that doesn’t feel good, and we’ll collect data that feels a little bit better or we get hyper-focused on attendance data over academics. If they’re not here to learn, then we can’t teach them. And other people are like, but look at, you know, maybe kids don’t want to come because look at the academics and maybe we’re looking at this data about once they’re here. So if you think about data and it gives you the shudders, it’s because there’s so much meaning attached and so many feelings around external data.

But this is my stance and I will stand on this hill until somebody proves me wrong or I find another truth. But until then, we are not going to change the external data, meaning we’re not going to change attendance rates, we’re not going to change graduation rates or test scores or kids getting promoted or the number of kids on grade level. We are not going to change that kind of data or even like teacher surveys and their happiness and the culture and all of that. We are not going to change that external data until we understand our internal data.

Internal data is the information we receive from the inside, from our minds, from our bodies, from our hearts, from our souls. Your mind has thoughts. It has belief systems with deep, deep roots. It has interpretations of things, opinions of things, perspectives of things. Your body, it has data. I need to sleep, I need to wake up, I need to move, I need to rest, I need to play. I’m in pain, I’m in hunger, I am full, I am thirsty, I’m hot, I’m cold. It’s giving you data internally. Our heart emotions, how we feel, what feels aligned for us, what we value. Our heart tells us this feels good, this doesn’t feel good. 

This feels true, this doesn’t feel true. This feels aligned, this doesn’t feel aligned. Our soul, it’s the compass inside that there’s a knowing that goes beyond external data. We can look at data all day long, but you know how you just know? Your gut tells you something. It’s like, I know the data’s saying this, but I feel this. We don’t allow that portion of internal data to have a voice because people are, you can’t prove it or it’s not visible, it’s not on paper. 

But there’s an internal guidance. There is an internal GPS system that is at play. It’s our gut telling us information. Some people call that intuition. Some say it’s a sixth sense. Whatever you call it, I understand that it sounds woo woo. It sounds a little out there. And I know it can sound like fluff. I used to think that too. I’m a very tangible person. I like proof. I like tangible. I like external.

But however, I have studied this and as I’ve studied highly successful people, because I wanted to become one, I have worked with very highly successful schools, highly successful school leaders, highly successful leaders outside of education and highly successful coaches. Every successful person that I have personally interacted with or every book I have read on leadership, successful schools, when you read stories, whether that’s about coaches coaching their teams to championships, athletes, you know, Olympic athletes making it to the top, getting the gold, they say the same thing. Everyone speaks to this.

So let this sit with you for a minute. There is no moment in your school leadership experience where you have officially arrived. You are going to have moments that feel accomplished, moments where you get to experience something that you were striving for. You guys made it on the, you know, California Distinguished School list. You made it as a Blue Ribbon school, whatever your state says, you know, gives you these little awards that say you’ve arrived. It’s a moment in time. You get that moment. Like people go off and win music awards. Their album goes out, it goes platinum, they get an award for it. It’s a moment in time. 

But if they only celebrate the night they win the award, what is the rest of life like? It’s just there working and grinding and going into the recording studio and having to write and that all that work. If they hate that part of it, and then they hate going on tour, but they’re just trying to get the award. Think about that. That’s a very sad life where you are striving for the award and it’s a fleeting moment.

There is no moment where this work is done, no moment where you have arrived and you land forever, no moment where everything’s finally in place and you can just rest and ride. We are in the business of human development, including our own development. So what we’re talking about here, what education is for is to improve the experience of living as a human on this planet. That’s why we teach kids. We teach them to give them skills and knowledge and information and wisdom and tools and strategies to enhance their experience as a human on this planet, to give them the skill sets they need to live the life they want to live.

And this is up for debate and I could really go into this because, well, my conspiracy theory is that like schools are a way to control and to limit people. I want to break that open. I don’t want you to feel limited. I don’t want your teachers to feel limited. I don’t want students to only have certain access to the potential in their lives. But when it comes down to your life, I care about you. I care about your experience as a school leader. 

My experience was so miserable, I made it the rest of my life’s mission to help other school leaders not be miserable in their lives, to not want to want their job, but to actually desire it, to actually want it, to improve the experience of school leadership by understanding the internal data that’s speaking to us and to understand what it is that we’re actually doing here.

We are here to teach children so that they can enhance their experience. Same is true with our teachers. We don’t want teachers miserable. It’s miserable to work with miserable teachers. Have you realized that? You’ve had that experience. I know I have too. I have been one of the miserable teachers, and I’ve been a miserable principal. My district leaders don’t love miserable principals, even when they are doing things that make our life feel miserable, right? But that’s not the goal.

How can students know if their lives are being enhanced by coming to school? If we don’t tap into their internal data? If we don’t use internal data, if we don’t teach it, if we don’t exercise it ourselves? How can teachers know what they’re doing is working for them and for their students unless they check into their internal data and we allow them to. We have to give permission to talk about internal data.

How can we improve the quality of our own work, our own impact, our leadership without the guidance of our internal compass and doing what feels good for us? You guys, we are here to enjoy this life. Yes, we’re here to lead. Yes, we’re here to support. Yes, we are here to work and offer our talents with the world. Absolutely, yes. But we’re also here to live, to love, to enjoy.

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is helping leaders just like you learn to enjoy their jobs, actually enjoy their jobs, their lives, their schools, the people that used to drive them crazy. They now understand how to work with them. They have been focusing on what feels good in life and in their career instead of only focusing on what isn’t done yet and what hasn’t yet been fixed. Please, do not wait to enjoy yourself. Do it now. Listen to your internal data. What is it telling you? What do you need physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, spiritually, professionally? What do you need? Ask it.

Your data is so wise. It knows exactly what you need. It knows if you need sleep or not. It knows if you’ve been procrastinating or not. It knows the next best step. And even when you don’t know that, you have a pretty good hunch. Your internal data, I promise you, this external data, it’s a distraction. It wants to keep you distracted, keep you second-guessing, keeping you chasing, keeping you from listening to what actually will guide you. Your internal data will always guide you. 

It guided you to the person you’re with right now. If you’re in a partnership, a marriage, if you are in a relationship, it guided you to that person. It guided you to whether you or not you wanted to have kids or how you’re raising your kids. There’s guidance available there. And all of this external data, it’s just noise. And it’s not that you don’t want to look at it, you can take it in, but the internal data is what’s going to help you decide and cut through all of the data and all of the noise and all of the distraction.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your job is to swim through all of this external data and that is your job as a principal. That’s distraction in my book. Focus on internal data. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you cut through all the BS and all the distraction and all the noise. Give it a try, my friends. I care about you. I want you to enjoy your school leadership experience. Have a beautiful week. Happy fall, happy principals month. I hope you’re enjoying yourself. And if you missed it, let me know if you are interested in Flip the Fall Dip for the 2026.

And I just realized something. I have a very special announcement. I have a new access for you, especially if you’re incoming and new to my programs and you want to kind of taste test, like you want to go to Baskin Robbins and try the 31 flavors before you pick which one is the right one for you. I have something coming up. I’m not prepped to announce it just yet, but I am so excited. I’m going to leave you with a teaser. And next week, we will put that announcement in the actual podcast so that you can enjoy the new access that you will be gaining very soon. Have a beautiful week. I love you all. Take good care. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit AngelaKellyCoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

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Ep #458: When Your Empowerment Takes a Hit

The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | When Your Empowerment Takes a Hit

Even the most empowered leaders have moments when their confidence, certainty, and sense of personal power are shaken. Sometimes it happens gradually through small moments we overlook; other times, it arrives as a major challenge that changes everything.

In this episode, I share a deeply personal reflection on what happens when your empowerment takes a hit. I explore the moments when you question yourself, doubt your decisions, or wonder whether you can recover from a difficult season. These moments can feel overwhelming, but they can also become opportunities for awareness, growth, and reconnecting with your own personal power.

This week, you’ll hear how to move through seasons when empowerment feels out of reach, recognize that a setback does not define you, and understand why the moments that challenge you most can become the moments that strengthen you.

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Why even confident, capable leaders experience moments when their sense of empowerment feels shaken.
  • How small signs of misalignment can build beneath the surface before a major challenge occurs.
  • Why difficult experiences can lead to greater awareness, growth, and self-trust.
  • How avoiding uncomfortable emotions or truths can delay healing and learning.
  • The importance of reconnecting with your standards, boundaries, convictions, and dreams.
  • Why personal power can be rebuilt through small moments of awareness and intentional action.
  • How challenging seasons can become the next phase of your empowerment journey.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, Empowered Principals. Welcome to episode 458. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not-so-typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host, certified life coach Angela Kelly. 

Well, hello, my Empowered Principals. Happy Tuesday. Happy October. Welcome to the podcast. It’s a delight to be here with you today. And hey, if you love this podcast, if you find this valuable in your school leadership journey, please share it with some colleagues, share it with friends, share it on your social media platforms. I’d love to get this podcast into the hands of every school leader who desires to feel empowered. 

And this episode is exactly that. I want to talk with you about moments where your empowerment takes a hit. I speak from this very personally. I’m very candid. I tell the truth of my experience because we are all here living this human life. We’ve all had the school leadership experience. And we’ve all, as humans, had moments where our empowerment, our personal power, takes a blow. 

And you question it, you doubt it. I want to talk about that because so many of us are getting up every day, putting on our shields, going out into the world, pretending everything’s okay, working our tails off, running around, doing the very best we can for everybody else, trying to take care of ourselves, taking our vitamins, brushing our teeth, and trying to eat healthy most of the time. 

And then we go to bed and we get up and we do it all over again. Sometimes our empowerment slips away very quietly. We just didn’t really see it coming. Other times, it’s a big blow that feels like it hit you, like a Mack truck. So if you’re in this moment where things feel good, you’re in flow, things are in motion, you’re feeling good about the school year, you’re making things happen, you’re being productive, you’re being efficient, you’re being effective, maybe you’re really proud of yourself, where you are in your life, where you are in your career, or maybe you had a chapter where things felt good. This was me. 

I felt after I resigned from my position in school leadership and I launched this business, a lot of things happened. My son went off to college, we sold our primary home, we moved into our beach house, and I was starting this company. I was writing the book, starting this podcast, coaching my very first clients. And even though the business was brand new and it was hard, I had no idea what I was doing. It took me hours to write podcasts and I would be so nervous to get on social media or to post something because I didn’t want to be judged, didn’t want to be criticized. I was afraid of all that and I was new. I didn’t know what I was doing. 

So I was in the thick of being new and feeling all those feels. But it was also one of the best chapters. I felt in flow. It was wonderful and it was new, it was exciting. So even though it was scary, it was a good scary. And I was genuinely excited for everything lying ahead. I had big dreams back then, my sweet little self 10 years ago. I was so eager and hungry and just enjoying the anticipation of more good things to come. And somewhere below the surface, like almost far below to where it was unbeknownst to me, maybe this has happened to you, things are really going well. 

But underground, where you don’t even feel it happening, you don’t even know it’s happening, you’re not aware there is something shifting, like way at the core of your life, where you cannot feel it, it’s like an underground rumbling, and it’s shifting, you know, I think of like the earth, right, where there’s like little earthquakes down below, the ground is shifting around, and we can’t even feel it, they’re so low, they’re so deep, we’re not aware of them. 

And sometimes, you know, there’s little mini earthquakes where the ground shifts and we don’t even feel it even though it did shake the surface or maybe there was a little tiny shake, but we go about our day, we don’t think about that. Of course, I’m here in California, so I think about earthquakes, I relate to them. But in our lives, right, we have these little mini quakes that are happening, but they’re undetectable to like the naked eye or we don’t feel them. and we’re not aware, we’re just not tuned in. 

And then like you might notice once in a while, hmm, there’s something little over here or there’s a little crunchiness over there, but they’re not getting your attention. They’re not grasping your full attention because they’re small, they’re infrequent, they’re happening ever so slowly, that it’s not very drastic. It doesn’t feel like it requires urgency on your part, right? Little wobbles here and there. 

And you might feel yourself start to self-correct, but you’re riding on the high of the good. Of all the good things, you’re riding on the high, and these little things bubble up, and you’re like, meh. You know, it’s that resistance to awareness that I talked about earlier, where things are going really good. I don’t want to think about the problems or the little wobbles, or I feel something stirring inside of me. You know when you start to have a gut feeling about something? You’re like, hmm, no, uh, things are good. I don’t want to do that. But eventually you start to compensate. So instead of dealing, we compensate and we try to circumvent and we try to put band-aids on and work around it and make it be as good as it was in the good time. 

But something’s brewing underneath and it’s something that’s maybe not in our control or it’s something that is in our control, but we just are resisting the awareness to it. Okay? But eventually what happens, whether this is personal or professional, I’ve had both where I only could see it in hindsight. In hindsight, I knew the dots connected, but in the moment I could never have connected the dots. I could not see it coming. And eventually there’s a breakdown of some kind. There’s a collapse. There is an identity quake that shakes more violently and gets your full attention in the midst of all that you thought was going well. 

And after that hit, when your empowerment takes a real blow, you go back in the cave for a minute, you hide a little bit, you play a little smaller, you doubt yourself, the fears start to come to the surface. You’re not sure if you can trust yourself, if you can trust others, you’re doubting yourself like who am I? And did I create this? Did I do this? Should I have done this? Should I have not done that? You know that story? The thing that keeps you up at night where you just go over it and over it and ruminate about what could have been, what you should have done, what you shouldn’t have done? You wanted to just stay in the good times and not deal with the bad times. 

But then the bad times became worse times because in hindsight you didn’t deal with it. And so your empowerment went right out the window and you’re left with processing these emotions that you didn’t want to feel. You’re having to deal with situations you didn’t want to deal with. You’re questioning if you can ever recover from it. Wondering, do I have what it takes to bounce back from this? So whether that’s a conflict you’ve had with a teacher or a parent or a conflict with a district administrator or a conflict with a community member or a school board member, or it’s a conflict with somebody personal in your life, but it really shakes you and empowerment feels out of reach. 

There’s a moment where you wonder, does this moment, does this circumstance that I’m in right now, this chapter, is it going to define me forever? Am I forever damaged? Is my empowerment ever gone? Is it going to be accessible to me again, or has my personal power left the building? It’s that time that you really failed. Probably publicly landed on your face. It’s the time you lost, whether you lost a relationship, you lost a job, you lost income, you lost on an investment. You lost a loved one. You actually lost them. You lost your kids to college. Like there are blows that we take in our lives that it feels unbearable. It’s when the time that you feared the most actually happens. 

The one thing you never wanted to experience in life happens, or maybe there’s a series of them. And they hit you back-to-bac-to-back, like what has happened in my life recently. And it’s like, whoa, I thought that was the worst thing. Oh, wait, now this is the worst thing. Oh, this combination is the worst. Oh, wait, now another one. Oh, wait, another one. Oh my gosh. And you look through the lens of, can I take any more? Can I handle this? Where is my empowerment? Because I feel none of it. Everybody else just seems to be empowered except me. My personal power has drained down to zero, and I have no idea if I’m going to be able to recover. 

And as you’re combing through your past, looking at what happened, as I said before, it’s only in hindsight that you could see the signs, the little waves of misalignment, the times you didn’t listen to your gut, your intuition, the moments that you avoided the truth, telling yourself the truth, looking at yourself in the mirror, and speaking the truth to yourself. 

The glimpses of chances that you had to embody your personal power, but it felt uncomfortable to do so, so you declined. And now? Perhaps you’re in a chapter, maybe you’ve experienced this before, maybe you’re in it now, or maybe you save this podcast knowing that a time might come like this, or a time is coming like this, it’s speaking to you. But if you’re in a chapter where empowerment feels out of reach, first of all, I feel so much love and compassion for you and I send all of my love your way because I know that feeling, where the empowerment feels unattainable. 

And look, my entire brand, the world of the Empowered Principal is founded upon personal power and empowerment. That’s what life coaching is. It’s embracing and embodying and tapping into and leveraging your personal power. So imagine how difficult it is to coach people on empowerment when you yourself feel that all empowerment is lost and that empowerment feels unattainable. So what happens now? Is this it, or is a comeback possible? 

So let me offer this. It takes a minute to catch your breath after your empowerment sustains a significant fracture. It’s supposed to take a minute. If you’ve been in it for a month, two months, six months, a year, it’s okay. That’s normal. You’re not broken forever. It’s not permanent. If you were supposed to overcome it in a day or a week, then it wouldn’t have created the impact that it did in your life, but it also created potential. Hear me out. Because whenever your empowerment takes a hit, that hit is initially viewed as permanent, right? 

But that hit can be viewed as permanent permanently, or you can feel the burn, process the emotions, contemplate, reflect, learn, ponder, grow, knowing that this was a temporary sting that was designed to build you, that happened to enlighten you, to create awareness, to drop the resistance to the awareness resistance and bring it into your full attention so that you can strengthen your standards, your boundaries, your convictions, your commitment to yourself and your dreams. 

It was the test that reminded you who you are, what you want, and what you don’t want. And look, this test also is designed to remind you that you have what it takes. Even when you believe you don’t, even when you think this is it, this is the end. This is all I can handle. The test happens to empower you. Your disempowerment is so that you can remember your empowerment, leverage your empowerment, choose empowerment. Because just as empowerment can be chipped away one microscopic moment at a time, like death by a thousand paper cuts. It can also be rebuilt one microscopic step at a time. 

There’s one moment of realization. There’s one moment of declaration, one moment of action that you take, one moment of reconnecting with yourself, reconnecting with your personal power, because just as it can be chipped away when you’re not even seeing it happen and all of a sudden you and you wonder how you got to where you are, your empowerment can grow day by day, minute by minute, week by week, month by month, even when you’re not seeing external results yet, because they’re compounding over time. 

And then eventually one day you’re going to look around and you’re saying, wow, I’m back. I’m bigger, I’m better, I’m stronger, I’m wiser. I’m ready, let’s go. It’s like watching a child grow. You don’t see their body physically growing up. You don’t see them expanding and getting taller right before your eyes, or their arms stretching out, or their hands getting bigger, or their feet getting bigger. 

But when you go school shopping, you’re like, wow, shoes are bigger, pants are short. Pants are too short, shirts are too tight, shoes don’t fit. And you look at them and think, how did you get so big? When did that happen? It was all of the internal changes that we couldn’t see happening, but they were happening, compounding one day at a time. It was all coming together. Their growth, their strength, their size. 

So if you’re in a moment where your empowerment has taken a real hit, please know this. It is not permanent. As permanent as it feels right now, or as permanent as it felt back then, the hit to your empowerment is never permanent. It’s simply the next phase of empowerment. So remind yourself that. This hit isn’t permanent. It’s the next phase. I’m here for it. Have a beautiful week. Enjoy your October. And we’ll talk next week. Take great care of yourselves. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit AngelaKellyCoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

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