Ep #413: Drowning in Doubt: When Education’s Value Is Questioned

Hello, empowered principals. Welcome to episode 413.

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly.

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. And for those of you here in the states, happy Thanksgiving week. I hope that you have had the entire week off, but if you do not have the entire week off, this is one of the first beautiful breaks that you have to enjoy after the agony of the fall dip. And I want you to know that you’ve made it. This is one of the hardest seasons of the school year.

You’ve been going strong all summer long to get hired, to get all that maintenance taken care of, construction for those of you dealing with that, making sure you get the right people on the right seat on the bus in time for school, getting systems in place, getting people onboarded, getting families comfortable, getting students regulated, getting IEPs into place, getting teachers supported, starting those observations, all of the reports that have to be done at the beginning of the year.

I want to take this moment to celebrate your work. Really honor it. I want to acknowledge you. If you are listening to this right now, I can just picture you’re in your car going to or from work, or you’re off this week and you’re listening to this podcast on a walk or while you’re, you know, making Thanksgiving side dishes or you’re driving to see family or friends. I want you to know, I want you to see yourself, celebrate yourself, raise your glass to you for the hard work you’ve done.

You showed up every single day. When it was hard, when the weather got cold and you didn’t want to get out of bed, when you were exhausted, you showed up. You did the very best job you could. You have served your students, your staff, your families, your communities, your community, and you have served your district, even when they’ve questioned you, doubted you, even when it was hard, even when students challenged you, even when parents didn’t agree with you, you showed up. You got your stuff done on time. You turned it in. You went to the meetings. You supported your teachers. You showed up. You are a badass. You are a boss. You are so empowered.

It doesn’t have to look perfect. It’s about connection, not perfection. You’ve done it. You have gone through one of the hardest seasons, the fall season of school. And what’s so beautiful about what’s coming is there is a magicalness about the winter season. For those of you who would love to capture this magic, we’re going to be hosting the Mid-Year Reboot in January. It’s an opportunity. The doors open to The Empowered Principal Collaborative. You can join mid-year. You get a still get a full year’s access, so you can join mid-year, get in on this magic of the Mid-Year Reboot, restart, refresh, and really capture the magic of the winter season.

I’m going to teach you how to do your three-month plan, so you always feel three months ahead. We’re going to talk about what is a struggle for you, the challenges, the obstacles in your way, what you feel is insurmountable, and we’re going to break it down first in your mind, then in action. This is a great time to feel inspired, to reignite your motivation. You are such an important, valuable member of your team, and I don’t want that overlooked. And if you are drowning in doubt, if the fall season put you underwater and the waves keep hitting you and it keeps pushing you underwater and you feel like there’s an anchor tied to your leg, I’ve got you. I understand. I’m watching.

The world right now feels a little chaotic. Everything feels a little scary. There’s a lot of uncertainty, particularly if you live here in the United States. But I want you to know that we can create certainty in each and every day in the way that we think, what we choose to believe in, how we show up, the energy we bring to the table, our commitment to potential and all of the possibility that is available to us because our success isn’t going to be determined by other people. Our level of fulfillment, success, satisfaction, contribution, supporting students, supporting teachers, that is determined by us. And I know, I know the list is long. Students’ misbehavior, their physical outbursts, their emotional dysregulation, their psyche, their mindset of not having to be respectful or kind or to show up, not seeing the value in school, and being backed up by their parents who also aren’t sure of the value of school.

When everything we believe in as educators is being questioned by society, what is the value of school? What is its purpose? Do we really need to go? I can just learn this online. What is the value of school? They’re questioning our very mission, our vision for the future, the values that we have been living by, the philosophy we believe in, that education is knowledge, is power, it’s opportunity. The core of education is being questioned by students, by some staff members, by parents. And it’s time for us to congregate, gather around, and have conversations about communicating the value, to instill it in ourselves. What is the newfound value of education? What is the purpose now that people do have access on the internet where behaviors are off the chain, where people seem so dysregulated mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically?

We can be a grounding space for children, for staff members. Our primary goal might not be academics right now. I know that you feel that because you’re living it. And I’m coaching hundreds of school leaders across the country and in other countries who are watching the United States, and they’re feeling it too. There is an energy in our schools right now. I want you to know if you are drowning in doubt, if you are drowning in fear, if you are drowning in disbelief, what’s really going on here is that there is a disconnect. There is a dissonance between the expectations of what school should be, our expectations, kids’ expectations, parents’ expectations, teachers’ expectations. Everybody has an expectation of what school should look like and feel like. Everybody has an expectation of what the goals are, the purposes, the value is, and that is all in question right now.

So what’s really going on and the reason for all of the doubt that we’re drowning in is that there is a disconnect between what educators value and see as valuable in the field of education and in the work that we do on the daily versus what students and families value and see valuable. Before COVID, there wasn’t as much question about school attendance. Now, we always had issues. I understand that. But once we had the pandemic and people learned they could be at home, they could be remote, they could be on the road, they could go on vacation whenever they wanted to. They could travel. They could stay at home if they didn’t feel like coming in and just do a hybrid day, or if they didn’t want to be at school and somebody felt like they were being picked on or bullied or they didn’t want to deal with their social situations, they would just stay home. We’re hearing students speak different values, different beliefs, different outlooks, different perspectives that don’t align, that are in dissonance to what education believes as an institution.

Connections with families, staff, and students have changed. We’re expecting to feel connected, and they’re not feeling connected, or we are not feeling connected. We’re thinking that we should be focusing on academics and instructional leadership and teaching practices and approaches to student learning and schoolwide systems and safety and assessments and benchmarks and data. And all of that’s lovely. That is what we signed up for, but that’s not the reality of what education is facing right now. And so the internal gridlock that we feel, the drowning in the doubt that we feel is coming from this difference, this conflict between the expectations and the value system and the beliefs that we have versus the beliefs and the values and the reality of what we’re actually experiencing.

We expect that students will attend school. It’s the law. This is a compliance issue. People don’t care anymore. Some people don’t, right? There’s cognitive dissonance happening. We’re like, “How could they not care? This is the most important thing. Education is so valuable.” And we assume that parents want their children to go to school, that they will insist on attendance. And we say, “Well, back in the day, the parents used to back us up.” That’s not happening right now. So in education, we’re like, “What is going on?” We expect that students want to be at school, but they don’t. We expect that students and families understand the value that we’re providing, the value of attending school, the value of the content we’re teaching.

It’s so valuable to know your math. It’s so valuable to learn how to read and write. It’s so valuable to understand science. It’s so valuable to learn about history, the parts we’re allowed to teach. It’s not holding the same weight as it once did. The value of education is shifting. And we are caught in wanting it to be what it was back whenever it was working for us in our minds. And I don’t know really when that was because I feel like we’ve been on this treadmill for a few decades, but it’s really taken a spotlight, like it’s on the front page of all of our minds and hearts because after the pandemic, we saw an explosion of change in people’s mindsets, in people’s values, in people’s belief systems about the value of what we’re offering.

We expect that parents understand this, but that’s not the case for all parents. We expect them to honor and respect our area of expertise, which is education and student pedagogy. That’s not necessarily true right now. We expect that school personnel have some level of authority and expertise and that students and families should recognize this and honor our authority and expertise. And it does make the job easier when everyone’s in agreement, when students comply and come to school and are quiet and listen and do their work and do their studies and do their homework and come to school and learn how to be with their peers because they’re engaged with them for six hours a day and have to learn to navigate people and how to be with peers and how to be with people and how to feel their feelings when somebody’s been rude to them or mean to them or has bullied them or they’re in conflict with a peer.

They have to put themselves out there and be vulnerable and not know the answer and get called on, or maybe they got lost in their mind and they don’t know where to pick up reading. So school doesn’t feel good to some kids, and those kids don’t want to be in school. There are some kids who don’t mind school, but they just don’t see the value in it. They can learn different ways in different places. Some kids really want to come to school because it’s the safest place that there is in their day. They get fed. Hopefully, we still have lunch programs that are feeding children. But for many kids, coming to school is the safest place for them, and so they’ll put up with all of the learning and all of the things. They’ll do all of the things because they just want to be here at school where it’s safe. Other kids want to be here simply for the social aspect, although social media has kind of taken that priority over for them.

So what’s really going on here, it feels like we are losing at the game of education, is because there is such a dissonance, there’s such a gap between the expectations of educators and the expectations of students and some parents and some policymakers. There’s a conflict between the people that we serve and those who are serving them. And what I believe our new job is, should we choose to accept it, is to recalibrate the purpose of school and communicate effectively the value of school.

And I think that we need to have a conversation as educators about what is the purpose of school now in this day and age. What is the value, not to us? The value is we have jobs. The value is we love children and we want to support them and protect them and help them and teach them and mentor them and develop them as humans and empower them to have opportunity in their life. We have to redefine the purpose, the value for them. What is the value for them? What is it they actually need to know? We haven’t been teaching emotional regulation. How do we know? No one’s emotionally regulated, not the adults, not the children.

What else do we need to be teaching? Far more technology-based types of curriculum, types of engagement, types of interaction. And I don’t mean just putting them on the computer. I mean really understanding the sociology behind technology. And I don’t even know all that we should be teaching. I’m just coming up with things in my own head. This is why it warrants a discussion. This is why I invite you all into The Empowered Principal Collaborative. I want to create spaces where we have discussions around the purpose of school, the value of school, getting crystal clear on that. How do we articulate this? And then how can we re-prioritize how we spend our time, our day, our efforts?

It’s not that we throw academics out completely, but as you all know, because you are boots on the ground here, we have a conversation to be had, which is what is the purpose of education? What is the value of it? What is my new job? How am I actually spending my time? How do I need to be spending my time? What are we trying to accomplish here? Compliance, control, coercion? Or are we inviting in diversity, empowerment, diversity of thoughts, diversity of emotions, diversity of approaches?

Not just accepting diversity in terms of the color of people’s skin. We’re talking diverse mindsets, diverse belief systems, diverse values. How do we bring all of that to the table and not just make school a one-size-fits-all anymore? People are not buying that option anymore. It’s not a service they desire. It’s not what they want. We are actually a service-oriented organization, and we want to provide a service. And we are frustrated because they’re not accepting our service when we’re not looking at the possibility that our service is not something that is wanted.

Now, it is wanted by some people, but are they doing it out of compliance? Are the kids who are coming to school and the families who are sending them, are they doing it because they love the value of school, they see the value of school? Perhaps, maybe 50%, maybe 80%. And is there something refreshing that we could offer? And look, not one person has the answer. It takes a team to have this conversation. It takes a nation to have this conversation. It takes a globe, a world to have this conversation. We’re all in this together for the benefit of our children, of our students, of the future. But we start in the present moment.

So I invite you if you are drowning in doubt, if you want to have real conversations about what’s actually going on, I highly encourage you to come into EPC. We are having these levels of conversation, the depth of conversation. We’re working to get to the core of the problem, not just to put band-aids on the surface and to see how long we can hold our breath when another round takes us underwater. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know that we can avoid this conversation, not one more season, let alone one more school year. Come on into EPC. I would love to hear your thoughts, your opinions, your values. The more the merrier, because we want to have the diversity of perspectives and experiences and wisdom and knowledge in the room.

And who knows? One day, can you imagine one day EPC being the group that sends out recommendations and that calls in some of the greatest educational leaders of all time, and we become a think tank and a powerhouse for empowerment? Let’s go there. This is so much bigger than just what happened today. And yes, we’ll coach you on what happened today because what happened today matters. And in the context of the bigger picture, we zoom in, we solve for today, and we zoom out.

What’s the core of this issue? Why did this happen today? And where is it, you know, creating a speed bump in the bigger picture? I’m sending you so much love, so much gratitude, so much thankfulness for you being willing to be in education at a time of turbulence, a time of discord, a time of dissonance. There’s no stronger person than you on the planet. You’re doing one of the hardest jobs out there. I commend you for it. I honor you. I see you. I see your empowerment. Have a beautiful Thanksgiving if you are celebrating, and consider joining EPC. I would love to meet you. I look forward to the conversation. Have a beautiful week, everyone. Take good care. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit AngelaKellyCoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.