Do you have relationships in your life where you have a hunch that you’re being taken advantage of? Maybe someone is gaslighting you, manipulating your thoughts and feelings, or perhaps they’re asking you to overdeliver, overwork, or overextend yourself without reciprocating.

If you identify as someone who gets taken advantage of or generally feel like people approach you with the intent to hurt you, listen in. Usually, when we feel taken advantage of, we either dismiss it or stew on it, and both options hold us back. This is a very disempowered way to lead and live your life, so what can we do about it?

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My brain loves to frolic in the place of thinking about my clients. I spend a lot of time wondering how to make things easier for them, how to get them better results faster, and the best ways to model empowered leadership. As leaders, we often think about what the right, responsible, or proactive thing to do is, and I find myself in this energy often.

If you’ve ever felt spun out by your drive to get ahead of the game, whether professionally or personally, know that you’re not alone. The energy of being swift about our actions and wanting to do the right thing can feel empowering, but if you look underneath the surface, you might see that it’s not coming from an entirely clean place.

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There tend to be two camps of principals – the data-driven principals and the data-avoidant principals. Some of us get consumed with data and love it, whilst others of us freak out about it. I was in the avoidant camp for a long time, but this week, I offer you a balanced approach to data.

Data means what you make it mean, and it doesn’t have to make you feel bad. Data is simply numbers on a screen; it’s just math. Our interpretation of what we make that data mean is what makes it feel bad to us, but you don’t have to succumb to this disempowerment.

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Last November, I led a workshop at the ASCD Leadership Summit Conference on managing staff emotions. There was high demand and it had such a great response that I was asked to write a book on this topic. This week, I want to offer some highlights of this workshop to give you a sense of what I shared. 

As a school leader, you need to be able to hold a conversation and maintain your emotional stability while allowing someone else to have an emotional reaction. We’re approaching the end of the school year which means you’ve got testing energy, spring fever energy, and exhaustion. You’re also tasked with not only managing your own emotions, but your staff, students, parents, and school board’s emotions too.

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It’s March 2023 and I’ve been working with clients and talking to people all over the country who are experiencing one thing in common: stress, fear, doubt, and panic about hiring for the upcoming school year. 

If you too are in the midst of hiring in 2023 and the process is causing you pain, you’re in the right place. You have job vacancies that need filling. Many principals are of the opinion that there aren’t enough qualified people out there post-pandemic and that hiring subpar staff and teachers is the only option. 

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