As the school year is about to break for summer and holidays are around the corner, I’ve been thinking about all the changes that have been going on in my life. Today, I share a recent experience I had with a long-time friend and how our conversation sparked this week’s episode.

As leaders and educators, our aim is to be the highest versions of ourselves, allowing us to serve our colleagues and students, as well as ourselves. I’m all for transformation and striving to be the best we can possibly be, but sometimes our life choices and aspirations can make the people around us feel uncomfortable.

You might be doing some serious mindset work to climb the ladder, or maybe you’re on the other end of the stick, feeling fearful about the change you’re witnessing and struggling to understand where it’s coming from. Whatever the case may be, I’m here to shine a light on what’s happening and how it affects the people around you.

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As an educator, you spend your time running around after students and teachers alike, sometimes it can be difficult to take a step back and really acknowledge the amazing work you do and how it makes you feel. Well, it’s the end of the year – you made it! You’ve been a school leader for the whole year and now is the time to sit back and reflect on a job well done.

Of course, there will always be things we’re not so happy with the outcome of, so this episode is all about how to not repeat your failures as well as taking lessons from the good times in order to emulate them in the future.

This isn’t about being judgmental – this is about using the STEAR Cycle to extract knowledge from your experiences and preparing you for the future!

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At your school, do you go through your year being dragged from pillar to post by vendors, parents or your school district? It’s a problem as old as time which can make focusing on the big picture stuff a real difficulty. However, now we’re approaching the end of the school year, now is the best time to start maintaining your focus and planning with purpose.

As school leaders, our work is littered with new opportunities popping up and people vying for our attention. Some things seem important, but are they really contributing to your wider vision for your work?

In this week’s show, I impart the wisdom I’ve collected – with an analogy from my former superintendent – about how to keep going toward the outcome you set out to achieve, even if it means changing course in order to make it.

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When you’re having a bad time at work, do you find yourself pointing the finger of responsibility at the actions of the people you work with? We’ve all been through the scene – we’re talking to our friends and making our work environment sound like everyone is out to make life miserable for us – that we’re somehow the victim and there is something fundamentally wrong with everyone who makes us angry.

We often struggle to find compassion for those we believe are wronging us, believing that if we feel compassion, we are condoning their actions. But whenever we choose to approach a situation that feels extremely negative to us by condemning another person, we are actually putting that same energy out into the world.

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Welcome to The Empowered Principal Podcast. Every tenth episode, I am paying tribute to my greatest teachers and influencers. And with this being the 20th episode, I have some words of gratitude for one of the people who has been a huge influence in shaping my journey as a coach and my life as a whole – the awe-inspiring Dr. Martha Beck.

This week, I want to share some of my personal gratitude and love for Martha, along with some stories of how her teaching has influenced the ups and downs of my life. If it wasn’t for Martha, I honestly don’t know where I’d be today. Her advice has gotten me through the past few years, so this is my way of saying a massive thank you.

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We generally have an idea of the kind of principal we want to be when we finally receive the news that we have achieved the position. It’s usually exactly what we ourselves appreciated in a leader before we made it to the top. But it can be challenging when your vision and expectations don’t match up with the results you’re getting in your school.

This week’s show is a little different. I have two stories, based on true events, for all you educational leaders. I’m hoping these stories will help you in taking full ownership of the results your principalship is yielding.

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I don’t think there is a human being on this planet who looks forward to receiving criticism. As school leaders, everything we do is scrutinized; by parents, students, and staff. It really is part of being a principal that we know all too well.

Getting public negative feedback is a common fear among humans, which can lead to us holding back and not being our most authentic selves. However, if we’re not willing to be vulnerable in standing up and taking responsibility in this way, we are not being the most empowered leaders that we could possibly be.

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On the show last week, we dived deep into our brain’s predisposition to blaming other people for how we’re feeling based on their words and actions when really it’s our thoughts about a person’s actions that dictate our feelings. Toward the end of that episode, I mentioned boundaries and how it is possible for people to overstep into our emotional or physical space, which blurs the lines of blame.

I’d like to explain more about what I mean by this and how identifying when this is happening is crucial for us in remaining empowered. Boundaries are us taking responsibility for our own wellbeing – and make no mistake, that responsibility belongs to us.

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On last week’s show, we talked about the importance of taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. Taking this responsibility in our lives makes us feel empowered and helps us take ownership of our actions and results.

This week, I want to ponder the effects of doing exactly the opposite – blaming. It’s easy to start looking around you when things aren’t going great, but is it really anybody else’s fault that you’re not getting the results you want? There is no power in believing that you need others to behave in the way that you want them to in order for you to feel good.

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Do you always take responsibility for the things in your control? Most likely, you’re avoiding it at least a little bit. It makes sense why we want to resist or avoid responsibility when we hear that we have to be answerable and accountable for something within our control… nobody likes having too much accountability in their lives.

Surprisingly, I used to think that I wanted to be care-free and flexible and just do things whenever I want to do them. But I’ve learned that by taking responsibility, I actually have way more freedom and way more joy. If your desire to avoid ownership of your actions is holding you back, fear not because I am here to help! I’m going to give you the tools to identify when you’re skirting-around culpability and show you how this behavior stops you from contributing to solutions.

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