We are taught from a very young age, and we still teach kids today, that if we are upset, it’s because somebody else has done something to make us feel that way. Now, if you’re a regular listener, you will be familiar with the STEAR Cycle, essentially the concept that how we feel has nothing to do with anybody else but everything to do with our thoughts.
When something happens in our lives, that is a circumstance, and every circumstance is completely neutral. However, when we are in the heat and stress that school leadership can bring, it’s easy to lose sight of what is a circumstance (a fact) and what is our opinion about a circumstance (a thought). When these wires get crossed, we are not acting with the integrity required from a school leader.