You could probably think of one student right now who seems to demonstrate lazy or defiant classroom behavior. Maybe they just can’t get started on a simple worksheet, can’t get their desk organized, or turn in their homework on time. What’s going on here? And what does executive functioning have to do with it?

To illuminate what’s really going on behind challenging classroom behaviors, this week, I’m speaking to Candace Heiken: the founder of Lively Minds Institute and Cerebrate. With over 25 years in education, Candace is on a mission to cultivate independent, life-long learners through the development of executive function skills, and she’s here to share why prioritizing executive function instruction leads to an all-round win for everyone in your school community.

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This episode goes out to all the dad principals out there navigating your roles as school leader, father, and spouse. I’ve spoken to a number of my male clients who are struggling to figure out how to experience joy while running a school and supporting their families, and I’m sharing my insights with you this week.

It’s common to feel trapped being both a school leader and a parent, and it can be challenging to ask for space to fulfill your individual desires. Your brain may offer that you simply don’t have the time or permission to play, have fun, and do things that bring you joy when you have other priorities, but balance is possible and I’m showing you how.

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The fall dip is real, and my clients are navigating their way through it right now. They want to have fun and enjoy their jobs, but it feels impossible when everything feels chaotic, messy, and overwhelming, and it seems emergencies are popping up everywhere to tend to.

As a principal, you may be expected to fix everything, but it’s not actually your job to do so. If you feel called to attend to every problem that comes up, whether it’s with your staff, teachers, or students, listen in to hear how it’s having undesirable effects you may not be able to see right now.

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As a principal, you dig hard work. You didn’t sign up for school leadership thinking it would be easy. However, if you find yourself feeling perpetually busy, trying to spin multiple plates at once, and believing you have too much to do and not enough hours in a day, it’s time to understand what hard really means.

There’s an important distinction between allowing things to be hard, expecting things to be hard, and taking a break when something is too hard. I’ve been exploring this for myself in both my personal and professional life, and being able to differentiate between these three types of hard has been profound. 

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Do you think being in a leadership position means you must sacrifice yourself in favor of productivity and success? Where in your life do you feel like you can’t embrace moments of joy?

My clients often find themselves judging the things that bring them joy in their lives, whether big or small. They may believe it’s too trivial or luxurious to experience joy and happiness, and as a result, they deny themselves what is inherently their right as humans. The truth is that expanding your capacity for joy is a practice, and you might be using a lack of joy as an excuse for not having the experience you desire.

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