The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Silencing Overwhelm

Do you feel like you’re drowning in overwhelm as a school principal? Like there’s too much to do and not enough time, and you’re constantly putting out fires and trying to keep up with everyone’s demands and opinions? I’ve been there, my friend. 

I’m here this week to tell you that there is a way to silence the overwhelm – or at least turn down its volume. My guess is that you’re currently trying to outrun the overwhelm by working harder and faster, but the truth is it’s only leading to even more of it. The key is to stop, take a breath, and listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, and I guide you through this process in this episode.

Join me in this episode as I share my insights on managing the emotional intensity and fatigue that can come with being a school leader. You’ll learn the value of stopping to listen to what your overwhelm has to offer you. Discover what happens when you slow down and get specific about what’s working and what needs adjustment. I also share my top tips for untangling overwhelm so you can return to doing what you love as a school leader.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why trying to outrun overwhelm by working harder and faster only leads to more overwhelm.
  • How to regulate your nervous system and calm down the anxiety, stress, and frustration that come with being a school leader.
  • The importance of taking a pause and listening to your emotions when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • How to identify the specific reasons behind your overwhelm and use that insight to make adjustments.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 364. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Welcome to December, the month of head colds. I have a little bit of congestion. So I apologize for the change in voice on this episode, but the show must go on. I’m feeling better than I sound. I’m feeling much better than I did a while back, but this podcast feels very important to share with you because I’m speaking to all of you who are feeling overwhelmed. I want to offer some thoughts, some insights into silencing that overwhelm or at least turning down its volume. 

So this year has been emotionally intense. It’s been emotionally intense for a lot of reasons and with that emotional tension and that emotional intensity can come fatigue and overwhelm. For many principals, people have been reaching out to me in droves asking for help, for guidance, for support. They are eager to jump in EPC because they are looking to feel grounded. They want to silence the overwhelm. 

I have been working in EPC to help school leaders regulate their nervous systems, calm down the anxiety and the stress and the worry and the overwhelm and the frustration and the fear of not being good enough, capable enough, competent enough, fast enough, smart enough, decisive enough, just overriding insufficiency.

I have a principal who’s not a brand new principal. She’s been in the position for a few years and she has some experience under her belt, but she’s feeling more overwhelmed than ever. When you’re feeling that intensity of overwhelm emotionally, when it feels like everything’s coming at you at once, you can’t seem to get control of your time or your schedule, or it feels too difficult to prioritize. 

On top of it, you have people’s judgments, criticisms, accusations, requests, demands, their unhappy responses, thinking you should be doing things differently than you should be. When you have tasks on top of people’s opinions, on top of emergencies, fires, interruptions, behaviors, it can feel like there’s no going back. There’s no way to reconcile this and to get back on track. Okay.

When you’re feeling this way, the first thing you need to do is stop. It’s very counterintuitive, but the goal is not to go faster or schedule more or work longer hours. The goal is to stop yourself for a minute and take stock. You’re not going to feel like doing this because it feels like you’re revving at the start line. Why can’t I go just do the things and get them done so I can feel better? 

But if you take a stop and you pause and you look at that approach, let’s just think this through. You’ve been working harder and harder. People are asking for more and more. The demands are increasing. The timelines are coming. Observations aren’t quite getting done. People are not, you know, maybe behaving in the way that you want them to. Teachers aren’t teaching in the way that you want them to. Students are not engaging the way you want them to, or you have parents or you have IEP meetings that are not getting scheduled in the right time. 

When all of these things are coming at you at rapid fire, your brain eventually is going to want to shut down. It’s the overwhelm cycle in motion. You’re going to try and keep up and eventually you’re going to run out of steam, and you’ll want to shut down. It’s almost like you, you just want to close everything off. You just want to jump in your car and drive away. Have you ever felt that way? I have sat in my car a couple of times pondering if I should come back or not. 

First of all, it’s normal. The overwhelm is normal because there is too much to do in the amount of time you’re provided. If you were to fulfill every request, every ask, every demand, attend every single meeting, connect with every single human, connect with every single student, every parent, be in tune with the district office. 

If you were to literally do all of it per everybody’s opinion, yeah, there would be too much to do and not enough time. So if that’s a given, trying to outrun the overwhelm is what’s creating more overwhelm. But you go past the point of overwhelm into either frustration, discouragement, or complete shutdown, complete apathy. 

When the overwhelm is so intense that you feel like running, that is the time when the most important meeting on your calendar is a meeting with yourself to sit down and take a breath, take a few of them, and to pause your body long enough to start to regulate your nervous system, your emotional intensity, all of that overwhelm, the panic, the fear, the overwhelm, the doubt, the frustration, that all combined into one big intense emotion. It needs you to pay attention. It’s there for a reason. It is inviting you into awareness and reflection. 

So when the emotions get big, when overwhelm gets to be so much that the only solution feels like quit, run away, you are definitely in fight or flight, my friend. Sit down, ground your feet, take a breath and notice that if you actually sit in your office with the door closed and you take a couple of deep breaths, you’re actually safe physically. You’re actually safe mentally. You’re actually safe emotionally. 

It might not feel safe, but you can regulate yourself just like we ask kids to do. We ask them to learn how to emotionally regulate themselves. This is what we’re doing when we are in extreme overwhelm. We’re taking the breath. We’re going to pause for a moment. That pause is the magic wand to turning down the volume of overwhelm. It’s like saying oh, okay, I need a minute. Let me breathe. Let me slow down my body, my heart rate, my blood pressure, my nervous system.

Let’s say okay, I’m feeling overwhelmed. My mind is racing. My heart is beating fast. There’s a lot of energy in my body. When I’m overwhelmed, I know that overwhelm is simply a message to get my attention, to get me to slow down and stop and regroup and recalibrate so I can reboot and get back to business doing what I was meant to do. 

When overwhelm is overwhelming you, the quickest solution is not to run away from it, not to do more, take more action. The fastest response to turn down the volume is to listen to it, to let it guide you, to let it inform you. There is a reason that you’re overwhelmed every single time.

You want to identify why you’re overwhelmed. That is how you can untangle being overwhelmed. One thing I’ve noticed a lot of times when my clients will slow themselves down after they’ve done all of the venting and sharing as to all the reasons why they’re overwhelmed and the reasons why they can’t get out of overwhelm. One thing they notice is that they have dropped the reins of time mastery, of planning mastery, of balance mastery. 

They’ve just forgotten that they’re the ones in control of their time, of their planning to create balance, that they are the masters of their time balance and planning.

Now listening to this podcast right now, you’re like easier said than done. To that I say, of course, if it were easier done than said, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, and I probably wouldn’t be a coach. But the truth is that when we’re overwhelmed and overwhelmed doesn’t get acknowledged or validated or have a voice to share with you the insight and wisdom and wonderings that it has for you, and you rush away from it.

You’re like I’m overwhelmed. I’ve got to go do more. It’s a way of avoiding the emotion versus just sitting with it. Wow, I’m really overwhelmed right now. I’m spinning. I feel like I’m whack-a-moling. I feel like I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling incompetent. I don’t feel like I’m a good principal. See how your identity has shifted because of the overwhelm? How your actions are impacted because of the overwhelm. 

If you ask the overwhelm, what insight, what wisdom do you have for me? What knowledge do you have for me? It will tell you. It’s like, well, I’m overwhelmed because we didn’t plan for this, or there’s not a system for that. Or I didn’t schedule this or I’ve been overworking to the point of exhaustion. I can’t even think straight. Overwhelm will have some insight for you. 

That’s why it’s here. It’s knocking on your door to let you know it’s here. If you invite it in and listen, it immediately turns the volume down. Then when you take in that wisdom and you’re willing to use that wisdom and apply it to, Oh, I haven’t been planning very well. Why haven’t I been planning very well? Well, it’s because I’m whack-a-moling all day. I’m putting out fires, and I’m thinking the reasons, the excuses that my brain is offering is there’s no one else to do it. I help kids co-regulate faster and better. Teachers can’t do it. They’re overwhelmed. I feel bad for them. 

Your brain’s going to offer you all kinds of reasons that feel very valid. You have to look at them with a critical eye. Is it absolutely true there’s no one else, or do we just not plan for this or train for this? Then you’ll say well, there’s not time for that. You might feel like there’s not time to prepare somebody to delegate a task to, but what is it costing you in the end? Which is more time effective in the long run? Training somebody to support you or you doing it yourself for the rest of time. 

That goes from everything from newsletters, staff bulletins to cleaning the staff room. There’s so many things that we get our fingers in. Event planning is a big one, right? We think we need to be the person that plans all the events. We think we need to be the only person who can do the master schedule or facilitate every single meeting or write the bulletins or write the newsletter to the parents. There’s so many things that we actually think we need to do that we don’t and they feel very true.

So we increase our own overwhelm when we’re not willing to sit down and say how am I actually spending my time and what is the return on investment of that time? 

Back to the client I was working with. Her brain was being very mean to her saying she’s not doing anything right. She can’t keep up. Nobody’s happy. Nobody likes what I’m doing. Everybody has this opinion of me that I’m dropping the ball and I’m not doing this. I’m very scattered.

Why that felt so painful is a part of her brain that actually believed it. That she is dropping balls and she is scattered and she’s overworking at the cost of her friends and family and personal time, but not feeling like she’s creating the desired results she wants. Then you get into an argument with yourself. 

So now there’s a peanut gallery in your brain judging and criticizing every little thing you do, whether you do it right or whether you don’t. At the same time, the other half of your brain is defending yourself from the peanut gallery. So now you have an internal conversation going on that doesn’t serve you because half of you is being critical and the other half of you is on the defense and trying to justify your actions when the truth of it is we want to clear both of that. It’s not an all or none game. You’re not doing it all right or all wrong. It’s always the land of and. 

So being able to silence the overwhelm comes from you listening to the overwhelm. I’ll give you a little secret. This is true for every emotion. You feel slowing down, stopping, pausing, listening to it. What does it have to offer you? 

The same is true for people. When people are at you the most, when they’re coming at you sideways, the hardest listen to them, acknowledge them. Even if you don’t like what they’re saying, even if what they’re saying is not true, listen, because that person is creating overwhelm for you. The best way to turn down the overwhelm is to listen. 

Once you listen, the insights will come. I can show you how to do this. I know this is a practice nobody teaches you, which is what I teach in EPC. So I can teach you how to do this. But when you listen to your emotions, let them have a voice, validate them, acknowledge them and listen what they have to say. You will be surprised at how knowledgeable you are, how wise you are, how you actually know exactly what to do to turn down the overwhelm, to reduce the overwhelm, to silence it. 

You might not want to do those things and be in resistance to those things, but you know. So you know if you haven’t really been planning, but if you have been planning, then there’s something else. Maybe there’s a system that needs to be smoothed out. Solutions are in the specifics. 

Your brain wants to stay general and ambiguous, and overwhelm is very general and very ambiguous. It’s just everything’s wrong and it’s like Henny Penny and running around calling chaos. But the truth is that when you slow your brain down and you get very specific, what’s working, what’s a little crunchy, and what do I want to adjust so that I feel less overwhelmed? You’ll be shocked to know that you already know the answer, and you already have some solutions. You just might be in resistance to those solutions.

If you’re in resistance to the solutions, that’s where EPC steps in and helps you unblock and remove those resistant obstacles in your mind. Those thought obstacles, the reasons that you think you just can’t, we change that into, I can. We make it from hard to easier. We make it from complicated to simple. That’s the magic of EPC. 

So step one, you have the volume control for overwhelm, and you can turn it down as low as you’d like. It’s all up to you. EPC doors are opening in January. I would love to have you all join us. Join us now as an early bird, get on the wait list because we’re going to be doing the mid-year reboot. We’re going to reboot, recalibrate, get your momentum going for the second half of the school year. Have an amazing week. I’ll talk to you next week. Take good care. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | How The Principal Exchange is Empowering School Leaders with Andra Bostic and Sarah Murphy

Have you ever felt isolated and unsupported as a school principal? Are you struggling to balance doing the internal work of building up your leadership skills and emotional capacity, alongside finding the resources and tools you need to effectively lead your school?

In this episode, I sit down with Andra Bostic and Sarah Murphy, the founders of The Principal Exchange, to discuss how their platform is revolutionizing the way principals access support and resources. Andra and Sarah bring a wealth of experience to the table, having worked as classroom teachers, reading specialists, instructional coaches, and administrators in public education. Through their work, they’ve traveled the country, building relationships with principals and gaining a deep understanding of the unique challenges they face.

Tune in this week to learn about The Principal Exchange platform and how it provides an online marketplace where principals can find and share resources, connect with colleagues, and access the support they need to thrive in their roles. Andra and Sarah also share their vision for the platform and discuss how it’s helping principals overcome isolation, burnout, and the daily struggles of school leadership.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • How The Principal Exchange provides a platform for principals to share resources and connect with colleagues across the country.
  • Why principals often feel isolated and unsupported in their roles, and how The Principal Exchange is working to change that.
  • The importance of collaboration and teamwork in education, and how The Principal Exchange is fostering a sense of community among principals.
  • How principals can use The Principal Exchange to find resources on topics like classroom management, data tracking, and school culture.
  • The benefits of being a vendor on The Principal Exchange.
  • How The Principal Exchange is helping to reduce principal burnout and turnover by providing much-needed support and resources.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 363. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Angela: Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast this week. I have a very special treat for you. We have another interview. We’re just getting all the interviews on the podcast and I love it because as you guys know, I really vet people out. I don’t want this to be a big infomercial. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being solicited to when you listen to this. I want you to come to The Empowered Principal® Podcast and feel like you’re getting your values worth for your time. 

Today, I definitely have some wonderful ladies here who are going to share some amazing resources with you today, and I’m so excited to have them. I have Andra and Sarah, and they are the founders of the Principal Exchange and I believe also the Teacher Exchange, is that correct? 

Andra: So yes, it’s the Principal Exchange and then our other business is Tailored Education where we do have resources on there specifically for principals to use with teachers. 

Angela: Yes. Okay. So as you can see, I’m still learning about their services, but we had a little meet and greet last week a couple weeks ago and I just fell in love with these ladies. I love the concept. I love what they’re doing to support school leaders and to educators across the board, but their work’s really fun. I want you to learn about it, hear about it. 

So I’m going to turn it over to them and let them explain what the Principal Exchange is, how to access it, all the goodies that are inside, and we’re going to chat it up because I want you to hear the value that you can walk away with today as a result of the work that they’re doing. So welcome to the podcast, ladies. 

Andra: Thank you. 

Sarah: Hey, thanks for having us.

Angela: Yeah, so introduce yourselves and tell them a little bit about who you are, your background, and what inspired this idea, this concept of the Principal Exchange. 

Andra: Sure. So this is Andra from the Principal Exchange. To give you a little background about our educational experience, prior to Tailored Education or the Principal Exchange, we worked in public education as classroom teachers, moving to reading specialists, instructional coaches, ending on the admin team before we decided that we really could have a bigger impact outside of the schools reaching educators in general across the country.

So we started Tailored Education, and Tailored Education supports new teachers, principals. We sell like resources to schools. We do professional development. We wrote a book, Bashing Boredom, on student engagement because we felt like that was a big need. 

In doing that, we started seeing principals all over as we were visiting schools and building these relationships and seeing what really they struggled with and that they were kind of isolated, and that they didn’t have the supports that maybe teachers had through websites and resources and even just the colleagues in their building. That’s kind of what springboarded the thought of the Principal Exchange and getting this started.

Sarah: Yeah. As we traveled around, we went to all kinds of different places and found that especially in some of these places that were like more landlocked or small districts, it wasn’t uncommon for a district to just have like an elementary principal, a middle school principal, and then a high school principal. So there was no form of collaboration. They weren’t getting some kind of a curriculum to use. They were juggling all kinds of things, and they were there all hours of every day. 

I mean, really, it was just a struggle for them. We saw that. So we started to really think about okay, how can we help solve this problem too? Because like we value teachers so much, but we’ve got to have great school leaders too, and we need to fill their cups too. So that was really where we started. We kind of took that idea and ran with it, and it turned into the Principal Exchange

What that is, it’s like a platform. It’s a website, kind of an online marketplace, like a Teachers Pay Teachers or Etsy. It’s where a bunch of principals have came together and made their little like digital mini stores, you might could say, where they are uploading resources that are specifically designed for principals. These resources range from support with like classroom management, data trackers, climate and culture builders, really anything you could think of, you can find it there.

They’re putting all of that out there as a place for principals to come and find what they need so that they’re not having to create it from scratch. They’re getting new ideas and they can really save some time and feel like there’s some level of support for them too

Andra: We also found in doing this as we were talking with principals, a lot of principals end up having like a second job or feeling like they need something. We knew that was true maybe of teachers, but we didn’t realize how many principals felt that way. 

So to be a vendor on the page, it’s not a way to earn like a huge second income, but at least it’s another revenue stream for something that somebody is doing and already creating. They have these ideas that they can share with other people. So we wanted to support them in that way as well too. 

Angela: Yeah.

Angela: It feels like it’s like an Etsy or like kind of like an online farmer’s market. You can go to the little vendors and pick like oh, I need something on staff development or oh, I need something on like tracking systems. Or there’s different vendors. So the vendors are actual real principals and educators who have designed tools that work for them. If it works for you, you’re welcome to come and peruse and purchase if you want to. 

It’s such a cool way of just being able to share our experiences, our wisdoms, like our little area of expertise in the world of education and to allow people to benefit from that, you know, from the tool that we’ve created. So I think it’s brilliant. 

Andra: Well, thank you. We hope so. The vendors on there are awesome. They’ve really thought of like even categories that we hadn’t thought of to bring products in for. We also say like, if you don’t see what you need on there, let us know because there might be a vendor out there that’s willing to create it or has something that they didn’t think to put up on there. So it’s just an ever evolving platform. 

Angela: Yeah. It’s almost like you’re searching on Amazon, and you’re looking for whatever product it is that you need. It sounds like it’s in the categories and then they can look and see. People have different because it’s one approach might work for one person, another one doesn’t. But there might be multiple ways of doing it on the platform, depending on what it is and who’s sharing their information. 

So principals out there, if you’re listening to this, you can participate in one of two ways. You can be a vendor. You might have resources you want to share, and you can get a percentage of income on that. Or you might be a shopper, and you might be looking for some strategies. It sounds like mostly like tools, right? Like tangible things that you can. 

I think of Teachers Pay Teachers, right, where they go in and they can get actual downloadable materials for their classroom or for teaching and instruction and lesson planning or worksheets, that kind of a thing. So it sounds like it’s a similar concept. 

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. It’s just like that. It’s very similar to that. What we did was we thought had that mindset going into it, but we really wanted to make it so that like it was just for principals. That if you typed in like climate and culture builders or a data tracker, you’re going to have a bunch of different options that come up that’s related to your position and that’s written by people who are in that position too. It was really important for us for people to really be able to understand what that feels like right now to be able to support in that area

So we really tried to create a space that was just a really big support system for our school leaders because that was really important to us. The more we talked to them and we developed these relationships, like we just wanted to do something that could help them along on this journey

We started a Facebook page, and we started looking at what different things that like they like. We found that there’s a huge little niche of people out there that follow us that love just humor, some kind of like lighthearted way to end their day. So we try to come up with stuff like that just to bring smiles and laughter to them to lighten up some of the hard things that principals struggle and go through because we know that’s real. Anything we can do to kind of pick them up, that’s where we’re at. 

Andra: Right. 

Sarah: Yeah. 

Andra: Yeah. We try on our page too to put things that like draw them to be able to share something funny that happened that day or maybe even a struggle too. Because like we said, teachers usually have those colleagues in their building on their team or in their grade level or in their department that they can go to. But sometimes an admin team is isolated, and you don’t have that. 

So we really hope that our social pages and things that may be like conferences that we’re hoping to do in the future will really build not just the resources for our principals, but also that community for them and that place of support and understanding of like-minded people that have the same struggles and can laugh at the same kind of things that maybe if not, you’re going to be crying about. 

Angela: Yes. I know your story, but I would love for you to share your story. Like, what is your relationship with school leadership? Because I’m sure the listeners, you’re saying they and them and they’re like wait a minute, what’s going on here? So like tell the story of your relationship as it relates to school leadership, the position of school leadership. 

Andra: Sure. So starting like prior to either of these, like I kind of gave a little glimpse into earlier, both of us have our admin degree, and we’ve had that experience like in a school itself before coming out for Tailored and the Principal Exchange. 

Even being instructional coaches. I think that’s when we first got a glimpse of where the lack of resources because a lot of the times what we were doing when we weren’t working with students and things was creating those resources for the principal in our building. As we became more of the admin team, like seeing that those resources were missing. So it kind of started there

Then our relationship with principals and school leaders has really expanded as we started with Tailored, as we’re going around to support new teachers and do professional development and go to conferences through the lens of Tailored Education. We’ve talked with so many principals and they’ve shared with us that they are lacking in these resources. Or if we share something oh, I never thought of that and things like that. 

Sarah: Yeah, we spend a lot of time in school buildings now as more on like the consultant side of things. So when we’re working with brand new teachers who come in without licenses and helping them get through the steps to get there. We are working closely with those principals to see like who needs what. Where are we? We try to be super aligned with coaching that we’re giving, making sure it’s aligned to school initiatives and stuff like that. 

So in building these relationships with people, really it’s easy when you’re in your own building to think like is it just here? Is it just this district? Like what happens if I go somewhere else? But we’ve now worked with many different even states. We’ve been to several different states and worked with principals in so many school districts and it’s everywhere. So when we really stepped out of that and saw like that, it’s everywhere. We were like okay we’ve got to help. We’ve got to help do something.

Angela: Yeah. The reason I ask that question, just to reiterate it, is that sometimes principals and district leaders, we can think that if a person hasn’t been in the position or hasn’t served on the position then they don’t really know the position, which there is definitely a layer of truth to that

Why I love what these ladies are doing is that they’re approaching supporting site and district leaders from the lens of instructional coaching, the lens of teaching, to be able to provide you as the leader with the tools that bridge between the leader and the teachers. To help you from that lens of instructional coaching or from the lens of a teacher to really help you be a better leader, to help you have the tools you need in hand that will relate and be relevant to instructional coaches or to the classroom.

So that it’s not just principals leading the way leading principals. It’s a teamwork approach where we’ve got the instructional coach lens. We have the teacher lens and the site administrator lens all coming together to share ideas, tools, strategies that will allow you to do your job to the best of your capacity because you’re looking through multiple lenses. It’s not just this one area of focus. 

Because I’m pretty particular. I understand that leaders are like well I don’t want people coaching me if they haven’t done the job. This isn’t coaching. This is a marketplace. This is a venue for you to be able to go shopping and make your own decisions about what resources you need and which ones fit best. It’s just the platform. 

They’re providing the opportunity for you to go shopping and to have access to these resources that otherwise wouldn’t be accessible. Like they would be just kept in the hearts and the minds of the individual who created them. You’re giving people a voice and a space and a platform to share that, which then inspires other people to be like what can I share? Now we’ve got a community of collaboration and connection and building up one another, focusing on strengths, focusing on what’s working. It all comes together through these multiple lenses. 

Sarah: That was a big thing. We moved from being classroom teachers into instructional coaches. Then we took on major school leadership roles when like COVID hit and people got spread out. You had to step into those shoes, processing referrals, running IEP meetings, balancing frustrated parents, answering the phone calls, and just being there to step in all the time. 

That lens thing that you were talking about is so important because it’s so easy for teachers to be like well, they don’t understand what I’m doing or they don’t care about how hard it is in my classroom. As a school leader and as an instructional coach, a lot of times we found like sometimes teachers can struggle to see the bigger picture, like more than just on their hallway.

We really tried to, in all of the roles that we’ve had, bridge those gaps. Relationships has been our number one thing from day one before we even started any of this and helping bridge those viewpoints and just let everyone see that we’re all on the same team. Sometimes it’s just little bits of information that get lost in the middle. 

Andra: Right. The team that we were on before we left the school there were people from different backgrounds and stuff. So it was kind of we brought all those pieces. But as we travel around, we see if you’re the only principal in a school and you only came from one pathway, maybe the Principal Exchange platform can help you have those other lenses or bring those strengths that maybe you don’t have yourself in. 

From people who are really good at making data spreadsheets. That’s not your strength, but you don’t have a big enough team to have somebody on that team that has that strength. So hopefully the platform itself can play off that as well and provide that for people who have a smaller team, or maybe they have the same strengths and they’re looking for resources and things from people that come from those different viewpoints or that different pathway. 

Angela: Yes. Another thing I love about this, like it takes teamwork to such a deeper level, that we are all on the same team as educators. That we’re all out there, regardless of what state we’re in, what city we serve, what community, what school. We’re all trying to do our best to serve kids in the best way possible

What this does is it brings a layer of teamwork and collaboration that otherwise, like the way that the system’s currently set up, it’s like who’s the top school, and what’s the top score, and principal of the year, teacher of the year. There’s all of these, I don’t know, accolades within the field. But what it does is it individualizes us and it separates us and it doesn’t build team. It builds like a competition almost

This platform, it’s a space where you can feel safe enough to come in and share openly and collaborate, but it’s collaborating across the board, across states, across private/public, across K-12. It really is like a hub, like the town square, right? 

A place where people can come and everyone’s welcome and everyone’s invited. It’s a place where you can actually support one another without feeling that there’s any judgment or criticism or feedback or score or grades that you’re trying to hide from or trying to better or one up or whatever, right? That competition piece gets dropped out in this space.

Andra: Right. It’s just what do you need, and we hope that’s there for you, whether it’s on the platform or this community we’re trying to build right now through social media that hopefully transfers to like a conference with the same mindset. Where we hope principals are going to want to come in and they’re going to be the ones presenting at this conference and sharing their ideas and what’s going well in their schools and things. 

That’s the future of where we hope this is leading to. Maybe someday like a podcast where principals can share their stories and things. All of that kind of community that we feel like exists in a very small place right now that we hope is a growing place for principals. 

Sarah: Yeah, that was the idea behind the name is the principal exchange. We want principals exchanging and sharing, collaborating and bringing their successes and their struggles all together, you know? 

Angela: Right, right. Yeah. I love seeing opportunities like this because when I was a principal, and that was only 10 years ago, it was completely isolated. There wasn’t anything. Nobody was focusing on the school leader. It was the teachers. Right? Everything was on instructional leadership, instructional coaching, support for new teachers. Like we had the New Teacher Center come in and provide like mentors for the first two years of teaching. But it was like, here are the keys. Good luck.

Andra: Right.

Angela: That was it. So I did that for seven years before I saw a need. My niche is definitely like I’m a life and leadership coach. I’m a certified coach. So I’ve been in the job. I can coach on it, but I also mentor. But I’m working on time mastery, balance mastery, planning mastery, like emotional regulation. So that is a coaching piece that the work is within. Right? 

Andra: Right. 

Angela: This is like you get to go out into the world and you get to have that external exchange of ideas and connection and energy. Right? You just, you feed off of other people’s energy and enthusiasm and excitement and ideas. That adds to the experience for students, staff, and the principal, which is it’s such a beautiful collaboration of the internal work that I do with school leaders and then the external like connection and collaboration that you guys are offering as a platform for them. 

It’s beautiful to see that there’s people out here like hey, paying attention to the school leader. Hey, there is a need that is significant here. No one person can. Again, this is teamwork. There’s no one person that can cover all aspects of this job or what it entails. I love that you’re coming in really from the lens of I see the school principal struggling. I want to help them. I’m the instructional coach. I want to

They’re telling me their version, their perspective. Now we can take our talent and perspective as an instructional coach and be like hey, this is what we’re good at. This is what we see that you might need that could really help you. Now we’ve got a true collaboration. Not like there’s collaborations, and I’ve witnessed this like you’re playing collaboration, right? 

Andra: Yes.

Angela: Right. 

Andra: Right. 

Angela: There’s what it looks like and then there’s what it is. 

Andra: Right. You can try it, but does it actually work in our both parts or all parts really involved? Sometimes that’s the challenge. 

Angela: Yes. Yeah. It’s like, is this a safe environment? Do I trust people? Can I be somewhat vulnerable? Can I be honest? Most times it’s no, we shut down. So we play collaboration. But this sounds like it’s an invitation for people. Like they’re putting their wares out for you. You know, so again, like a market. Take it or leave it. But it’s a matter of like people are putting themselves out there for the benefit of the greater good, which I think it’s an act in education that we need to tap back into.

Andra: Yes. I think also the vendors on our page are so awesome. We weren’t sure when this started, how many people would be interested in this, and who even had time to do this and things like that. But they’ve been so awesome

What I’ve also seen and what we’ve seen is as vendors put their resources out, and there’s great feedback on it and they have success with it, maybe that’s helping with some of that burnout and things because they’re thinking oh, well, somebody else has used this and actually found value in it, and it’s made their day a little bit easier. So we’ve seen that piece of it too. So that’s been really neat. 

Sarah: Yeah. When we came into this, we also we ran into the idea of like we also don’t want principals like having to fork out a lot of their own money for this.

So within the system, we’ve embedded places for like POs. There’s W-9 forms, things you can print off so that you can use like school cards and school funds to pay for this stuff because it’s going back to your school. It’s to help your school leadership in your building. We want this to not be like well can I or can’t I? 

But we’ve really tried to think through all of the things that might be a hurdle in a principal’s way. We’re always open for feedback. So if anybody has any new ideas or is like oh, this would also be awesome to see, it really is a space that we’re trying to create just to support the school principal. 

Angela: Yeah. So, so, so good. So if listeners are dying right now and they’re like, I need to know all the details, all the information, give it to them. They’re going to be flooding over there. So tell them all the things.

Andra: Sure. So the website’s just theprincipalexchange.com. When you go there, whether you’re looking to be a vendor or whether you just want to check out all the resources that are already on there, the website is the same for that. We’re on social media, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and all of that’s just the Principal Exchange as well. So we hope that, and there’s so much value in there. Of course, we’re posting and putting things, but value from other people and the vendors and things too. So it really is just a community that hopefully they’ll follow and find beneficials. 

Angela: Yeah. We’ll put all of those links in the show notes so you guys can check them out. Do you have any last words of insight of information that you want to share with the listeners out there?

Sarah: We see you. Like we see you out there doing the best you can every day, and we just hope that we can do a little bit to support you in return. 

Andra: You’ve been doing great things because everybody talks about teacher burnout and teacher turnover, but we see the principal burnout and the principal turnover, and we want to help that. We want to make this a better place and provide that support. So.

Angela: Yeah. Yeah. So, listeners, I just want you to imagine having coaching and mentoring plus the Principal Exchange in your back pocket. You’re going to be a rock star. It really take your school to new levels because you’re going to be doing the work that I do, the work that they’re offering. You’re going to have the tools and the resources across the board

That is what helps reduce burnout. It’s what makes you feel more impactful, more influential, build up your legacy as a school leader because this job is hard, but it doesn’t have to feel hard. The way that it feels less hard is when you’re doing the internal work that you need to do, building up your leadership skills, building up your emotional capacity, your leadership capacity, and having the resources you need at your fingertips so you’re not reinventing the wheel all of the time. It’s what it feels like when you’re in the position.

So I feel like this combo is just like the triple crown of school leadership, development and empowerment and resources. You have them at your fingertips. The links are in the show notes. Ladies, thank you so much for your time. Thank you for the meet and greet. We had so much fun on that. I really do hope that this is the beginning of so much more availability in principal resources. 

Because this is just getting started, right? This is just the beginning of this program for you guys in this platform. I can see it really turning in to a thriving city market, like a little town square market, right? So I invite people who are listening. If you’ve got ideas and strategies and you want to be able to share something, reach out to the Principal Exchange. I’m sure on your website there is a place where they can get more information about being a mentor

Andra: Correct.

Angela: Then if you just want to shop and window shop and take a look, you can do that too. So there’s no harm, there’s no foul. It’s just pure support, pure fun. I’m just thrilled to see these types of resources popping up for school leaders as they have been over the last decade for teachers. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for this service. It’s so desperately needed. I wish I’d had it 10 years ago, and I’ll do everything I can to promote it, to get it into the hands of the people who need it most. 

Andra: Well, thank you. We really enjoyed being on today.

Sarah: Thank you so much. 

Angela: It was my pleasure. All right, empowered principals, have an amazing week. Don’t forget, check out the Principal Exchange and we’ll talk to you guys next week. Take good care. Bye. 

Hey empowered principal. If you enjoyed the content in this podcast, I invite you to join the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to experience exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. 

Look, you don’t have to overwork and overexert to be a successful school leader. You’ll be mentored weekly and surrounded by supportive likeminded colleagues who truly understand what it means to be a school leader. So join us today and become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country. Just head on over to angelakellycoaching.com/work-with-me to learn more and join. I’ll see you inside of the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Stress Free Walkthroughs

Do walkthroughs stress you out as a principal? Do you see your teachers getting anxious and worried whenever district administrators come through your school? This is a common problem that can create a lot of unsettled energy on campus, and the truth is it’s your duty to confidently lead the way for your staff.

If you find yourself stressed out about walkthroughs, it’s an indication that you have some internal work to do as a principal around your thoughts about yourself and your work. The great news is that when you learn how to create psychological safety for yourself around the walkthrough process, you can do the same for your teachers. And in this episode, I show you how to banish walkthrough anxiety for good.

Tune in this week as I dive deep into the reasons why walkthroughs cause so much stress and anxiety for both principals and teachers. I explore the childhood roots of why feedback can feel so scary. I also share concrete strategies that will help you build your confidence as a principal and create a school culture where walkthroughs become a positive, stress-free experience for you and your teachers.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why walkthroughs trigger stress and anxiety for principals and teachers.
  • How childhood experiences with feedback shape our identities and fear of criticism.
  • Why all feedback is simply an opinion, not an absolute truth about you.
  • How to create psychological safety for teachers around the walkthrough process.
  • Strategies to build your confidence as a principal around walkthroughs.
  • The power of focusing on what’s going right versus what’s going wrong.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 362. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday and happy December. Look at us already in December. My goodness. Time is flying. We’re in the magic of December and all of its festivities and celebrations. It’s such a beautiful time of year. I hope you are enjoying yourself and really allowing yourself the pleasures of this month of December.

I want to talk with you about walkthroughs, teacher walkthroughs, classroom walkthroughs, district walkthroughs. Walkthroughs have been coming up this year. Teachers are highly stressed about walkthroughs. Principals highly stressed about walkthroughs. We’re going to talk about how to create a stress-free walkthrough environment at your school. So let’s talk about it. 

Most teachers get very nervous of walkthroughs. Administrators get anxious about walkthroughs. We get anxious about district administrators coming to our campus. Teachers get very anxious about district administrators walking through their campus. So there’s a lot of unsettledness that comes with walkthroughs. People are unhappy about them. They’re frustrated. They’re fearful. They’re worried. They’re stressing out. They’re freaking out. They’re unsettled. 

When your teachers don’t feel good, when they’re stressed out, you’re stressed out. You don’t want them to feel this way because you know the impact it has on them, the impact it has on the classroom. So you’re frustrated that they’re frustrated, right? You’re feeling uncertain. They’re feeling uncertain. It creates an energy on campus of a lot of stress, a lot of pressure. People aren’t happy about it. They might feel a little disgruntled about the whole thing. 

We’re going to break this down a little bit. So if you think about walkthroughs, let’s talk about why they’re stressful for you. Let’s talk about why they’re stressful for teachers. Then let’s talk about how to create a more stress-free environment and help your teachers feel more confident regarding walkthroughs. 

So we’re going to break down the worry here. When you think about walkthroughs, what exactly are you worried about? Now, everybody’s going to have a different response to that. Are you worried what they’ll see, what they’ll think, what they’ll do, what they’ll say, what they’re going to tell you to fix, who they’re going to tell you to fire? That’s usually what happens for us.

We freak out because we’re like oh my gosh, we’re being vulnerable. We’re being exposed. What are they going to see? What are they going to say? What are they going to do? What are they going to tell us that we have to do or tell teachers they have to do? So we anticipate a negative feedback experience. 

We never really stop to think about oh, they’re going to come in and they’re going to be so enamored and so excited, and they’re going to be so mind blown at how great teachers are. We’re always like what isn’t going to work? What’s going to go wrong? What are they going to see? Just notice that.

The brain defaults to this. It’s normal. Notice it in yourself. What are you thinking is going to happen? What are you anticipating is going to happen because of this walkthrough? How are you feeling about it? Are you worried you’re going to get fired? Are you worried you’re going to get demoted? What is it that you think is going to happen? 

Oftentimes, if you sit yourself down and you ask the question what am I freaking out about here? Or what am I worried about? If you’re honest with yourself, you’re like I don’t feel like I’m going to get fired. I don’t really feel like they’re going to demote me. 

It’s more the fear of feedback. The feedback of something we did or said or decided, something we didn’t do or didn’t say or haven’t decided, something wasn’t right, something wasn’t good enough, something needs to be changed. That’s typically where we fall in the land of I’m worried, I’m stressed, I don’t like this feeling. 

What I find so interesting about feedback, and it’s something I’m exploring at a deeper level because we are in the business of giving one another feedback. We’re giving students feedback. We’re giving and receiving feedback as a principal. We’re giving and receiving feedback to our teachers. There’s such a visceral reaction to feedback.

I think about this, where does this fear of feedback come from? We brace for feedback and we anticipate and expect the worst kind of feedback. Where is this coming from? I can see it. It comes from our childhood, from our parents, from other adults in our lives, mentors, it could be grandparents, aunties, uncles. It could be coaches we’ve had, but it also happens with our teachers.

It stems from our childhood when adults were constantly giving us feedback about what we did right, what we did wrong, what we should be doing, what we shouldn’t be doing. We started interpreting that feedback and creating an identity around it. 

We didn’t discern for ourselves if the feedback was accurate or true for us or aligned. We were just kids. We were just taking it for face value, believing it and creating an identity around who we were as a student, as an athlete, as a musician, as a test taker, as a child of a parent, as a sibling, as a cousin. Like all of these people giving us feedback in our life, we’re bringing it in and it’s molding and it’s evolving our identity because we’re taking it on at face value. 

So we would interpret that feedback and decide what we made it mean about us, about our character, about our intentions, our integrity, whether we are a good kid, a bad kid, whether we are a good student, a bad student, whether we were a good athlete, a not so good athlete, all of that. We make these decisions based on this feedback, okay? 

That happens in childhood because we don’t have the awareness or the tools or the discernment to say hmm, I’m wondering if this feedback is accurate or what else this feedback might mean because when we’re kids, we’re very worried about the consequences of this feedback. That we’re going to be in trouble. There’s going to be a physical consequence. There’s going to be a grounding and something’s going to be taken away from us. We’re going to be deprived of our friends or our phone or TV or our favorite things, maybe a mental consequence, how we think and perceive ourselves. 

We anticipate some kind of consequence from parents, from teachers, from adults that have authority over us in our childhood, and feedback can become very scary. So for the adults who experienced as children feedbacks and consequences that were painful or scary, feedback as an adult can be absolutely terrifying.

Because we’re an adult and we have a little more authority over our lives and a little more agency over there, we’re just going to do anything we can to try and avoid it. As an adult, you get to decide what the feedback means. You get to discern for yourself if the feedback lands for you, if it’s accurate, if it feels true, if it feels aligned for you. 

Feedback at its simplest form is simply an opinion. So your boss gives you feedback, that’s their opinion. When your spouse or partner gives you feedback, opinion. Kids give you feedback, your teachers, your boss, anybody. When anybody gives you feedback, it is their opinion of the situation, their opinion of how something was handled, their opinion of how you handled it or your actions, your words, your decisions, that kind of a thing. 

But it’s really an opinion. It doesn’t make it the law. It doesn’t make it a rule. It doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t mean it’s true about you. It doesn’t mean anything outside of you other than what you make it mean. I will say this. It’s much easier said than done to separate that out. Because we’re wired for connection and for inclusion. We want to be liked. We want to be a part of the community. We want to feel that people respect us, admire us, and value our contributions. 

But if we do acknowledge that any kind of feedback we receive is an opinion, we can separate it a little bit from ourselves. We don’t have to take it as absolute truth. We can take a moment for ourselves to discern the feedback we’re receiving. 

So I’ve talked about receiving and giving feedback on a different podcast episode. I believe the episode is 255. So listen to that one, and you can dive in on how to give and receive feedback. I think the title of that one is called Coachability, but it’s really on receiving feedback, giving feedback, and how to interpret that feedback and discern for yourself what lands for you, what feels true for you, and other types of feedback that doesn’t. 

So allowing your opinion of the feedback to be taken into consideration as much as you consider their opinion, that’s what I talk about on episode 255. So check that out for more feedback discernment. But what I want to contemplate today is why you don’t like the walkthroughs and how to make them more stress-free for you and then why teachers might not like them. 

So you are going to have thoughts and opinions about the walkthroughs. The district announces, we’re going to do walkthroughs this year, and we’re going to come through and spend five minutes per classroom, and then we’re going to take notes, and then we’re going to debrief with you and debrief with the leadership team, and then you’re going to have to take it back. They’re going to tell you what their process is for the walkthrough. 

You’re going to be like oh, this doesn’t sound fun at all. This makes me nervous. I’m worried what they’ll see, what they’re going to say. They’re going to tell me I’m going to have more work on my plate. They’re going to tell me I have to go fix my people. My people are good. What are my teachers going to think? How are they going to feel? This is going to just cause disruption in the classroom. What a big mess, right? You’re going to have a reaction. 

I want you to notice why. Think about this deeply. When you’re nervous about district administrators coming to your campus, there’s a vulnerability there. There are insecurities that you have as a school leader. Thoughts about you, thoughts about your identity as a leader, thoughts about your school, your thoughts about what’s working, what’s not, and what you make that mean about you as a leader. Your identity is feeling challenged. It’s being questioned. 

Because think about principals who are like, bring it on. I love walkthroughs. This is great. I want the feedback. I’m looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to show off my school. I’m confident. I feel good about this. There are people that have stress-free walkthroughs all the time. 

If you’re stressed out about walkthroughs, it’s an indication that you have some internal work to do, some identity work to do as a principal around your thoughts about yourself, your thoughts about your work. You’re probably really hyper-focused on what isn’t working versus what is, and you’re probably leaning towards the wanting to be perfect, wanting everything to look smooth and perfect and problem-free in your classrooms, problem-free on your campus, right? So, notice this. 

Then I want you to shift gears and look at your teachers. When you see teachers freaking out, it’s the same thing. You’re upset because they’re upset. You want to protect them. You don’t want them to feel bad. Number one, you can’t control their emotions. 

But two, if you think about why teachers would be freaking out about walkthroughs, yes, it might be new to them, and new is hard and different. It feels uncomfortable. That’s one part of it. But if it’s a standard practice and people just don’t like it, the reason they don’t like it is because they’re afraid to be vulnerable. They’re afraid their insecurities will come to the surface or something will go wrong. It’s their identity, their self-efficacy that they’re grappling with. Because there are confident teachers. Anybody can come into the room and they don’t mind at all.

So, we want to identify what’s the difference between principals and teachers who are confident with walkthroughs, who have no stress about them, and teachers and principals who are stressed out about walkthroughs. So, you might not like it for different reasons than your teacher or similar reasons, but typically it comes down to feeling insecure, being afraid, anticipating a negative outcome. 

So, lots of times when we go through the walkthrough experience, we try to dog and pony show, right? We say we don’t want to do that with our teachers and we create safe spaces for them to be authentic, but then district comes in and now that’s not authentic. Okay, what’s going on? 

It’s the same process. Am I going to be judged? Will it be a safe experience? Will I be emotionally safe? Will I be professionally safe? Will I be publicly safe? Am I going to be publicly embarrassed? Are they going to talk about me at the district level, or are they going to move me? Are they going to come in and sick the coach on me and make the coach now work with me for some incompetency that I have? There’s a lot of stress that can be involved there.

But what’s really happening at the end of the day for these teachers, it’s not about the walkthrough. As funny as that sounds, it feels like it’s the walkthrough, but it’s their thoughts about the walkthrough. They’re trying to catch me doing something wrong. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel like they have value to offer.

What’s in it for me? Why are we doing this? I don’t understand the purpose. I don’t see the value. What’s in it for us? What’s in it for kids? What’s in it for teachers? Are they just walking around trying to be seen? Is it a political move, right? There are so many thoughts that teachers have. Are they picking on me? Are they trying to come after me? There’s a lot of scarcity and fear.

So what can you do to calm and bring down the stress level? Teachers are worried about themselves at the end of the day. They’re not good enough. They’re not doing enough. They’re not doing it right. They could get it wrong. District leaders are going to come in and tell me I’m not doing it the way they want me to. I don’t know what they want from me. I don’t trust them. All of those thoughts.

They’re making it mean their opinion defines me as a teacher. They define my career. Their opinion is going to determine my experience. These people have power and control over me. They have power and control over my career. 

Do you see where there is no authority, no agency? They feel completely disempowered because they believe that that opinion matters more. That they have control over their career. They have control over the experience. Their opinion determines how I feel and think about myself as a teacher. They’re trying to catch me do something wrong.

What you can do as a principal is to address this, what the walkthroughs mean for the teacher. When somebody walks through your classroom, it doesn’t mean anything about you. If they’re looking for perfection, that’s not the school. You can create safety with your teachers to say look, we don’t have to be nervous about this. Here’s all the things going right. Here’s how you’re amazing. Tap into your confidence. 

Be you. Let them see the reality of the job. If they see it, they see it. Do the best job you can be the best version of you. But worrying is going to make you more nervous, which is going to make you question and doubt yourself, which is going to come across in your teaching when they’re in the room. 

This is a five minute walkthrough. Be yourself those five minutes. Be the confident, brilliant, expert teacher that you are. New teachers listen up. They know you’re brand new. You don’t need to fake it. Be energetic, be happy, be enthusiastic. They’re just looking for will over skill. You can create a mindset with your teachers that takes down the stress that makes it less stressful for the walkthroughs. 

You can take your teachers through this. Imagine what it’s like for a teacher who has no fear of anybody coming into their classroom. They’re confident in who they are and what they’re doing. Even though they have bad days, even though they’ve got a kid who’s going off the rails, they’re confident in themselves. They trust themselves, even on bad days. 

At the end of the day, when you’re doing your best and you’re feeling confident about who you are as a teacher, no one’s firing you. No one’s moving you. They’re coming in to see, and they’re getting a snapshot. 

You can create less stress in the walkthroughs by number one, bringing down your stress level by building your confidence, tapping into your empowerment, and then reassuring your teachers. They’re okay. They’re safe. Be themselves. It’s okay to have people walk through. It isn’t a problem. 

Ask the teachers. If it weren’t a big deal for walkthroughs, then what would you be thinking about yourself? How would you feel? What would you be doing? You’d still be doing your thing. You’d be doing your thing whether people are in there or not. Just do your thing. 

Now, if what you’re doing in your classroom makes you nervous because you don’t feel like you’re honestly living up to your highest standard, it’s an invitation to live to your highest standard. But most teachers aren’t doing that. Most teachers are trying their hardest, and they’re worried it’s not going to be good enough. They’re worried that people are looking for perfection. 

Let’s be honest, there are districts who walk through and they do look for gotchas, and they want to talk behind your back and complain about everything that’s not working. That’s on them. You focus on what is at your sight. Here’s what’s working. Here’s why we’re great. Set the stage. If the district people want to look for the gotchas, they can look for the gotchas. It doesn’t have to mean that it’s true about you. 

They want to nitpick at something? Okay. Let them. Let them be wrong. Let them have their little moment in the sun, and you carry on. If you know you’re doing a good job, it doesn’t matter. If your teachers know they’re doing a good job, the walkthroughs don’t matter. If someone gives you feedback, discern for yourself. Does this land for me?

A lot of times when you get feedback and it kind of hurts, there’s some truth in it. It’s like yeah, I really didn’t plan that lesson very well. I was on my B game today or I haven’t really been differentiating like I know I can, or I know that’s possible, or I haven’t been tapping into my coach. There are some truths that come out in feedback and they’re painful, but we have the opportunity to build up our identity as a teacher and as a school leader.

We can take that feedback and say like, you know what? I want to feel better about this. This doesn’t feel good and I want to make it feel better. So I’m going to lean into this. I’m going to learn how to do this. That’s all it is. If something doesn’t feel good, what would make it feel better? Lean into that. Like we talked about on the episode about pleasure being irresponsible. Lean into the feel-good goal. Let it feel good.

So what do teachers want to feel when administrators walk through? They want to feel confident. They want to feel assured. They want to feel trusting. They want to feel safe. They want to feel aligned. You can help them with that. So what thoughts would your teachers be thinking about themselves, about their teaching capacity, and about feedback?

What would they be thinking if they weren’t afraid of walkthroughs? What would they be thinking about themselves, about the district leadership, about the experience of walkthroughs in general, about the outcomes, about the feedback? What would they be thinking about it? Walk them through the process from being afraid, feeling insecure, into feeling secure. Give them the support they need. Tell them to create safety for them, but walk them through the process of what it would look like to be afraid of the walkthroughs versus confident, or at least certain.

Try that. Let us know how it goes. Would love to see you in EPC. Doors are going to be opening in 2025. Happy December. Enjoy this month, and I will talk with you all next week. Take good care. Bye.

Hey empowered principal. If you enjoyed the content in this podcast, I invite you to join the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to experience exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. 

Look, you don’t have to overwork and overexert to be a successful school leader. You’ll be mentored weekly and surrounded by supportive likeminded colleagues who truly understand what it means to be a school leader. So join us today and become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country. Just head on over to angelakellycoaching.com/work-with-me to learn more and join. I’ll see you inside of the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Equal Value but Different

As we celebrate Thanksgiving week here in the US, today, I invite you to give thanks and to consider the value every single person brings, both to your campus and personal life. It’s easy to fall into the trap of compare and despair as school leaders, and in this episode, I share a new way to think about the value everyone contributes to your school.

“Equal value but different” is a powerful concept that has transformed the way I think about my work as a school leader and my relationships in my personal life. It’s the idea that every person has inherent worth and value to offer, even if it looks different from what we typically prioritize or celebrate.

Join me this week to learn what the concept of “equal value but different” means, how you can apply this concept to your school community and personal life, and the impact it could have on staff morale, collaboration, and student success.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why comparing ourselves to others often leads to feeling inadequate or resentful.
  • The importance of valuing different types of contributions equally, even if they look different.
  • How acknowledging the value of every role can boost morale and collaboration.
  • Ways to apply the concept of “equal value but different” to your personal relationships.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 361. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my Empowered Principals. Happy Tuesday. And for those of you in the United States, Happy Thanksgiving Week. Hopefully, you are off for the week, but if not, hopefully you’ll be off by tomorrow or Thursday. I wish you rest, relaxation, pleasure, fun, sleep, whatever it is you need, a beautiful Thanksgiving celebration.

Set the intention to enjoy whatever Thanksgiving festivities that you are planning to attend or to host if you celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving here in the United States. I’m thinking of you all, so grateful for you, so happy for you, just so appreciative of the work that you do, education, the gifts that we have to offer our kids, and I have so much intense gratitude for the gift of coaching.

I have never been in a group like the Empowered Principal Collaborative. The energy in this group, the wisdom that these principals are sharing, the insights, the breakthroughs, the transformations, the aha moments that are being witnessed in this group. It’s phenomenal. And I hope that if you’re not in EPC now that you consider joining us one of these days because the breakthroughs I’m seeing are absolutely incredible and I’ve never seen so much happiness and joy and fun and excitement, energy. It’s really got an incredible vibe.

I feel so good being in this group. I’m the coach, but everyone is coaching, everyone’s contributing, everyone’s having conversation and uplifting one another, and it’s like anything else I’ve ever experienced as a school leader, so I hope that you consider joining us when the doors open again, which will be coming up in 2025, and put it on your calendars. I will keep you all posted.

In this week of Thanksgiving, I want to share a concept that helped me as a school leader and it’s really evolved the way I think in my personal life and I’d like to invite you to consider this concept and apply it at work and then at home because I think and feel so differently than I used to. I feel like this concept is in contrast to the work we do when we compare and despair.

So when we are comparing and despairing, we’re looking at our colleagues or other schools and their scores or our colleagues and what they’re doing or our fellow teachers, what our teachers are doing versus what other teachers are doing, or the scores, or district office, what they’re doing, what they’re not doing, or we get on Instagram, or Pinterest, or Facebook, or pick a platform, and there’s people out there doing the million things. We’re comparing our experience to theirs. We’re interpreting their experience, and then we are feeling bad about ourselves.

Or at school, we’re comparing who’s contributing the most. We’re looking at who’s doing it right, who’s doing it wrong, who’s contributing this amount, who’s not contributing, who’s adding value, who’s not adding value, like what positions are more important, what’s the priority than others, right?

I want to offer this. I believe that every human on this planet comes inherently worthy of love, appreciation, contribution. Everyone on this planet has something of value to offer. Everybody deserves empowerment. Everybody deserves a chance. Everyone has capacity and ability. Does everybody tap into that potential? No.

We, as empowered principals, create awareness that we have the opportunity and the invitation to tap into that potential. Some people don’t even have the awareness. They’re too busy comparing and despairing. They’re too busy focusing on what isn’t working or why they can’t or all the excuses or all the reasons as to why they don’t feel good. They don’t feel the way they want to feel. They don’t accomplish what they want to accomplish. They don’t have what they want to have. They don’t experience what they want to experience.

It’s not that they’re not worthy or they don’t have value to offer or that they’re not capable or that they have something inherently broken or wrong with them. It’s simply the thought that I don’t have value to offer, I don’t have worth to give, I don’t have the ability to create influence and impact.

Something I realized when I was in school leadership is that every person on the campus, and I mean every person, is contributing value. Every single person. They have the potential to create a lot of value. Our job, should we choose to accept it our mission is to help theme see their value, to feel their value, to contribute their value through inspiration, through feeling good, through creating an identity of value, that we all contribute value, we all are valuable. Here’s the most concrete example I can provide. 

You, as the school leader, people might view you as the leader of your school as the most important role. It’s the most valuable role. And then everything below you, like subordinates, they contribute value but less value. Right? So like, it’s you and then it’s your assistant principal or your office staff and then it’s your teachers rank high up there, and then perhaps your instructional coach, and then maybe it’s your special ed team, and then maybe it’s your intervention teachers, and then it’s your behavioral specialist, your support staff, your paraprofessionals, and then, you know, custodian bus drivers.

We think in hierarchy because our world is set up in hierarchy. I want to offer that it’s not a hierarchy. It’s different types of value but equal, shoulder to shoulder, side by side, hand in hand. That what we contribute is of equal value but different.

Here’s what I mean. What I contribute as a principal has significant value, but so does the teacher in the classroom. You take the teacher out of the equation, we have less value as a school. We want to value the value. We want to value the person who’s providing the value. When you are out a teacher and you don’t have a sub, you feel the impact. There is a loss of value that happens. We very much value having our teachers in the classroom, and we very much value having a substitute when our teachers, who are human, need to take a day off, or they’re sick, or they’re going to a wedding. We need to value the position and the person in the position equally. It’s not more or less valuable. It’s different value, but equal.

Empowerment. They bring empowerment, they bring value, they bring power to the room, to the campus, to the school, to our mission. Same is true with paraprofessionals. When you don’t have a paraprofessional, teachers are going to let you hear about that because of the value it provides to the teacher, the student, the classroom. Same with our custodians.

You lose a custodian, you’re without a custodian, and you’re the one cleaning up the trash and the vomit and the broken glass and unplugging toilets that kids have shoved paper towels down or cleaning up lunch, you know, milk spills. You value the person’s contribution. It has tremendous value because of the impact it has on you to be able to create your value, your impact.

I want you to think about every adult on that campus and the value that they provide by being in that role and offering the service they’re offering. Without custodians, what would life be like? Without bus drivers, without technicians, without maintenance, without our technology staff, without our instructional coaches, without our speech teacher, our resource teacher, or our behavior specialist, the nurses, the counselors, your attendance clerk, your office staff, your assistants.

And furthermore, at the district office, Sometimes we’re like, what are they doing up there? Not doing anything valuable. They’re sitting around. They’re not working hard like us. I used to think that, so I could say it out loud. And then I realized, equal value but different. It looks different. It sounds different. It feels different. But it’s of equal value. That’s what makes the school go round. That’s what contributes to the mission, the greater cause. For us, for them, for the greater good.

So, as you’re celebrating and giving thanks for all the amazingness in your life, consider the value and give gratitude and appreciation for every single person on that campus. You don’t need to do more. You can just feel it, feel the appreciation, smile at them, say something to them, wink at them, let them know, tell them the value. You don’t have to buy them gifts or, you know, go out of your way and spend tons of effort, time, or energy or money, you want to just express your appreciation, express the gratitude, acknowledge the value that they are providing to you, to the school, for the staff, for the students, for the greater good.

When your support staff feels just as empowered and just as valuable as the teachers, can you imagine how much they’re gonna show up if they feel so valued as a custodian, as a bus driver? I used to run sodas out on hot days or bottles of water out on hot days for the bus drivers.

That one act of kindness, that one appreciation, or I just would chat with them. I can’t imagine this day, the kids are wild, just letting you know have a good one or good luck or what’s coming up like how would that field trip go? Little minutes of connection can remind them of their value. It’s easy to feel unvaluable when nobody’s watching or paying attention and yes it is our job to know our own value, but as leaders, we have to know our own value but know that everybody around us is equally valuable. Just it looks different, it feels different, it shows up differently in a different context.

And then, what I have learned more recently is I can apply this in my personal life with friendships, with family members, relationships, equal value, but it looks different. I can appreciate the differences in approaches and opinions and in personal values when I understand that it’s equal but different, but it’s no less valuable than what I believe in, or it’s no less valuable than my way of doing things, or the reverse. I’m no less valuable. Like if someone tells me like you’re doing it wrong and it’s like no my way isn’t less valuable. It’s just different equal value but different

Try that on Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your holiday. Enjoy your celebrations. Take time for yourself. Make this about pleasure, rest relaxation and fun. I love you all, have an amazing week and I’ll talk to you next week. See you soon. Bye!

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Pleasure Is Not Irresponsible

Do you believe that experiencing pleasure and joy in your work as an educator is irresponsible? Have you been taught that hard work and struggle are the only paths to success, while leisure and satisfaction are selfish indulgences? 

As an educator and school leader, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless demands of the job – pleasing your staff, students, parents, and district, putting out fires, and chasing external metrics of success. We think experiencing pleasure and delight in our work is irresponsible, but this week, I challenge the deeply ingrained belief that feeling good is at odds with being a committed, effective school leader.

Join me this week to hear my own journey of breaking free from the “pleasure is irresponsible” mindset, and what happens when you do the same. You’ll learn how the unspoken rules you’re currently believing may be holding you back from truly thriving as a leader, and how intentionally flipping the script will create positive change for your entire school community. 

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why the belief that “pleasure is irresponsible” is so pervasive in education and how it holds principals back from thriving.
  • How tuning out your emotional needs in the pursuit of external validation leads to burnout and disconnection.
  • Why being a servant leader to the point of martyrdom creates dysfunction in schools.
  • How to use your feelings as a compass to guide your decisions and actions as a principal.
  • The transformative power of allowing yourself to experience joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment in your work.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 360. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, empowered principals, welcome to episode 360. Well hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Here we are at 360 episodes of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. What a celebration. What a milestone. Unbelievable to be here with you every week for 360 weeks. It’s amazing, and I do hope that if you’re a listener and you’re a fan of this podcast and this conversation resonates with you, that you share this podcast with colleagues, with your boss, with your district, with anybody that you think will benefit from the work that we’re doing here in the empowered principal world. 

My desire is for everyone in education to feel good about themselves, about the work they’re doing, about the progress that staff and students are making, about the culture of our schools, about the intention behind what we’re really doing here, which is developing humans, developing teachers, developing ourselves. 

Learning doesn’t stop when you graduate college or get your master’s or even your PhD. We’re on the planet as humans to be lifelong learners. And I don’t mean that to be cliche. I mean that because choosing that identity as an educator gives us an entirely different experience in our lives. 

When we decide I want to learn how to rollerblade or roller skate or ski or play pickleball or tennis, or I want to learn how to do a TikTok or figure out how to use something on my computer, GarageBand, or I want to learn how to make videos, or I want to understand Instagram better. 

There is an endless supply of ways we can learn and grow, and the way that I’m inviting you to learn and grow is to learn about yourself. What makes you tick? What makes you feel good? What makes you feel bad? Who do you love to be around? What do you love to do? What is your interest, your passion? What do you love outside of work? Who do you love to be with? Who’s the person that you want to become? What are the past pain points we need to heal up, that we need to learn from, that we need to rewrite the script on what happened, why it happened, and how it happened for us. 

There’s an endless way to learn and to grow and develop yourself, all the way up until the end. And today, I want to talk about this idea that we offer in education. We offer to students. We offer it to teachers. We’ve been offered it as a child, as a student, as a young adult. And it’s this concept that leisure, joy, delight, satisfaction, contentment is irresponsible. 

And I have something I want to share with you that really shook my brain to the core. You know that feeling when somebody says something and it catches your attention so profoundly that you’re like, what? Because it feels totally opposite of everything that you believe in your bones, that you’ve believed your whole life. It’s like somebody will say something and for some reason it catches you and you just can’t believe that that might be true for somebody else. 

And you think about it and you’re captivated by it. And it’s like it unlocks something or unleashes something. It just gives you permission to think about your life, your experience in a completely different way that you have never thought of before. Like permission to have dessert before dinner. Like as a little kid that was kind of off the table, you just thought this is the way it goes. 

You have to eat your dinner before you have dessert, or you have to do your homework before you can go out and play. Or that time when you finally got the courage to study for your license and get your license, you went from not being able to drive yourself around and have that level of independence to being able to drive yourself, which gave you access to your friends, it gave you access to getting out of the house, to maybe getting a job. 

That transition from not being a driver to being a driver, huge mindset shift, right? Making your own money. Before, the only way you thought possible was that mom and dad paid, or whoever you’re living with, whoever raised you, like the responsible adults were paying, and then you got a babysitting job, or for me, I detasseled, I babysat. 

And then when I turned 16, I started working at the local grocery store. And then I was like, I’m in, I’m making my own money. I can buy my own snacks or treats. I can get my own clothing. Like it was a game changer for me. It just like blew my mind. Well, this recently happened to me with my coach. All of us have developed hundreds of belief systems that are very rule-based over the course of our lives. We were taught these confines, like based on the rules of your family structure, your parents, the people that raised you, there was a set of rules that you lived by. 

And as a kid, you’re like, oh, this is just it. This is the confined space I’m in. This is the container in which I live in. And they’re so ingrained in who we are and what we think and what we believe that we don’t even question them. We just accept them as like absolute truths of the world or absolute truths of our lives. And when we get older and we create more awareness and we start to interact with people that are outside of our family system or outside of our religious system or outside of our hometown. We go to college. 

That was a huge eye-opener for me, the way that people thought, the way that people lived, everything. Like their routines, their patterns, their habits, their clothing styles, the food that they ate, the way they managed their time. Like it was just a whole world opened to me because the only way I knew was how my family did life, my family’s opinions, my family’s belief systems, what they felt was important, their core values. 

So there’s a point in young adulthood somewhere along the line where we’re like, wait a minute, is this a rule by law? Like, is this actually true? Is this the only way to do this? Is this the only way to believe or this is the only way to approach life? Is this like a law that I have to follow? Is it a rule? It’s like a law of the universe. Is it a law of the people? Is it a law of the land? Is it a law of this nation? Is it a law of just my parents? Is it a rule that I created? I created this kind of law, this way of being, this way of thinking for myself? Or is it just something that you believed was true and it worked for you, it served you, but you never thought to consider an alternate truth, an alternate way of thinking? 

This just happened to me yet again. This is why I love the power of coaching and the power of personal development and growth. It never stops astounding me. It never stops diving deeper into the life I wanna create, the way I want to feel, the experiences I want to have, the mindset I want to develop, the approach that I wanna take for my life. 

My coach said these words out loud during our group coaching call, and it caught me off guard and it stopped me. It’s almost like I couldn’t hear whatever she said afterwards because I kept focusing on this sentence. Pleasure is not irresponsible. Pleasure, joy, delight, satisfaction, fulfillment, contentment, fill in the blank, happiness, feeling good, is not irresponsible. 

I said it to myself over and over again. It literally stopped me in my tracks. Wait, what? Pleasure is not irresponsible. You guys, I’ve been told my whole life, not blaming my family, it’s just that’s what they were told and that’s what they believed. And so they taught me to believe this too. That pleasure is irresponsible in so many ways. Work before play. You gotta get your work done before you can play. And that work is not pleasurable, but play is. It’s an all or none. 

You’re either working and you’re miserable and you’re doing hard things and you’re grinding or you’re playing. But playing before work, irresponsible. Shame on you, you gotta work hard. Work isn’t easy, but you gotta do the hard thing first and then you can go play. You have to earn your play, earn your pleasure. It’s irresponsible to do otherwise. You have to work hard to be paid, to be successful, to have the experiences you want in your life. 

Other kinds of pleasure. You shouldn’t indulge yourself. Don’t be selfish. That pleasure is trouble, or you’re going to get into trouble if you are having too much fun, if you’re experiencing too much pleasure, if you are playing before work, if you’re playing at work, while your work, during your work, irresponsible. 

Pleasure is selfish. You’re just trying to indulge yourself. All you care about is how you feel and not how others feel. It’s selfish. Pleasure is lazy. If the goal is just to be happy, to feel good, then you’re being lazy. You’re not being productive. You are indulging yourself in, I don’t know, sitting around eating grapes all day. I don’t know what, but the idea that if you’re experiencing pleasure. You’re somehow being irresponsible, in trouble, selfish, lazy, uncommitted. You’re not committed if you’re experiencing pleasure. 

If you love your job, you’re having fun in your job, but you’re not grinding, sweating, overworking, you’re not hustling, you’re not that committed. You’re not that committed. I mean, you might show up for work, but you’re not that committed. Pleasure equals goofing off, blowing off work. Do you see where I’m going here? This all or Honestly, it’s still blowing my mind. Pleasure equals recklessness, that you’re reckless. Especially as a female with strict parents, I was taught like, don’t be going out and having too much pleasure as a 16, 17, 18 year old. That would be very reckless of you, promiscuous of you, okay? 

Pleasure, irresponsibility. Do you see it? I don’t know if anybody else relates to this, but I’m guessing some of you do because I feel like so many educators are sold on this idea that if we’re feeling good, if we’re following what feels good, if we’re using feel good as a compass, as a guide, as a goal, that it’s irresponsible in some way. It feels like I’ve been told so many stories about this pleasure is irresponsible, pleasure is bad, that it was written in my DNA to avoid pleasure as much as possible. 

Like if I was slacking off, having fun, irresponsible, get back on track. Like pleasure means off track and working hard means on track. Does that land for anybody out there? So I have been unraveling this for myself. And of course, when I do it for me, I have to do it for me first so that I can uncover and kind of decode what’s going on here so that I can unravel it for you in terms of how this belief can impact you as a leader, how it infiltrates. It’s a lens through which you make decisions. It’s the lens through which you build your identity. 

It’s the lens through which you lead your teachers and coach them and mentor them. Imagine if you’re coming in thinking pleasure’s not allowed, it’s not okay, it’s reckless, it’s careless, it’s lazy, it’s selfish, it’s unproductive. And then you go into a classroom and teachers having fun kids are having fun, you’re going to think something’s wrong. It’s not in alignment with your belief. They should be working hard. Kids should be struggling. Kids should be doing the heavy lifting. They should be not happy. They should be working. 

A lot of people think this. A lot of parents think this. A lot of teachers think this. A lot of students believe this, that if it feels good, or it’s easy, or even though it’s hard, they’re having fun with the challenge, right? Like they’re doing, let’s say, a project-based learning project and it’s really hard. They’re having trouble figuring out. They’re getting frustrated. That still can be fun. It still can be pleasurable even when it’s hard. 

So I think back to my days in school leadership. And when I was a school leader, I absolutely did not believe that the goal was ever to feel good because it did not feel good most of the time. It felt like the goal on my plate, on my agenda was work as hard as possible, keep everybody safe, keep everybody happy, build relationships while also trying to build a culture. I want everybody to follow the rules because the district wants everybody to follow the rules. 

So the job is to follow the rules and have everybody follow the rules, whatever the mandates were, stay on top of all those demands, do what my boss tells me to do, even though they might change their mind 10 times, support the teachers and kind of buffer between district and teachers. So the district’s not upset, but the teachers aren’t upset. And so So I take all the heat, manage all the systems on campus, implement the district’s vision, even though it might not fully feel aligned for me, and try to get everybody on board even though I’m not on board, and then, oh, don’t forget, increase attendance, increase test scores so that you can get the gold star and we can clap for you. 

That’s what I thought the goal was. Never ever, ever could I have imagined one of my goals in school leadership was to have some fun, to feel good about myself, to feel good about my school, to feel good about the work in a way that brought me satisfaction, contentment, delight, fulfillment, pride. 

It just wasn’t on my radar, especially in the beginning years of my school leadership experience. And why is this? It’s because I didn’t have awareness. There was just no awareness to do otherwise. Because I didn’t even question my actions or the thoughts that were fueling them, right? The energy that was fueling my actions. 

It was just autopilot, go to the emotional gas station, fill up with whatever I could muster, which was just do it because… as I was told to, do it because I should, do it even though it doesn’t feel good, put that fuel in, which was like super low octane fuel, put it in my tank, exhausted, red-eyed, blurry, can’t really think straight, not very motivated, not very excited, and then go to work and try to make all the people happy, right? 

That’s how I was leading until I said to myself, there has to be a different way. This is miserable, I hate this, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a school leader. This cannot be possible. There are principals out there who are happy. I know it. I know of them personally. 

I saw principals in my district seemingly happy. I couldn’t figure out the code. And then I studied life coaching. I got certified with Dr. Martha Beck as a life coach. Then a few years later, I got certified as a life coach to the life coach school. And I hired a one-on-one coach, and I never let that coach go. I had her all throughout the rest of my years. I had her in the transition from being an educator into being a business owner. And we are still friends to this day. 

I studied under her for years because the power of coaching, when I figured it out, it transformed every experience of my life, personally and professionally. When I figured this stuff out, you guys, And I started questioning, wait, what are the rules here again? And what rules am I living by? And are they really the rules? Or are they just make-believe rules? Whose rules are these, right? 

When I first started school leadership, I dove head first into people pleasing, into making decisions and taking actions based on how everyone around me felt, how the teachers felt. I was really influenced by, were my teachers happy? Was my secretary happy? Were the parents happy? Were the kids behaving? If they were happy, they weren’t misbehaving, right? Misbehaviors was an indication of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, discontent, right? Was my boss happy with me? Was the district just running around, people-pleasing, not even checking in with myself? 

I was so worried about what the school board thought, what the local newspaper writers thought, because of course they have their two cents and they have blogs and they put their commentary in the opinion section. I was literally living by everybody else’s rules, everybody else’s level of happiness and contentment. And I was thinking that my job was to make the people happy, do a good job, be a good girl, be a good leader. 

I focused on looking like a good principal versus turning inward to develop myself into becoming a good principal. First piece of advice I got, fake it till you make it, right? That’s the first piece of advice I received. The problem I have with this advice is that you cannot fake the truth. It’s literally not in alignment. It doesn’t mesh. Truth, fake, they’re opposites. They don’t align. 

The frequency of truth always rises to the top. You know how the truth always comes out? Yes. And as a principal, you know this, because you can sense when a teacher isn’t being fully honest with you, really telling you what they think, or a student isn’t quite disclosing the entire truth of what happened in a situation, you can feel when something feels truthful and when it’s not. 

So trying to fake something that you don’t believe about yourself or you don’t believe in you, and you’re running around all day trying to please the people so that they won’t dislike you or they won’t judge you or they won’t criticize you, it’s not going to work in the long run. And you’re going to think you’re the problem, or you’re going to think the district is the problem. 

You’re either going to quit and think you’re not cut out for school leadership, or you’re gonna think that your position, your district is the problem, and you’re going to go to a different one and think that it’ll be better somewhere else. But if you bring along people-pleasing strategies and not tuning into what feels good for you, I promise you this, I guarantee this, I have seen it over and over again. You will feel the same way that you did in your old district you keep trying to chase feeling better from an external standpoint. 

I want to feel better about me, so I’m going to go somewhere and please the people over there because it might be easier to please them than it is to please the people over here. These people, they’re a little bit off. They’re a rocker. But if I go over there, that district looks pulled together until you find out they’re just as dysfunctional as the next district. 

The more you attempt to appease other people, the less you please yourself. This is why we disconnect from ourselves. We unplug from what we need or what we want. We go on robotic mode. We tune out. Here’s what’s happening. This is my experience. experience, we don’t feel good and it doesn’t feel good to feel good. So we tune that out. We numb it out. We ignore it. And we’re like, well, if I don’t feel good, I might as well try and go help other people feel good. 

Because we’re not happy, but we’re not admitting it to ourselves. We try to seek some reward, validation, acknowledgement externally from us, from other people. That’s why we carry on in this matter. That’s why we keep chasing it. We’ll tell ourselves, even though we’re miserable, we’re fatigued, we’re exhausted, we feel unsuccessful, We’re like, well, we’re doing it for the kids. It’s all about the kids. Or my boss wants me to. My boss needs me to. I want to be the best employee I can be. This is what the teachers need. I’ve got to protect the teachers. I’ve got to work hard for the teachers. They’re working hard. I need to work harder. 

But here’s what I find very alarming about this approach. Being a servant leader to the point of martyrdom is creating such dysfunction in our schools and in our lives. If we are not using our emotional compass to guide us and we’re not tuning in to what feels good and allowing ourselves the pleasure and delight in our work and in our lives, We may never come to the day where we feel fulfilled on a daily basis, delighted with our lives, pleased with our professional career, proud of ourselves, proud of the experiences that we had, proud of the person we became. 

This is the most alarming part to me. There are people who believe that it is irresponsible to feel good their entire lives. They never, their entire life, allow themselves to lead their lives and lead their schools, lead their careers from a place of delight and satisfaction. They never tune in. They just think the world is what it is, the experience is what it is, that they have no agency, they have no empowerment, they have no control. And from the day they start until the day they end, they did not have any amount of joy or minimal joy, pleasure. 

And here’s the thing. If you think that feeling good is irresponsible or trying to find ways to make the job more pleasurable is irresponsible, if you believe that, then what happens is you become the person in the room that’s disgruntled, the whiny, kind of tired, nothing’s working. No one wants to be around that. How can we inspire teachers, inspire students when we ourselves are not inspired? 

There are principals, there are teachers who go through their entire career believing that it’s irresponsible to tap into feeling good. I don’t want this for you. Just the thought of that stops me in my tracks. It makes me sick to my stomach. To think of somebody going through their entire school leadership experience as a servant to somebody else’s emotional whims, demands, needs, without once tuning in. 

My friends out there, I cannot, in good consciousness, know what I know about coaching, about these tools and strategies. I can’t not share them. I can’t not share what I’ve experienced with other school leaders. I can’t do it. 

Look, building a business, trying to break into education as a life and leadership coach, bringing life coaching tools into schools where people make fun of life coaches on the internet all day long, where people think it’s soft and weak and fake to talk about emotion when they think that you’re just fluffy and that it has no merit. 

This is hard work that I’m doing. I’m literally a pioneer forging my way into schools, one principal at a time, helping them feel a little bit better about themselves, a lot better about their work, helping teachers feel better, creating better cultures. I’m doing this one leader, one school at a time. This isn’t easy. I could go back and I could go be a principal. I could, but it won’t allow me. The calling won’t allow me. You can’t not know this. I will have this podcast until podcasts aren’t allowed in the world. I will keep sharing these concepts with you until you’re ready to come into the world of the empowered principal, into EPC, and to see that it’s working. 

For hundreds of school principals, this work changes lives. Your superpower, your empowerment is your ability to feel good, your ability to experience pleasure, your ability to tune into the compass that’s guiding you. Does it feel good or not? It’s very easy. If it feels good, keep going. If it’s a little crunchy and it doesn’t feel good, let’s make it feel better. It is not. You’re responsible to listen to the compass within you that guides you, that aligns you, that feels good. 

What feels good matters. It’s guiding you to the solutions. It’s the most responsible thing you can do for yourself, for your teachers, for your students. When something doesn’t feel right, that’s an invitation to stand up for what does feel right. When something doesn’t feel good, It’s an invitation to figure out what part doesn’t feel good specifically, and then make that better. 

The empowered principle rules on feeling good and pleasure is all about flipping the myth of irresponsible pleasure, that pleasure is irresponsible. The list that I gave you earlier, I flip it on its head. Instead of pleasure being trouble, that you’re in trouble, that it is a trouble, it’s a struggle, it’s a problem, if there’s a negative consequence waiting for you when you get out of pleasure, I want you to consider that pleasure is the benefit. It’s the reward. It’s the solution. It’s not trouble. It’s not the problem. It’s the solution. 

That instead of pleasure being selfish, it’s actually selfless. Because teachers, students, parents, principal, district leaders, they want to work with principals and district leaders who are pleasurable to be around, who are fun, who are engaging. This is benevolent action that you’re taking. Pleasure is not lazy. 

Think about when you’re in a state of pleasure, you’re in a state of feeling good, you’re activated, you’re interesting, you’re attentive, you’re energetic, you’re industrious, you’re going for it, you’re productive. It’s the opposite of lazy. Pleasure is the opposite of uncommitted. It’s being committed. When you feel good about something, you feel passionate. You’re committed, you’re guided, you’re convicted, you’re decisive. 

Pleasure is not goofing off. Pleasure is actually like being engaged, getting to work, solving problems, making progress. Pleasure is not reckless. It’s mindfulness, thoughtfulness, considerate, intentional. Pleasure is not irresponsible. It is responsible. It is the ability to respond. It is responding to your needs, to the needs of your school. 

I invite you into this work. I invite you in to the world of the empowered principle. We’re changing the rules. We’re changing how it feels. We’re changing our approach. There are two ways to work with me right now. You can wait until 2025 when the doors open again for EPC, or you can work with me one-on-one. 

The choice is up to you. The doors for EPC will be opening in 2025, or you can start working with me today, right now, as a one-on-one client. Or what’s really fun is that when you sign up as a one-on-one client, you get access into EPC as part of your one-on-one package. It’s a bonus that I give to my one-on-one clients. 

You can start now as a one-on-one, and you can join EPC when the doors reopen. How amazing is that? Your pleasure feeling good is not irresponsible. Contemplate this. See how this is true. Try it on, give it a go, give it a chance to work for you. And I’ll talk to you guys next week. Have an amazing week. Take good care of yourselves. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | The Feel Good Goal

Do you ever feel like you’re constantly doing, doing, doing as a school leader? You have an endless to-do list, both in your professional and personal life, and you’re always thinking about what needs to be done next. But what if the key to effective leadership isn’t about doing more, but about how you feel while you’re doing it?

Leaders are often obsessed with “doing,” and this approach comes with a certain kind of hustling or forcing energy. People forcefully create results in their lives all the time, but is that the way you want the experience of school leadership to feel? 

Join me this week as I explore the concept of “feel good goals” and how balancing masculine and feminine energy can help you create a more fulfilling and impactful leadership experience. I also share a powerful insight from a coaching conversation I had with a client where she realized that by shifting her focus from what teachers are doing to how they are feeling, she could transform her approach to instructional leadership.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why focusing on “doing” can lead to feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion as a school leader.
  • How balancing masculine and feminine energy can fuel your actions with clarity, confidence, and sufficiency.
  • The power of asking teachers how they’re feeling instead of what they’re doing during observations and evaluations.
  • Why allowing yourself to focus on what feels good is key to leading change and shifting your leadership approach.
  • What happens when you look at your goals through the lens of certainty, calm, and alignment.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 359. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to this week’s podcast. So happy to be here with you today. And for those of you who are new, welcome. We are thrilled to have you here. This is one of my favorite places to be with all of you. Besides EPC, of course, besides my one-on-one clients, this is also one of my favorites, because we get to have real conversations about how it feels to be a school leader, and that’s what this is all about. And today’s episode is going to be all about how it feels to be a school leader and how you want it to feel as a school leader.

I was talking with a client this week, and she was telling me how amazing her teacher pre- and post-conference meetings were going. So she’s been doing teacher evaluations and observation. She’s having the pre-meetings. She’s having the post-meetings. And she said, you know, through our last two years of coaching, the power of coaching has no bounds. She said, I’ve realized that the goal is to feel good, and you’ve taught me that. The goal is to feel good, to feel good about myself, to feel sufficient in who I am as a leader, to feel good about my school and my campus.

And she said, I was thinking about this in terms of teacher observations. In the past, I have focused on what they are doing, the actions they are taking. I would ask them questions. How are you doing? What are you doing that’s working? What do you think you did that was effective? What do you think you need to do next?

And I’m listening to her share this, and it’s all about doing. We think about doing, we think about what we’ve done, we think about what we’re going to do next.

We get up in the morning, we have a to-do list, we’re thinking about it as we’re doing morning routine, we think about it while we’re driving, we think about what we’re going to do when we get there, and then we start doing, and then we get interrupted from the doing, and then we get frustrated that we’re interrupted, and then we get back on track and we’re doing the things, and then at the end of the day, we think about what we didn’t do, and we make a list of what still needs to be done, and then we drive home and we think about that to-do list, and then we go home and we do.

We make dinner, we hang out with our friends, family, help the kids with the homework, get the baths, get the routines, they go to bed, and then we’re thinking about the doing for the next day.

We are obsessed with doing. It’s all about the action. We’re thinking about the doing. And that thought process, that mindset, that approach to school leadership, it comes with a certain kind of energy. Trying to create change, work, grinding, hustling, forcing, manipulating. 

And when I mean manipulated, I don’t mean with ill intent. I mean trying to handle something, manage it, control it, maneuver it, manipulate like it, make it malleable and try to shape it and form it into the outcome word we desire. There’s a lot of forcefulness or trying to control intention behind this type of doing.

I think of it as Olivia Pope energy. It’s handled, it’s done, no problem, I’ve got this, which is not a bad energy. I loved this character, by the way. So for those of you who are younger than me, this was a show called Scandal with Kerry Washington as the actor. 

She portrayed a very powerful, strong, boss, badass woman named Olivia Pope. And I loved this character. I watched this series not once, but twice all the way through. Her confidence, her courage, her boldness, her energy, her style. Oh my God, her style.

I have a funny story to tell you. I actually dressed up as Olivia Pope for Halloween while I was a principal at school. And I have to tell you this, even better yet, I’ll never forget this day. I dressed up as Olivia Pope. I had the perfect dress, perfect outfit. I dressed up and everyone’s like, who are you? And when I told the adults, they were like, oh my gosh. Yes, absolutely.

It was a Monday. We used to do Leopard Launch,  which was the entire school would gather outside and we would celebrate the kids.

We would do our school song, our school spirit or chant. We would do all of our little routine for the week. We had announced Leopard Spot winners. We would give announcements for the week, just a big celebration of the entire school and the parents would all stand around awake. We did it first thing in the morning. 

It was a Monday morning. I’m in my Olivia Pope. I’m getting the comments. Thank you so much. The kids did their little we called it the monster bash where we did dances to music. It was so fun after that. I held a principal’s coffee. I walk into the multi. This is a total side note guys But it’s fun story I walk into the multi and I’m feeling like a boss like just the clothing you wear sometimes can make you feel Like a different energy a different person I’m walking in, I’m hosting this principal’s coffee, and I’m a few years in, so I’m not brand new.

This is probably my fourth, fifth, sixth year sometime. And I had a parent who was not having it with me. They were a hater. It was pretty ugly, but it was that day that that person verbally attacked me in the multipurpose room with hundreds of parents watching on Halloween day in my Olivia Pope outfit.  I  was so glad that I chose that outfit because there was something in me that stood strong, that I felt my nervous system reacting. 

I could feel the visceral reaction. My heart was pounding. My blood was boiling. Like my face was probably flushed. I could feel it in my throat. I could feel all the feels, but I had this sense of calmness and strength and courage that I just, I needed, I needed in that moment, I was able to handle myself externally and to see that  I was okay, that I was going to be okay, that I could handle that moment.

It was a very Olivia Pope moment. So I use Olivia Pope energy because one, I think women can relate to it. Two, another term for this kind of energy is called masculine energy. It has nothing to do with being male or female. It has to do with the type of energy. It’s just a label. It’s can be in males or in females.

And I will say that there are many leaders in masculine energy because the energy is confident, courage, bold, courageous, it’s kind of like you’re fierce, you go for it, you’re direct, you try to create an outcome with sheer force, with sheer hard work and grit and grind.  So  we’re sold as women or men that the ideal approach to leadership is this.

This boss energy, this badass energy, this fixer, it’s done kind of Olivia Pope energy. Get it done. Right?  And look, I want to say outright, like, this is not bad energy. There’s not good energy or bad energy. There’s not a right way or a wrong way to approach school leadership. And I think of it as like in the movies, characters, they tend to have like one character trait.

So in the case of Olivia Pope, we see this character being courageous and brave and bold and making these big decisions and taking big risks and getting in danger and, you know, almost not sure how she’s going to get out of it, but she always gets out of it. She’s like the MacGyver of women. And but what we don’t see is that she always wakes up ready to go looking sharp in her perfect outfit perfect hair looking amazing feeling good the next day taking on the next big battle like there isn’t a ton of representation for the humanness of the experience right being so exhausted mentally physically emotionally getting the beat down like they show moments of that but because it’s a show it’s a movie or a it’s a series.

There’s always the main character triumphs, they overcome, and we want that when we’re watching it, that’s a part of the joy of the show, right? But what we don’t see is where it doesn’t work out in the end, or where the exhaustion wins out, or something happens and it knocks her to her knees, and she’s just down and out for a week, or she’s having a weekend where she’s in bed depressed, we don’t see that.

We see her getting magically recharged and is up for the next day. So we get into leadership and think, Oh, we should be able to come in with this big leadership energy and solve things like a boss and have everyone follow our plan and do what they need us to do and that it doesn’t impact us. 

To the point that we’re physically mentally emotionally exhausted or wiped out. We’re kind of sold this machine approach or robotic approach to leadership, right? And that’s where I feel masculine energy. When people speak of masculine energy, that’s what it is. It’s just a term that’s applied to the type of fuel driving our actions. It’s a mindset, an approach that we believe is the right way or the best way.

And here’s the thing about it. I have leveraged masculine energy most of my life. As a little girl, I was pretty feminine, but I was the firstborn and I was raised to be masculine in getting accolades and accomplishments, learning to play the violin, being in choir, being in orchestra, being in band, getting good grades. I was the drum major my senior year in marching band. Going to college, I learned how to leverage masculine energy in a way that really worked for me. I was like, oh, this feels powerful, this feels strong, I’m successful, I’m creating results.

So masculine energy is an absolutely necessary part of school leadership, and it works a lot of the time. It also can result, if we aren’t conscious or aware, it can create results without fulfillment. We think that we should always be strong, be resilient, big, bold energy, and we associate this kind of energy with title, status, power, influence. Like I’m the leader, I have a title. It’s my responsibility. That’s what leaders do. That’s how we should be. It’s who we should be. It’s how we should act.

But the only problem with this approach is when it doesn’t feel good. When you’re playing the part or being the part, but you’re not feeling the part. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel aligned for you. You come in and you’re doing, doing, doing, whether that’s driven by perfection or whether it’s driven by comparison, or whether it’s driven by fear of what other people’s opinions, or what your boss might say, or fear of getting fired, or fear of getting, you know, haters, fear of getting negative feedback, or public scrutiny. When it’s that kind of masculine energy, you’re pretending. 

It’s not really who you are. You’re pretending to be that, and it doesn’t feel aligned. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not invigorating. It’s depleting. It’s exhausting. It’s like getting a beat down, and then getting up and coming back in the ring and getting beat up over and over again by yourself or others, right?

When masculine energy is not working for you, it makes you feel inadequate and exhausted and insufficient. There is a place for doing because we cannot create outcomes without doing. We can’t sit here and meditate all day and visualize a happy school and sit in our comfy chair for eight hours and it magically happens. We can’t just be, exist, without doing. But there’s an energy that fuels the doing. So it’s about how you’re feeling when you’re doing what you’re doing and who you’re being when you’re doing what you’re doing.

So there’s the forceful, must do, have to, urgent, fearful, controlling, perfectionism, energy of doing things. And then there is a clarity, centered, purposeful, intentional, calm, desire, enjoyment, prioritized, confident, assured, done is better than perfect energy, where you are centered and calm and clear and confident and trusting that the action you’re taking is enough because it feels good, it feels aligned, it feels sufficient. You’re not rushing through your to-do list to prove to yourself that you’re sufficient. You’re walking insufficiency, fueling yourself doing the things.

So you can choose to be forceful and have this intense controlling octane of fuel, which is the masculine. I’ve got to control title, power, status, and yet the urge to control, to win, to have it all. It’s an all or none thinking if you’re only using that fuel. Or you can choose a more calm and clear and centered and assured trusting octane of fuel, which is the feminine, the trusting, the faith, the patience, the internal strength.

If you think about it, people who are spending all of their energy trying to control externally, trying to control other people, trying to control outcomes, trying to control what the community thinks, what their boss thinks, what their teachers are doing, what their students are doing and they can’t handle if it doesn’t go exactly the way they want it to because of the way it makes them look or feel, those are very fragile leaders. 

It ‘s like, I’m trying to keep all the plates spinning and as long as I keep all the plates spinning and I have control over these people and control over that person and control over what this person thinks and I’m doing, and I’m doing, doing, doing, and I’m looking the part, as long as all the plates keep spinning, I’m good. 

But you’re running around, spinning all the plates, making sure nothing falls, because if one plate falls, you shatter. Your identity shatters, your emotional state shatters, your confidence shatters, versus when there’s an internal strength where there is alignment and self-trust, self-control, self-maturity, self-ability to reflect.

It’s an internal strength, an internal ability and capacity to manage your thoughts, to feel your feelings without exposing them and reacting to them and projecting them onto other people. Feminine energy is about internal strength, and then the masculine energy is taking that internal strength out into the external part of you.

So the key to balancing this feminine and masculine energy, this forcing, controlling, doing, I call it doing energy and being energy. When you’re being versus what you’re doing, the key to this balance is by what feels good for you. I call these feel-good goals. The way to reach a goal is, is this feeling good? Is it not feeling good? Does this approach feel good? Does it feel aligned or does it not? I take action, this is my goal. I take masculine action, massive action, I do through the lens of being, who I am, through the lens of feminine energy.

So I look at what I want to accomplish and the tasks and the actions I need to take and do, but through the lens of certainty, calm, trust, faith, clarity, alignment. And when I do that, the actions are fueled with a different kind of octane, with sufficiency, with safety, with certainty, with trust, with clarity, with constraint, because I don’t have to get 200 things done to feel sufficient.

I can do the three things that are my priority and feel sufficient. Knowing there’s more to do, but not needing to do it right now for fear that my reputation will get broken and shattered or my feelings will get shattered or somebody’s opinion of me will get shattered.

So the feel-good approach is about focusing on what feels good, using it as a compass, makes it so simple. So full circle, back to the conversation I had with my client with her teacher observations, she shifted the way she asked the questions. She didn’t need another program. She didn’t need another evaluation system. She simply shifted the questions from what are you doing to how are you feeling? What felt good about the lesson? Where did you feel you were in flow? What part of the lesson felt amazing for you? What are you most proud of? What do you think your kids were feeling? When were they feeling good? I noticed this. Your kids were really feeling good at this part of it. They really did a nice job here. What felt good?

When you ask a teacher how they’re feeling and you make the goal to feel good is the path. That means you’re on track. If it feels good, you’re on track. If it’s feeling a little crunchy, if it’s not feeling really good, that isn’t a problem. That’s just an indication that we want to look at that aspect of our teaching and ask ourselves what would make it feel good? 

If that part, if the transition between a whole group to individual work or a whole group to partner work or whatever the transition is, if that transition felt a little crunchy, we just look at the transition part of the lesson. We don’t need to revamp the whole lesson or change who we are as a human being or as a teacher. What about that transition didn’t work? Was it how you handed out papers? Was it how they selected partners? Was it how they walked back to their desk? Was it they forgot to get their pencils? What little specific thing felt a little crunchy there? And what would feel good? Oh, okay, let me add that in, or let me just shift that a little bit.

Asking people how they feel versus what they did puts them inside of their bodies instead of in their mind thinking outside of their body. And here’s what’s so fascinating about this work. When you ask people what felt good, they actually already know. 

And what you’re doing when you ask the question is you’re empowering teachers to go internal, to think for themselves. What did feel good to me? I have to check in with myself. Versus teachers who, oh my gosh, they’re gonna ask me what I did and I’m gonna have to come in with defense plan, a protection plan to show them, here’s my strategy, here’s what didn’t work, here’s what I didn’t do, here’s what I’m gonna do. It’s not about what they’re doing as much as it is about the fuel driving the doing, who they’re being while they’re doing it, the energy they’re fueling their decisions and actions by.

So the feel-good approach, the goal is to feel good, to feel good as a leader, and for teachers to feel good as a teacher, so that students can feel good as students. And then it becomes very clear. It rises up to the surface and their insights change. It shifts because they’re not focusing on the doing as much as they’re focusing on the feeling. This feels good. This doesn’t. Let’s keep this. Let’s shift that. It makes being an instructional leader so much more simple, because you aren’t trying to be the expert, the guru. 

You don’t have to bang your head about what should their goal be, and how should they fix it, and what should I suggest. You’re asking them what feels good to you and what doesn’t. That’s your goal. The little crunchy part there that you need to change, that’s the goal, pure and simple.

Now, where the work comes in for you is allowing yourself to focus on what feels good and what doesn’t feel good, and making what doesn’t feel good feel good. That’s what we talk about in EPC. So you can go out right now, and you can start asking what feels good to teachers. You can apply that right now. But where it’s going to get a little crunchy for you is when it comes back to you. 

And if your capacity to lead this change in the way that you engage in instructional leadership, moving from doing to being and feeling, Your capacity to lead this change or this shift is going to work only to the capacity at which you’re doing it internally for yourself. That’s what EPC supports you in.

It’s gonna feel very counterintuitive. Your brain is going to be like, what are you doing? We’re not working hard enough. We’re not spending enough time on this. We’re not getting our to-do list done. You are so failing in all of the ways. Danger, danger. That is where we shift our energy, our leadership energy, our focus, and our priority from masculine down to the feminine versus feminine to the masculine. 

So it’s not about doing enough to become somebody, it’s about becoming that person now, being the person now, feeling it now, and then you do. It’s a flip. And it’s kind of a mind blip because it’s not how we’re trained to think. It’s not how we’re trained to do. It’s not the approach that we were told works.

So you can forcefully create results in your life. People do it all the time. But is that the way you want the experience of school leadership to feel? I have found that in my experience, the feel-good goals, they’re so much better. They feel so much better. 

They work better. It’s like you’ve tapped into a success formula that doesn’t even make sense. Because it feels easier, it feels better. It feels like you’re in flow and just so much good is happening. And you’re not overexerting, overworking, overscheduling.

Give it a try, the feel good goal, and join EPC when we open the doors in 2025, I can’t wait to meet you. Happy, happy Tuesday, have a great week and we’ll talk to you next week. Take good care, bye. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Save Time and Money on Substitute Teacher Recruitment with Nicola Soares

Are you struggling to find reliable substitute teachers for your school? Do you feel overwhelmed trying to cover classes and manage teacher absences? What if there was a solution that could take the stress out of securing substitutes and create a win-win-win situation for students, teachers, and administrators?

In this episode, I’m joined by Nicola Soares, president of Kelly Education: a company that specializes in providing talent services to school districts across the United States. With a background as a public school social studies teacher, Nicola understands the challenges that principals face when it comes to finding qualified substitute teachers. She’s here to debunk the myth that there’s a shortage of high-quality substitute teachers who want to work for your school.

Join us to discover how partnering with a service like Kelly Education can help you build a community of long-term and short-term substitute teachers who are passionate about empowering students and supporting your school’s mission. You’ll hear why keeping your classes covered doesn’t need to be a burden, the importance of shifting your mindset around substitute teachers, and how Kelly Education’s approach will save you time, money, and stress.

 

The Empowered Principal® Collaborative is my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why the teacher shortage is a national crisis and how it impacts student achievement.
  • How partnering with a talent service can save your school time and money on recruiting substitutes.
  • Why principals must shift their mindset about substitutes and view them as valuable partners in empowering students.
  • The hidden costs of managing teacher absences and how a comprehensive substitute program can help reduce them.
  • Why it’s important to pay substitutes a salary commensurate with their credentials and experience.
  • How Kelly Education is able to attract and retain high-quality substitute teachers, even in challenging areas.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 358. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Hello, Empowered Principals, welcome to today’s podcast. I have a very special guest. Her name is Nicola Soares. She works with a company called Kelly Education Services, and I love that because that is my last name. And we’re both in the field of education, but I actually met Nicola through an e-mail. I hadn’t met her in person before, but I had the privilege of meeting her through an e-mail thread and I loved their services.

I loved their approach and I want you to learn more about them and what they do so that if you are in any assistance and needing assistance, especially in the topic that we’re about to talk about today, which I think will be very appealing to many school leaders across the nation and that is of securing substitutes and doing it in a way that is reducing stress for not just teachers but for you, the school leaders, district leaders. We know that we have a problem. We have been trying to solve it on our own and Kelly Services is providing an approach that is just making it easier for everybody involved, including the subs. Imagine that. It’s a triple win.

So, Nicola, welcome to the pod. I’ll let you introduce yourself and tell a little bit more about your company and your services and what you do to support school leaders.

Nicola: Thank you, Angela, for having me on today. It’s such an honor and the work that you do, especially some of the topics that you cover are near and dear to my heart. So I am Nicola Soares. I’m the president of Kelly Education. I’ve been with Kelly Services, our parent company, for about 12 years. I did start my career as a public school social studies teacher. Wouldn’t that be fun to teach government in US history today? We have lots to talk about. And it really has been a labor of love as myself and our organization, as we’ve built out our services to be completely supportive of our school districts in the way of talent services. The majority of what we do is actually placing substitute teachers throughout the US and actually in about 40 states.

In addition to that, pediatric therapy services, so physical speech, occupational therapy, executive search services for university executive level positions, and also public K-12 school superintendents as well. So we know a little bit about everything that education is facing today. And just to kind of give you a little bit of our scale in 40 states, especially with substitute teachers, K-12, we placed about five and a half million assignments across the U.S. last year.

So we know the teacher shortage is alive and well, and certainly it started well before the pandemic. And I would characterize the situation here in the U.S. as a national crisis. So when we don’t have teachers in the classroom, to me, that’s the cornerstone of everything in terms of success for society and as we move forward as a broader, larger community. So that’s me in a nutshell of what we do with our services as we deploy them every single day.

Angela: This is a dream come true. When I was a principal, so that was from 2010 to 2016 before I promoted up to the district level, there was a shortage then. Post-pandemic, I’m sure, has been significantly impacted, but even prior, I feel like substitute teachers were very hard to come by. And back in the day, I would be lying in bed waiting for that 5:30 a.m. phone call to give me the list of who I had subs for and who wasn’t covered and basically then the baton passed to me and I had to figure how to cover that class, which meant either I was subbing, or I had to pull the instructional coach or a specialist, or the kids got split if there were no other, you know, certified humans to be able to do that job.

And as you just said, really, it is the cornerstone. And what happens is that it’s the kids that are impacted the most. And we feel the stress, teachers feel the stress, the subs are feeling the stress. Of course, the kids are feeling the stress and your services coming in and just providing some solutions and a bridge between the schools and the people who want to help support schools in a substitute position.

That feels like a miracle. So I love to hear that this is out there and available. And it’s been for quite, you said it’s been going on for a long time. You’ve been with the company with 12 years.  And so tell us more.  About how it works like, I’m a principal or I’m a district leader and I’m like, wow, this is the first time I’ve ever hearing of Kelly education. What tell me the process.

Nicola: Yeah, so great question. So I think there are two value propositions here for the clients that we serve. Our end users, which are teachers, and then obviously benefiting the student. But the other value proposition is really about the talent that we place. So let me start with clients. 

So our biggest stakeholder is the building principal and you’re right. I mean, the way you characterize it starts at 4: 35 o’clock, you know, you’re getting those calls or report school secretaries having to handle the placements of that. A service like ours is an end to end program. So think of us.

Eliminating all of that administrative burden. So from the idea of sourcing and recruiting qualified candidates, and I would tell you over those 40 states, every state has a different set of credentialing criteria. So you need to make sure that you have at least the minimum  specification of what that requirement of the job description of the substitute teacher is going to be.

So there’s a whole process, you’re sourcing, you’re recruiting, engaging with candidates, and then you’re onboarding them into. Our employment because there are employees and so if you can imagine, especially for those where maybe the credentials are less where someone has never even been inside of a classroom.

I mean, imagine that walking into a middle school classroom and never  there’s a lot of training that happens pre-hire. And then post hire. So on average, most of our employees are getting at least a minimum of four hours of comprehensive training, everything from, you know, best practices, classroom management, tips and techniques.

And then of course, safety and security or what to do if a child has a certain situation, all of that good stuff. So in that process too, as part of our program, we’re also managing those employees on assignment, supporting them with payroll and questions too. Their next assignments, so a program like ours is very technology driven.

I always the analogy I give. It’s almost similar to uber, you know, where you’re matching the talent  assignment opportunities, but then you’ve got this entire workforce. My workforce, it’s also supporting to make sure that placements are met. Last minute, especially with last minute illnesses at 5 o’clock in the morning to make sure that we’re able to do our job in real time.

So the repeat the rinse and repeat of it is also to make sure that those qualified talent folks, you know, that are taking assignments on a very regular basis within 180 days. So, and as part of the benefit of.  A client program, they also get really great reporting, very detailed reporting around teacher absenteeism.

And I would tell you, there’s a huge correlation. Hopefully, we can talk a little bit about that  in terms of teacher absenteeism in terms of overall, you know, I would say engagement of a public school district in terms of employee sentiment and how they feel about working there. 

Angela: So,  yeah, yes, I actually really want to dive into that. Because the angle that I would like to bring into education is that at the bottom line, Nicola, I feel like it’s how people feel. Absolutely. It’s like emotion drives decisions and actions. And what I hear you saying is that there is a direct correlation and I’m sure your company has stats on this for the people who need that level of information and data, but.

There’s a correlation between absenteeism and how people feel about themselves, about their contribution, about their ability to teach, about how their district feels about them, their site leader, how they feel treated by parents and students and colleagues and their boss. Like so much of that. And I also think about how the substitutes feel coming to a school where the staff doesn’t feel good versus like coming and wanting to sub in a school where people feel good about themselves and teaching and their colleagues and their bosses and their, you know, like the contribution in their identity as a teacher.

So. I would love for you to share your perspective on like how subs feel and their feedback to you. And one of the myths I’m trying to debunk is that there are people out there who want to be subs. 

Nicola: 100%. Yes. 

Angela: There is an abundance of people who care and want to be good subs and they want to come and support your school. And they actually, they don’t want full time jobs. They’re choosing subs for the flexibility or for the. You know, the dynamicness of, you know, being a sub and having something different every day and not having all the responsibilities as a full time teacher. So there are people available for subs. And  I’m not saying you don’t have to go through a sub shortage, but I do think that we can. Offer a perspective or a mindset shift that might feel better about subs in general, and then how we make subs feel based on how our culture is at our site.

Nicola:  So in Kelly, we know being a global workforce solutions organization, we do a lot of research, especially around talent in terms of how they want to work and the ways that they want to work.

And so we call folks, and I think substitute teachers are the ultimate sort of gig workers, but not to give that kind of like, sort of that cultural kind of term vernacular. But when you think about it, Kelly calls ’em work life designers and what we have discovered, especially coming outta the pandemic where people were very burnt out with jobs and going in, you know, really having a sort of a step back of their lives of how do they want work to fit into their lives.

Substitute teaching, I think, is a great opportunity where people can design their income. The way that they want that to sort of flow. So you might have somebody as an example where you’ve got somebody younger, maybe in their late twenties, who have just launched their real estate career, but as they’re launching their real estate career, they also need that income coming in.

What better way to work two, three days a week in their child’s elementary school. A second example that we discovered is that many healthcare professionals. Who were burnt out from the pandemic for all the pandemic reasons that we know, might have been in the hospital system, like an RN, as an example, or a physician’s assistant. 

They have a four year degree that’s usually a STEM degree. Those credentials transfer very nicely into teaching physical science or biology, or maybe even special education. And the fact that they were so burnt out, they’re still very purpose driven professionals. What better way to explore and discover another career.

Through substitute teaching, which is, I believe that many of our folks that do want to do it, they do nurture children, they do care about being a part of that whole developmental process. So these are some of the examples. What is remarkable to me when I first started my position, we had tons of substitute teachers and we didn’t have a teacher vacancy crisis that was sort of going on.

Further as we’ve gone in the last decade or so, we know the challenges of education in terms of expectations from parents, lower salaries compared to other industry professionals coming out. Let’s talk about the economic college debt that many of our students have incurred now to become a teacher. One out of, I believe, seven, I think, on average, it’s 57, 000 of college debt.

One out of seven owes about  105, 000. Probably in those states where they’re required to have an undergrad and a master’s degree. That is just Incredibly crippling. And so when we think about students in their undergraduate degrees, who are now not really pursuing an education degree because really can’t afford it, maybe in life, these are some of the dynamics that we do see.

And then the pandemic just only exacerbated a lot of the challenges that our schools have found. So, coupled with that, all of the geopolitical pressure that we see, low salaries, really tough circumstances. Active shooter threats increasing. It’s just this incredible, horrific challenge that educators are facing today.

So our public school districts, especially instructional leadership, building principals, superintendents have to really think about and re-event it. I think a different employee value proposition, and then also with the subject of substitute teachers, understanding, recognizing that they’re part of the talent supply chain.

Now, and in our data, I would share Angela that probably with long term assignments. Or vacancies that public school districts cannot fill. They’re using long term substitute teachers with who are very qualified credentials to meet that need 20% or so on average.

Angela: So I can believe that totally.

Nicola: Yeah, so it’s been a fascinating sort of study and just watching of how we support and improve, I think, the situation, but I do think that, you know, it has come very much to the public view that we do have an issue with our national teacher shortage crisis, as I call it.

Angela: Yes. And what that makes me think of is, it’s redefining the role of a substitute teacher as an essential component of your employees. Like it is a necessary required essential component. And I’m just going to say it cause I just say it like it is on this podcast, but I feel like perhaps sometimes in the past perspective have been like. Oh, that’s a sub they don’t mean to dismiss, but on the priority list of all of the demands, it tends to be lower.

It’s like, if somebody else can just like give them their folder and give them their king, get them to their room. Like it’s okay. I’ve checked my box that classrooms covered versus remembering that one. To me, we are in the business of human development. This is a human experience we’re having, not just for students.

It is an experience that we’re having as the adults on campus and that the experience of your substitute teacher matters just as much as the onboarding experience of a new hired teacher matters. And we want to keep in mind that. Subs who feel welcomed and feel good and feel a integrated, appreciated part of the staff are going to be much more likely to come back because it feels good to be there.

Nicola: Yeah, great insight again. So one of the things that we realized very quickly because of the shortage, how could we make our program a little bit more beneficial? So a couple different things. Helping to find great talent so that people could hire great teachers second, but also the point that you’re making substitute teachers to be a part of a more inclusive community, knowing that they’re becoming more of an essential worker, as I called it coming out of the pandemic has been interesting.

So we changed some things in our program and part of the value proposition that we do give our clients. If you employ substitute teachers, employ them from the opportunity that you get to experience different qualified talent to come into the classroom. And as part of their opportunity, they get to hire the folks right out of our program. 

We found that if a substitute teacher was hired into a full time position in the district, and they had been at the school, they had been at the district for a year or two, what have you, it was less attrition. The fact that they would have the opportunity to be extremely successful because they had built relationships, they knew the students and parents and had those relationships. So we were really excited to be a part of that, because I do think there are different ways and means of sourcing and recruiting for great talent. But in some ways, it’s not like student teaching, but it does give them sort of an internship experience. Maybe it’s a better way to say it. And then get hired as to be a part of that full time permanent community.

Angela: Yes, I hope people heard that because one of the biggest challenges or stress points that I hear next to behavior management, I would say that’s tops the list is teacher shortage and trying to cover for subs and the principal being so, and I know this intimately personally, like being so stressed because, you know, Almost every day there’s going to be a demand and ask a request for you to be in a classroom teaching, which I absolutely loved, but it almost, you felt like you weren’t getting to your own job.

You didn’t feel like you were leading because you were busy teaching, even though you were modeling what it’s like to be a team player. But at the end of the day, a principal has a set of tasks to complete and do. If you’re teaching, you’re not doing that. Right. So. This is a service that leverages so much more than just checking the box of having a credential teacher in a classroom.

This makes the whole system work more smoothly. I think of it like there’s currencies that we leverage as school leaders, as school principals, you can leverage time where you take the time yourself to go and teach that class. And then you work late hours and you pull the lever of time or you can pull the lever of like Income finances, you know, funding, you can pull that lever and get a service like this, where they pay you or the district or however it works pays you.

And then what you’re doing is saying in exchange for this financial, you know, investment. We’re going to provide you peace of mind knowing you have certified trained teachers who are coming in who have had actual training to know how to step into a classroom to actually be a sub and own that role with confidence and pride and go into a school so that there’s peace of mind for students

The cop, you’re the members of that team that grade level or department. The parents feel good knowing this is a familiar face. Tell us more about that aspect of it from your company’s angle i’m just thinking like. I as a principal have a problem and you have a beautiful solution but I think people are afraid to pull the lever. They’re like I’m afraid to invest the money or I’m afraid.

That it’s going to actually take more time and I should just do it myself. There will be like some challenges met, like mind obstacles, thought obstacles, I call them in the way of like considering the service. 

Nicola: Yeah. So, you know, in partnership, the one thing that we do upfront is always to sort of do an analysis. And it’s always really interesting of what people think, especially. From a cost perspective, they don’t realize there’s a lot of hidden costs associated with the hiring of substitute teachers, or even recruiting full time teachers. Many of the HR departments in our public school districts are incredibly small.

Overwhelmed don’t really have the bandwidth in the scope of reach and services. And so you think about also, there’s a lot of reactionary costs that spent. So you think about people don’t consider associated with the hiring of people like advertising and recruitment and marketing and. I mean, all of that, right?

So, to be able to really assess what the true costs are of a program like ours can really, I think, move in very quickly in terms of what actually are all those true hidden costs. If we do our job well over time, we actually save a district. Money over time, and that’s just more efficient efficiencies around recruiting being able to place.

We see absenteeism sort of going down a little bit. I mean, when you think about absenteeism on the national average of teachers, it’s far more higher than the private sector. I think private sector last that I saw was about 6%. Of employees not coming to work every day, teachers right now can be anywhere in any day, 8, 10, maybe even 12% on a given day.

So when we think about the impact to student achievement over time, there’s a lot of other residual things that take place there as well. So like a program like ours to be truly effective, it really means that we really help a public school district manage their. Teacher absenteeism in terms of placing a substitute teachers district wide, not just maybe on a per building basis.

The other considerations to have as well, too, is that in terms of how they pay their substitute teachers for those that do, are servicing long term assignments that districts, what we say to consider. Thinking about paying their substitute teachers who are sitting in that biology class for 180 days, the equivalent of a teacher’s salary commensurate to their credentials.

To think about that, to tap into those full time budgets too, as opposed to eating up substitute teacher dollars, is also really important. Districts that, I think, coming out of the pandemic, realizing the shortages, have effectively really looked at, critically, their substitute teacher pay on a daily basis, to increase them so that they are Market competitive, if you will, to other districts or just in terms of the equivalent of a full time teacher have also reduced their absenteeism who have also been able to make sure that their classrooms are covered as well. So we do see the benefits of that exponentially when a district buys into a comprehensive program such as ours.

Angela: Have you ever had the experience of not being able to cover? So let’s say a district is working for you, Has that ever happened? Or do you just have such a large pool that you can guarantee coverage?

Nicola: Yeah. So usually, you know, we think about ratios of what it takes, you know, it really depends on the school district or the set of, you know, challenges. And, you know, this Angela’s being a building principal sometimes. Within a public school district, you could have  probably more challenging schools versus others.

It might depend on socioeconomic factors. It could depend on all sorts of things are fill rates or what we call fill rate, which is our daily placement rate. On average, we’re in the high 80s and a lot of our areas, they’re over 90%, which has been unprecedented prior to the pandemic was high 70s, low  80s and say that we tend to be incredibly successful because we have a very efficient practice compared to districts doing it on their own, probably in my tenure here, I might have seen one or two schools or even districts that, you know, Trying to get their fill rates up were really challenging.

I can think of one particular city school district that had, was very reliant on public transportation, but their public transportation was really old and very late a lot of the time. So when you think about zoning of public schools in this particular school district, too, on occasion or had like the Superbowl in their city.

So, you know,  but it just depends. I would say too, there’s always a correlation to the harder to serve schools tends to be where engagement’s really low of full time staff. The other benefits of our program is to be very consultative in terms of being a human capital organization of different things that we can do.

We do a lot of. Pulse surveys, here at Kelly too, especially on a quarterly basis, that gives us a great baseline in terms of what’s going on, employee sentiment, areas of concern, how can we improve what’s going great. We always invite our client colleagues to do the same, because I do think that if they really want to know, And they do it consistently on a scheduled basis. 

It can really help to inform the improvement there. And we survey our substitute teachers too, and especially how they feel about the assignments, the building that they walk into, we turn that over to the district, because I think that’s a great piece of feedback.

Angela: Yes. And the reason I asked that question really in full transparency is because I don’t want principals to hear this podcast and think perfect solution. I can throw money at the problem and it will just vanish and go away. And now they’re responsible and they’re going to take care of it. There is a difference between collaborating with this type of a service versus abdicating 100% of the responsibility and principals. I know what you’re thinking because I would think it too. You’re like, I hear what you’re saying. This is great, but is it going to be another thing to juggle, another thing to manage, another thing on my plate.

And my personal answer, and I’d be curious to hear yours is, I don’t think it’s another thing on your plate as much as it is an invitation to shift the way you think about your subs. Because it isn’t a do, like your approach might shift a little bit in the way that you engage with your subs or you engage with your culture and like building culture so that subs want to stay and want to come. But I think it really starts with not an action, with a mindset, with what’s possible and looking at it in terms of possibility and collaboration and the potential that’s available here.

And in terms of not just getting subs for like that crisis moment or that last minute thing, or for somebody who’s on a leave, but like building genuine relationships with the company, but also with the individuals who are subbing for you to create partnerships, whether that person only wants to remain a sub for the long term, or they are looking for a full-time position, and this is a bridge or a transition for them.

Nicola: And I love the name of your podcast, The Empowered Principal, because that’s exactly what we’re trying to do. From my perspective, what I want our principals, I want them to be successful. And it starts with a successful teacher in the classroom. I call our teachers the head learners of the classroom. And so when you have a successful head learner, especially somebody that you’re trying out as a substitute teacher who’s placed and you get to hire, I mean, that’s great. The success of a program is a true partnership and it has to be collaborative. And that’s why we do provide the insights to our building principals if they choose to be able to really effectively work, you know, how can we help solve your problems? 

So you’ve got a second grade classroom that historically, it’s really hard to fill or keep teachers in or whatever it is, to be able to really tackle and be very surgical too, and where we can help and assist. There are other things too, understanding the talent needs from a building principal’s perspective. I mean, it’s always interesting to me to hear, we really need teachers that I think about a lot of the districts we serve in Florida that can be bilingual. Can you find really great substitute teachers and hopefully that they can be hired into a full-time employment that have that skill set? It’s just little things like that, that if you can help, I mean, I always say to folks, consider us to be the extension of your HR organization or your HR department.

And so looking at the people insights to be able to give you all sorts of best practices, anything that we can do to make that education community of that building a great place to come in and work. And you know what, it’s not lost on me too that our building principals are also head learners. But do you know, and I know you probably do know this, my friend, building principals are the fastest to turn over. At 40% is the national average because it is a very challenging job when you think about all of the stakeholders that you have.

Angela: I call it the ultimate middle manager position, right? Because you are  navigating. The entire school district from the community to parents, to kids, to, you know, teachers, staff, the support staff, office staff, maintenance, like you’re dealing with all of it.

Then you’re dealing with up, you know, district level County fed state. So you really are like the epicenter of that school. And you’re having to coach up and out to your communities, to your school and upward into the district. So it is intense, right? That’s why 50% leave after three years and like 70% leave after five years. 

I always ask my school principals, what’s the one next thing, if you could wave a magic wand and solve it or have it like reduced by half, what would it be behaviors and subs there are external problems, right? So I kind of teach them in that internal work, but it’s also external. And it is actually like, you could write it down in a court of law that yes, these are issues that we’re dealing with, but there are services available to help you.

Meet in the middle, like this service can come in and help you with this. That doesn’t mean like it magically goes away, but if it reduces your stress by 50%, cause you know, you have subs 80% of the time, that’s incredible. That’s an incredible shift in where you as the school principal can focus because now it’s not, you’re only thinking when you go to bed at night and when you wake up in the morning about how you’re going to fill subs, you now have space and energy. To start fulfilling your instructional leadership goals and creating vision and really building up your team.

Nicola: 100% and completely agree. And usually what we find when a program gets implemented, the building principles are like, we lost, do not take it away. You know, like, it’s just its game changer.

Angela: I have a question I feel like people are dying for me to ask.

Nicola: Yeah

Angela:  I’m thinking this. If as a district, we’re trying so hard to recruit. And we’re getting nothing. I hear this all the time. There’s nobody out there. Nobody’s applying. There are no good candidates. Like it feels like the world is void of candidates and it’s not for a lack of trying these districts they’re putting on Facebook posts, Instagram, they’re going on LinkedIn, they’re going on, you know, like ed join, they’re doing all the things, but they’re not getting the traction. 

How is your service able to attract and retain such talent, especially like, and I don’t know the state you serve and not serve, but no matter where somebody is, there’s a district out there. Like, how is that possible? Because I want you to blow people’s minds by letting them know there are subs available, even if you’re in a little. Rural space or like you’re in the state of wherever and you think there’s no subs. Tell us about the magic behind your recruitment. 

Nicola: There are absolutely substitute teachers out there, candidates that want to try this, they want to do this, you know, and I mentioned earlier about value proposition for clients, but also for the talent that we serve.

Not only do I consider to, you know, public school districts to be our clients, but I also consider our employees are clients. What I mean by that is it is our responsibility to sell the brand of a public school district to be able to really provide an open insight, if you will, to all the great things that these, these districts do.

School districts are doing, and they’re doing a ton of great stuff. I don’t think that necessarily sometimes, you know, that’s really made transparent and really promoted. And so part of the, the program that we do have is promoting all of the great things that a particular public school district is doing, all the way right down to different neighborhood school buildings.

I like to think education takes it a little step higher when I think about we provide continuity of instruction, great work opportunities. That’s going to impact students’ lives. So, if we can give continuity of instruction, we’re a part of that community, if you will, as being a part of that, as I said, instructional talent supply chain to be a permanent fixture, if you will, to be able to.

Be hired full time into the district. What a wonderful win. The other thing, it’s not just limited to younger folks coming into the profession. We have so many people that had great careers that might want to do something a little different and those skills transfer and those real life sort of experiences and applications transfer really nicely.

So I really do think it is definitely on us to be able to promote effectively. A public school district’s mission and their purpose and all the great things that are happening there. 

Angela: I’m so thankful that you shared this because I feel like principals now feel pressure to be marketing and selling their school and trying to present it to the world, to the community out there that.

All of the great things it’s doing, and it’s yet another layer. It’s, I always felt like as a principal, like, you know, in a corporation there’s like a pyramid, right? There’s workers and then there’s managers, and then there’s directors and the, all the way up to like the CEOs and the c-suite, the school principal, it’s like a, instead of a triangle, it’s a, a long rectangle, , you’re just rolling from one end to the other, right?

Your HR, your marketing and sales, your finance, your instructional leadership, your budget, you’re doing teacher observations, classroom management, behavior management, like PR, you’re doing it all. And that’s why you feel you’re going, you know, a mile wide and an inch deep because you actually are going a mile wide and an inch deep.

And that’s why services like mine exist for leadership. Development like your services really helps promote it solves multiple problems, you know, on based on what you’ve shared with us today. It’s more than just like getting a sub a person in a classroom. It’s about building a community where we have long term employees.

We have shorter term employees. We have daily employees. We have this breadth of people who are. Genuinely interested in human development, empowering students, empowering teachers, empowering principals. Like, I feel like that is what education is. We’re here to empower people to be whoever they want to be and subs want to be subs.

I think that’s something that was an aha for me. I interviewed somebody from the state of Washington, maybe a few months ago. She’s darling and they’re doing this great collab. I don’t know if you work with the state of Washington at all. 

Nicola: Yeah

Angela: Okay. And there’s a group near, I think it’s Olympia where she’s like, we want to be subs. We love the flexibility. We love like. Different kids, different classrooms and the flexibility, they can work one day a week, five days a week. 

And on the podcast, it was just opening the eyes of people were like, Oh,  there are people who want to do this and who value it and are proud of being a sub and love it.

And they want to serve your school. So I think if you could walk, I always want to give so much value on this podcast. And if you can walk away with just believing and trusting that there are plenty of people who want to support your school and that this can be a real win, it’s available to you. It really is.

Nicola: And I would say, Angela, the best day of my professional life each year is when we announce our substitute teacher of the year. And we get hundreds of nominations from school districts, they’re usually building principals mostly from teachers of their particular favorite substitute teacher and we give them a form and they give the reasons and all that. But there’s definitely folks out there that this is what they do for a living.

Angela: It is their profession and they love it. They adore it. And. It’s empowering for them to be in that role in this way. They feel like it’s the best contribution they can make. And like, that is just so inspiring to me. I love that.

And it’s so fun to hear you celebrating the subs in the same way we celebrate teachers. Like one of my philosophies as a life and leadership coach for school leaders is that everyone in your building, everyone in your district, every member of the organization, equal contribution, but different equal power, but different.

We walk shoulder to shoulder with our custodians, with our office staff, with our nurses, our counselors, our, you know, food service professionals, our paraprofessionals, we are all equally contributing.

Nicola: Yeah

Angela: It just looks different. There’s no hierarchy because you take one piece out of the puzzle, the puzzle’s incomplete. You take subs away, crisis. You take out custodians, crisis. You take out office staff, like everyone’s contributing of equal significance. 

Nicola: Absolutely. And they’re contributing to the success of our students.

Angela: That has a well-being for everybody on campus, right? The well-being. I just remember like, as a teacher, my colleagues would tell me, I’m sick. I’m just giving you a heads up, I’m so sorry. They would feel guilty for staying home with the flu because they knew I was going to have to take on a third of their class, and it was going to impact me. And people would come in sick. People would go in sick to write subplans last minute. It was insane. And we’re forgetting that we’re in the business of humans here, of people, and we have to come up with a better solution. And it sounds to me like what Kelly Services does is it provides a better solution.

Nicola: I think so. And I can tell you, I get up before the alarm clock every single day.

Angela: Because I don’t know what we do, so. Just to wrap up, is there any final words of wisdom, and if they want to reach you, they want to learn more, we’re definitely going to put the links in the show notes for you guys to get more information, but I just want to have you share it real quickly for the listeners out there who might be in their car and can’t take notes.

Nicola: Yeah, I would say the whole issue around substitute teachers or keeping classes covered does not need to be a burden. So a program like ours can work in partnership in tandem with our school buildings, our school districts. You know, we would love to talk to you. How can we help? Because I really do believe with all of the things that we are faced in what we’re challenged with, education does not have to be the way that it needs, what it might be today.

I think there were just tremendous opportunities to readdress, improve, and just really think about things from a different point of view. And it does take a broader community to help solve those challenges. And I really do think part of that responsibility is private sector helping more out with our public school communities.

Angela: Absolutely. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your patience as we were scheduling and try and figuring out a mutual time that would work. I’m so grateful for your flexibility, but this was a wonderful conversation. School leaders do take a look into this, especially if you’re top three stressors. If one of them is substitutes, this is a beautiful solution, a beautiful partnership, and an opportunity for you to leverage and look at subs in a completely different way for the betterment of not just students.

I know we always say it’s for the kids, but this is really about your staff and yourself. It’s okay to get support. It’s okay to reach out. It’s already curated for you. Like, it’s just such a triple win. I think it’s amazing. And I’m so glad that we had the opportunity to share this on the podcast.

So thank you, Nicola, for your time and for your efforts and for the way that you’re serving education and the world, really, like, you know, the world of all the little humans out there who deserve, you know, continuity and people who care and want to be in those classrooms. So thank you.

Nicola: Thank you, Angela. It’s a privilege. Thank you for the work that you do on your podcast, too. So like I said, I love the title, The Empowered Principal. It’s awesome. Thank you.

Angela: Thank you. Have a great week, everybody. We’ll talk to you next week. Take good care. Bye. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Retirement Resistance

Are you feeling stuck in your career, unsure if it’s time to retire or try something new? Do you find yourself chasing those intermittent wins and dopamine hits, addicted to the rollercoaster of school leadership? If so, you’re not alone. 

Many educators struggle with the decision to stay or go, feeling a profound sense of commitment to their work even when it’s no longer serving them. That’s why this week, I explore the concept of retirement resistance and how it can keep principals trapped in a cycle of burnout and dissatisfaction.

Whether you’re considering retirement or a career change, this episode will help you gain clarity on your motivations and empower you to make a decision that aligns with your values and goals. I share insights from a client who recently made the decision to retire after years of feeling torn about it, and show you how to imagine your life outside of education and take back agency over your time and energy.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • How the emotional experience of school leadership can become addictive.
  • Why retirement resistance is common among educators and how it can prevent them from making empowered decisions about their careers.
  • The importance of recognizing the balance between good and bad days in your job and how it impacts your decision to stay or go.
  • Why chasing dopamine hits and intermittent wins can keep you trapped in a job that’s no longer serving you.
  • How to imagine your life outside of education and start embodying the version of yourself that has agency and control over your time and energy.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 357. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast. Hey, if you’re new, drop a five-star review, leave a message, let me know how you are, that you’re in my world, I would love to meet you and say hello. I just love the podcast, and I love this audience, and I love the impact that we are having as empowered principals. It’s outstanding.

Today’s topic is going to be a little bit different than something I usually speak on, but I think it’s important to discuss whether you are considering this idea right now or nearly in your future, or maybe it’s 20, 30, 40 years off, but it also could apply to deciding to leave education. So today’s topic is on retirement resistance. 

I was coaching one of my clients who’s worked with me for years, and she’s near retirement. We’ve been kind of dabbling in the conversation of retirement for quite a while, on and off, on and off, on and off. This year, she said to me, I’m finally ready. We talked about that. We celebrated it, and we talked about it, and we were reflecting on the journey from being a school leader into considering retirement and then not considering retirement and then going back and forth on if retirement’s the right thing, or if resignation is the right thing. So there was a whole conversation on retirement or resignation to go somewhere else and try something different. 

So I want to talk about something that I think is actually quite common, which is retirement resistance, or if you’re not at retirement age, you could apply it to resignation resistance. It basically means you desire to leave the current position you’re in. You want to move to another district. You want to move to another position. You want to retire altogether from education and either try something else or live your best retired life. There’s something that you’re desiring.

So what I have observed is that the institution of education, the job that we are in, I feel like as educators, there is something so fascinating about it because it feels so personal. Because there is such a conviction, and we have a very specific set of leadership values, teacher values, educator values. We have strong opinions. We have a lot of passion around students and teaching and learning and the well-being of our staff and our students and the community. 

We’re very committed to the work even when it isn’t serving us, even when we don’t feel good or we’re disgruntled, or we are feeling emotionally, or mentally unwell because of the pressure and the intensity of the job. But what I have found, and this could be true in other industries but I can only speak to my own industry. I have found it to be true that there is a level of commitment that’s so profound that it almost presents itself like an addiction. 

So hear me out. When you think about people, humans, we are motivated by how things feel to us, the emotional experience we have. We seek out pleasurable things. We try to avoid pain as much as possible, and we try to make things as easy as possible. That’s the motivational triad of the brain. Seek things for pleasure, avoid things that are painful, and make things as easy as possible. 

We want to experience as much pleasure and joy and happiness and delight and success and accomplishment, fulfillment, all of those things. We want to not experience anything on the negative end, the negative emotional end of the spectrum, the pain, grief, struggle, frustration, embarrassment, discouragement, anger. There’s a million words that we use to describe it. 

We’re either feeling good, or we’re feeling bad. We’re looking to feel good, or we’re not looking to feel bad. We’re trying to avoid that. Then we want things to be easy, flow, fun, simple. We want things to click.

So knowing that, what I have found to be interesting is what motivates humans. Let me put it this way. When you think about video games and how they’re designed, video games are designed for you to fail, fail, fail, feel bad, get frustrated, but then like double down, and I’m going to get this level. I’m going to do whatever it takes to pass this level. We get dug in and we get so tunnel vision into figuring it out. Then we do it. We get that little hit of success. It feels really good. It’s just a moment. Boom, we pass the level. Zing, zing, zing, celebrate, celebrate. 

Okay, now here’s the next level. Guess what? It’s a little bit harder, a little more challenging. Even though you just passed that level and you got one opportunity to celebrate and have fun, you got this little hit of adrenaline or dopamine, and now we’re back at it. So there’s 99% grind, 1% hit, then a little bit more discomfort, and then a hit. 

I feel like school leadership is a little bit addicting that way. We have a lot of days that feel hard and then we get that good day. We’re like, oh my God. I could do this forever. This is the best feeling in the world. It’s euphoric when we have a great day or a great week, or we’ve solved a problem, or we’ve helped a student or a teacher, or we hired somebody we just absolutely love. Whatever it is, there are things that just make us fly. We feel like we could fly, and we want to do it forever. We want that emotional experience forever. 

But as you know, every celebration, every emotional experience that we have as a school leader, it’s temporary. We get hard day, hard day, hard day, ooh, a little bit of a good day here, or even a neutral day, which feels better than a hard day. We’ll take it. It feels good. Then we have a really good day, and we’re like oh, I love this. I want to do more of this. Hard day, hard day, hard day, hard day, hard day, and then another good day. 

So this client of mine for the last three years has been hard, hard, hard, hard oh, a little good day. I love this. I want to do this for kids. We get so addicted to this rollercoaster of it’s really hard, but a good day. It’s really hard, but a good day. 

I want to offer something. I want you to notice when you look at your experience in school leadership, is it half good, half bad? Are you in balance with like yeah, there’s hard days, but there’s lots of good ones too? Or is it there’s a few more hard days, but there are plenty of good days? Or is it it’s actually mostly really hard, and I might have a little bit of good that gets sprinkled throughout? 

Because that is actually how we’re wired. It’s like struggle, problem solve. It’s hard. Then we get that little hit, and it carries us into the next celebration. But for some of us, it’s so far between that we haven’t even realized how long it’s been since we felt good, since we’ve been rested, since we feel sufficient. We feel accomplished. We feel productive. We feel helpful. We are fulfilled in our job. We’re content. We’re satisfied. We feel amazing about ourselves, about our staff, about our school. 

So notice, take a moment to notice. On the balance scale, are you feeling really balanced? Is it pretty balanced, or is it actually imbalanced, and you’ve just gotten used to this is the pattern. It’s mostly bad, and I get a little bit of good. I want you to notice that.

The reason I bring this up is that this feeling, this balance of feeling, it’s one of the aspects we look at when we’re making the decision to stay or to go. So if you’re near retirement, but you’re like well, but the kids. I’m going to miss the kids. There’s so much more to do. This is some of the things I’ve been hearing with my clients who are near retirement. But there’s so  much more to do. I wanted to accomplish this. I didn’t want to leave this unfinished. 

Here’s what I have to offer. That’s simply another way of the success addiction grabbing you, getting your attention. It’s like but wait, if you leave now, you won’t get to pass this level. But then oh, wait, there’ll be another level. Then you won’t get to pass that. Don’t leave now because there might be another good moment coming.

So we get on this roller coaster of like I need to stay. What about these kids? What’s going to happen? So notice that if you are at all thinking about resigning to try a new experience or retiring to have a completely different experience, what I want to offer is notice the balance or the imbalance. What is driving you to stay? What’s driving you to go? Okay.

Now, here’s the beautiful thing with my client who was teeter-tottering back and forth. Number one, her son called her out. She was telling him, and he’s like, “Mom, you know you’re going to have a great day. Then you’re going to be like I can do this for 15 more years.” He’s like, “Don’t do that to yourself. You’re ready. It’s time. You have been so committed to your job that you lack rest. You lack relaxation. I don’t know that you know how to relax.” So he was kind of calling her out on some of these things out of love, of course. 

Then a few days later, she runs into a friend of hers, a former colleague who had retired years before her. She had never seen this person again since retirement. They sat down, they talked, they ended up having a conversation, cup of coffee. 

Her friend asked her, what about you? Because my client was asking all about the retirement. How’s it going? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What do you do with your time? She said, “It’s great. It’s this and that. But what about you? What are your plans?” She’s like, well, teeter-tottering, right? Notice this. Notice why. Is it because you think there’s something good around the bend, something good around the corner? 

I’m not trying to talk you out of your job at all. But what I am saying is be honest with yourself about your reasons for considering retirement and the reasons for staying. If it’s to chase the intermittent win or that next dopamine hit, if that’s all it is, it looks like this. Oh, I want to see my school through. I just want this one thing that I’ve been working on. I want to see it to the next level. I want to see it become accomplished. Or I want to get my vision here. Or I just want to graduate this group of kids. 

The problem is there will always be a group of kids who promotes or graduates. There will always be a project that you’re undertaking or trying to see through. There is never a finish line. You call the finish line. You decide the finish line. 

What happens is we get so caught up in the trap of, you’ve got to just do this. You have to be the one. You can’t leave. You’ve got to stay. These kids need you. These teachers need you. This community needs you. it’s true. You’re amazing. But also, it also will live on far past your time there. Your legacy will live on. 

But these teachers and students and families, they grow up. They move on. They get other jobs. They go to different schools. They move in and out of communities. You cannot lock yourself into a position for life because there’s something more you want to accomplish, or there’s another little addiction hit that you want to feel or experience. 

One of the brilliant things that my client’s friend told her was, if you want to retire, but you’re nervous about being so used to being so busy and feeling really guilty about not working or not contributing or not being at your school, a lot of us don’t retire because we think we’re going to feel guilty or we’re going to have so much time. What are we going to do to fill up our time? 

This is what the friend said. It’s exactly what I would have said because it’s my exact sentiments. If you’re considering retirement or you’re considering a resignation to try something new, embody that version of you now while you’re still in the position. Get online. Look around. What would you do with your time? Plan it. Envision it. Imagine it. Let’s say you just can’t wait to sleep in. Practice sleeping in on the weekends. If you can’t wait to work out, start working out now. Maybe you do it on the weekends or maybe you do it once a week.

Start becoming the version of you that is already retired. Start prioritizing things that you would do. You want to join a book club. You want to take up pickleball. You want to do a dance class. You want to just read books and do nothing. Start doing those things now. 

At the very least, if you don’t have the energy or the focus or the capacity to do it now, plan for it. Here’s what my life would look like if I had every day available. I’d sleep in. I’d take a walk. I’d get a cup of coffee with a friend. I would go to water aerobics. I would be in a book club, or I would learn to play cards. Whatever you want. That’s the whole point. You take back agency over your life. You take back ownership of who you are. 

This job, it’s a beast. It will consume every ounce of you mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically. It will take and take and take. But what I see is that we’re a little bit addicted to those wins, to those hits. We never want to give that up because we feel guilty, or we’re afraid of what people will think, or we’re afraid we’re leaving somebody hanging. 

But the truth is this. You guys, I’ve done this. I had the same thoughts, the same fears. I resigned from my district of 22 years. It was such a hard decision at the time. I thought all of those worries and struggles and problems were going to come with me, and I was still going to worry about them, but I wouldn’t have the capacity to fix them. I couldn’t be further from the truth. 

What really happened when I resigned and started my company is that I had an entire new set of things to think about. I was thinking about starting this podcast and writing my book and learning how to market these coaching tools in a way that would support school leaders. 

I remember when I first resigned, I felt so guilty if I went to the grocery store during the week, like during a work day, quote unquote, if I ran an errand, or I was worried I’d be seen out in public. But I was like, wait a minute. I’m not even working for the district anymore. I’m an adult. Why am I feeling like a child who’s skipping school? That’s what it feels like. You go through these waves of guilt. 

I had to give myself permission like you are a grown woman. You can go to the grocery store on a Tuesday if you need to. No one’s controlling your life. It can feel in some cases, particularly site leadership, where you feel you’re under the control of the district leaders, of the policies, of the schedule, whatever. So it can feel so uncomfortable to retire or resign and be doing something else on a different schedule altogether. 

You’re going to have to work through like it’s safe. I have permission. It’s okay. This is my life. I’m the one in charge. I set the rules. I set the terms. I set the parameters of who I want to be. 

So if you’re considering retirement, if you’re looking at resigning and either getting out of education or trying something different in education or simply just trying a new school or a new district, you want to be planning for that now. You want to be thinking about it now. It’s almost November. You’re almost halfway there. It will come before you know it. You want to be able to start embodying what it feels like and envision who you will be as the version of you that has agency and control over your life and is no longer addicted to the very small hits that come with the happiness. 

Now, for those of you listening to this podcast and you’re like I’m so happy. I love my job. Of course, this isn’t directly for you, but I will say this. Do notice the dopamine chase. If you are chasing dopamine hits, notice it. 

Here’s what we do. When something good happens, we feel really good about ourselves, and we identify it as a good leader. When something bad happens, we feel terrible personally, and we make it something about us personally, and we tell ourselves, I’m not a good leader. This isn’t working. Notice the all-in-one thinking, notice the dopamine chase, and notice if you’re in resistance to a new experience, a new lifestyle. 

If at all you feel trapped, if at all you feel like education’s all you know, and you can’t imagine your life outside of education, please start imagining your life outside of education. This is a podcast to empower principals, but part of empowering you is reminding you that you are the one in control of your life. You have agency over your life. You get to make the rules, the parameters. You decide how many hours a day you work, how many hours a week you work, what district you work for. 

You can work hard for your district. You can work hard and love your job, but not if it’s consuming you, not if you feel afraid to leave. That’s not healthy. 

So contemplate this over the week as you’re listening to the podcast, as you’re thinking about your week, create awareness around why you love your job and are you dopamine chasing or do you genuinely feel a sense of balance, a sense of agency, a sense of empowerment over your life even though you are in school leadership. That’s the balance I help people with. 

We need people in school leadership, but we need them balanced. We need them to feel empowered. We need them to feel like they have agency over their life and some level of control over their time and how they spend it and when they say no and not just chasing the one good day every few weeks or the one good week every few months.

If you know somebody who’s in education who is considering retirement or isn’t happy at all, and they’re wondering why they feel so trapped, please share this podcast with them. They don’t understand why they feel so addicted to the job, why they feel so resistant to quitting or resigning or retiring. This is why. It takes a well-managed mind to be able to find the joy in all of the days and to manage those hard days and to not make it mean something about us.

Something to consider. Please share this. If you know anybody who is struggling or thinking of retirement but on the fence or thinking of moving up, promoting, resigning, getting a different job, any kind of transition they’re looking for, share this with them. Share the podcast with them. Share this episode particularly or the podcast in general because we want to help people make empowered decisions and to feel a sense of control and agency over your life. 

Your job should not be dictating every aspect of your life. If it feels that way, it really is time to reconsider if you have any resistance to resigning, to promotions, to a new change, or to retirement. So with that, have a beautiful week, and I will talk with you all next week. Take good care of yourselves. Bye. 

Hey empowered principal. If you enjoyed the content in this podcast, I invite you to join The Empowered Principal® Collaborative. It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to experience exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. 

Look, you don’t have to overwork and overexert to be a successful school leader. You’ll be mentored weekly and surrounded by supportive likeminded colleagues who truly understand what it means to be a school leader. So join us today and become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country. Just head on over to angelakellycoaching.com/work-with-me to learn more and join. I’ll see you inside of The Empowered Principal® Collaborative. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | School Scores

Do you ever feel discouraged or distraught by your school’s performance score? As a principal, it’s easy to take these ratings very personally and let them define your sense of success or failure as a leader. But what if I told you that this scoring system is designed to make you feel insufficient, no matter how well your school performs?

If you find yourself getting caught up in the trap of chasing perfection or letting a low score define your worth as a leader, this episode is for you. The truth is these scores are often presented as a representation of our school’s quality, but they don’t tell the whole story.

Join me this week as I provide some perspective on school scores and how they can impact your mental and emotional well-being as a principal. Your school score does not define you, your staff, your students, or your school. In this episode, I invite you to focus on the sufficiency of where your school is at right now and celebrate the progress you’re making.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why school performance scores are designed to make you feel insufficient, no matter how well your school performs.
  • How to separate your school’s score from the character and integrity of yourself, your staff, and your students.
  • The difference between insufficiency and failure.
  • Why it’s important to focus on progress rather than perfection.
  • How chasing after test scores and perfection is a trap that can lead to burnout and turnover.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 356. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast. The podcast is one of my favorite things to do with my work day. I love it so much. I just really enjoy being here with you. So thank you. Thank you for being here with me. 

I want to take a moment and just share with you how much fun and how much amazement is being created in EPC this fall. There is a knockout group of school leaders who are so passionate. They have such amazing vision. They have such incredible insight. They’re just like you. They are struggling mentally, emotionally. They’re fatigued. They feel overworked. They’re feeling a little bit insufficient. Then they have a great day. Then they have a hard day. It’s all of it. It’s the full package. 

EPC has just been such a wonderful container, a wonderful place for people to come and feel seen and feel heard and express how they’re feeling. We can laugh about it. We can cry about it. We are having the best time. It’s magical. I’m so honored to be in this group with all of these women who are truly masterminding.

What I mean by that is it’s not just me teaching. Yes, I do teaching. I do coaching. But we’re sharing ideas, strategies, tools, what worked, what didn’t, resources, just experience with one another. It’s phenomenal.  I am blown away at the capacity and the potentiality of these leaders. They are phenomenal. So a shout out to all of them who are in EPC. It is truly a pleasure to be working with them. 

All right. On to today’s topic. I’m going to dive right in because this came up today in a coaching session. If one principal is feeling it, my guess is that many, many more are out there feeling it as well. So there are states that score schools. You might get a numeric score, a number score. You might get a letter grade score. You might get stars, a star system. There’s many kinds of rating systems that are out there by usually by state or maybe by county where your school gets some kind of public score. That score is supposedly a representation of the performance of your school. 

I want to break this down. One of my clients was feeling very discouraged and distraught because she didn’t get a score that she wanted for her school. It didn’t feel good. It was a letter score. It was below average, and it felt terrible. I have coached so many people on this. So, I want to provide some perspective here because this can really take a principal down, these scores.

I want to first tell you that the score is designed for you to feel either really, really good or really, really bad. There isn’t a whole lot of sufficiency that feels good. It lands. We’re good. Let’s keep going. It’s like yay, we made it. We got the A, or we’re above. That’s great. Woo, woo, woo. We make it mean all these wonderful things about our school. Or we get the D or the F or however they grade you or the one star or the low numeric score. Oh, terrible. We’re failures. We didn’t do our job. Everything’s going in the handbasket to you know where. It’s all terrible. 

It’s either like, yay. It’s all great. Or, boo, sadness. It’s all terrible. But we take it very personally as the leader because we feel like it’s our burden to bear. If we’re the leader and the school does great, we’re doing a good job. If we’re the leader and the school doesn’t get the grade, then we’re not doing a good job. It’s something on us. 

Couple things I want to say about this. Number one, it is a team effort. It’s not just you. It’s the team. So you want to consider that when you’re thinking about any kind of approach adjustment that you’re going to make. Keep in mind that you alone are not doing all the teaching. You alone are not doing all the behavior management. You alone are not running the school. It’s not just you. It’s a huge team. 

But even more importantly than that, there is a difference between insufficiency and failure. So you can set a goal, and let’s say you aimed for a certain score or you aimed for a certain number or certain number of stars and you missed the goal. So somebody might say to you, you failed to hit the goal. That does not mean that you’re insufficient as a leader. They’re two separate things.

Insufficiency is built into the system by design. What I mean by that is that this testing system is designed and the grading system that they’re giving schools right now, it’s designed for you to feel insufficient. Literally, you’re either doing perfection, or you’re insufficient somewhere, right? 

Here’s the example that I used with my client. Number one, there will always be a gap of some kind in a school. There’s where you’re at and where you want to be because as humans in the business of developing humans, that’s what education is. There will always be a gap of here’s where we’re at and here’s where we’re going and here’s where we’re growing, right? 

So there’s where you’re at in this moment, but if you think where you’re at right now isn’t good enough, it doesn’t matter if you get to the next level, because then there will be a next level and then you’ll think you’re insufficient there.

There’s always a gap because we are wired to evolve and grow. Okay, so there’s always where you’re at and there’s always a where you want to be. It is the process of evolution. It’s not that we’re chasing perfectionism. 

It’s like saying this, I live in a house. I love my house. My house is great. I love the fireplace. I love the windows. You know what? There are some quirks to this house. The upstairs faucet’s a little leaky. The washing machine is older, and it kind of bangs around sometimes. There’s a crack, a chip over here in the paint, a crack over here. We’ve got to repair. Always something that is in need of repair. There’s a little project, a house project. 

So you can love your house. You can be sufficient in your house. It’s a great house. It has a roof. It has four walls. It has windows. It has comfortable beds. It’s got bathrooms. It’s got running water, electricity. Oh my goodness, internet. It has so many creature comforts. I love my house, and I desire a newer home or a bigger home or a different location home. You can love what you have and be in it and desire. You can have a gap in where you’re at now and a desire that you have.

But when you live in your home and you love it, your experience of that moment is I love this, and I’ll love that too. I’ll love where I’m at right here, and I will love where we’re going to the next house. The same is true for your school. Your school is your home. You can love your school. Yes, it has projects because it isn’t perfect. 

Guess what? You could build the best home, custom made super design mansion on the best land, on the best views and the best property. It’s still going to have a punch list. It will still have imperfections. You can focus on the imperfections, or you can focus on the sufficiency of loving your home as is. 

Same with our schools. You can love your school, and it can have a punch list. You can have worked on this project last year, and in the house context, maybe you put new windows in last year and this year you’re going to replace the floors, or you’re going to upgrade the kitchen or one of the bathrooms. You don’t do it all at once typically. Even if you did, there would still be a punch list. There would still be things that weren’t quite perfect. 

We’re not going for perfection, but the system of education has set us up for perfection, which means it set us up to feel insufficient. It set us up for failing. If you were to go from a D to a C and then a C to a B, you’re going to feel amazing, but someone’s going to say but you’re not at an A. Then  let’s say you get to the A. 

What’s going to happen if your school is at an A and it performs consistently? Let’s say 80 or 90% of kids are performing on grade level or above. The culture is great. Parents love it. Students, everybody’s happy. It’s this little pretty school and pretty scores and pretty, then they’re going to say oh, our grading system must be too easy. It must be too easy to achieve. We’re going to make it harder. We’re going to change a test for the kids, the rating system for the school. 

The job is to make it harder. The whole system is designed by designed for you to feel insufficient. You cannot get caught in the trap. It’s an illusion. You’re being sold a game that you’re actually not playing. The game is not chase after test scores and get perfection and get all the A’s and get all the five stars and get the whatever score. That’s the facade that you’ve been sold on, but that’s not it. It’s a hook. 

I want you to consider what you’re making your school score mean about you, about your students, about your staff, about your school community. Are you taking it and applying it so personally and so heavily that you feel like you can hardly breathe when you look at that score? That score means nothing. Somebody made it up. 

I know you’ll say, but it matters to the superintendent and it matters. It matters. It matters. It matters because we taught people. Here’s what an A means. Here’s what a B means. Here’s what a C means. Here’s what a D means. Here’s what an F means. In the field of education, don’t you dare ever consider getting an F because if you do, that’s very bad because it describes your character, your capacity, your effort. 

We’re making grades mean something very personal about the human character, the human, the internal humanness of the student, of the teacher, of the principal. When, in fact, it’s a made up score, scored by humans who made up the system, who are also imperfect, but they’re hiding behind a rating that they’re not giving themselves, but they’re making it mean something about you personally. They’re making mean something about your students and your staff and your ability to be inspirational and to be engaging and to what? 

No, the test isn’t measuring what you actually do in your job. What you actually do in your job is build up emotional regulation in students and staff, maturity, communication, connection, developing not just their academics, but their humanness, their ability to socialize, their ability to problem solve and resolve conflicts and communicate effectively and physically develop, especially with the younger ones, right? They’re developing their bodies physically, kinesthetically. That’s what we’re doing. 

We don’t measure those things. We don’t measure the character of somebody, but yet we make the academic grade mean something about their character. Don’t fall into the trap. It’s a trap. It’s a loop. They want you to feel bad so that you’ll do more. But then what’s happening is you go out and do more and burn out and then you leave, and they think the solution is we get different people in. That’s not it.

The difference between schools that do well and schools that don’t is everybody feels great about being there, about what learning looks and feels like, about what teaching looks like, and they’re not focused on the test score or what they make the score mean. What they’re doing is they’re re-establishing the meaning behind it. They’re interpreting test scores differently, school scores differently. Your school score does not identify you unless you let it. 

When you think about the community, oh, that school got a D, that must be a bad principal. That must be a bad school. You have to interpret what does this D mean? Is it true? Did we just not put any effort in? Did we not try with kids? Did we not teach this year? Or were we developing young humans? Were we showing up every day, giving it everything we had in spite of what we might have been dealing with on our campus, mentally, emotionally? 

You were not a grade. That is not your identity. The D is designed to push the most painful human emotion of insufficiency, but it does not push the button of inspiration. It’s desperation, pressure. It’s a pain point used to try and, I don’t know what, control, manipulate. Create what? Pressure, power. I’m not sure why we’re doing this to people, but it doesn’t feel good. 

When school leaders don’t feel good, their schools don’t do well. When kids don’t feel good about themselves as students, they don’t perform well. When teachers don’t feel good about themselves as teachers, they don’t teach well. If there’s one thing that I could offer you this school year is that your test score doesn’t equal, or your school score, any score. It doesn’t equal your character. It doesn’t equal the character of your teachers, the integrity behind your work, the alignment around what you’re doing. It’s simply a made-up score. 

Now, if we could flick it to the side of the road and never have to deal with it again, that’d be amazing. But we are dealing with the institution and the systems that are in place, and the rating systems are a part of that. Your school’s going to get rated. It’s what you make it mean. It’s how you interpret it. Is it from insufficiency, or is it the house where it’s sufficient, and yeah, it’s got a punch list. It’s got projects that need doing. 

But there’s always a project. There’s always something we can be tweaking and working on, and changing and improving and upgrading. But we’re not in a rush. We’re going to triage. We’re going to prioritize. We’re going to do this project this fall, and then maybe we’ll do another project in the spring. Then we’re going to do another project next fall, and then we’re going to maybe do this little project in the winter. We have seasonal projects at our school. It’s a home. It’s evolving. There will never not be a gap. 

So instead of focusing on the gap, you can focus on the sufficiency of where you’re at right now. Because I promise you this, if you were to hate your home the whole time you lived in it and was always looking at what’s broken, what’s leaking, what’s squeaking, what’s not fixed, what’s scratched, what’s chipped, and every day you just focus on all those little things that drive you crazy and you can’t stand it, promise you this. It won’t be long before you move into your beautiful, big, custom-built, brand new mansion home, and you’re going to start to see the little imperfections. 

That big beautiful house that you worked so hard and thought it was going to be perfect when you got there, you’re going to find that it has punch lists and imperfections just like the old house did. It’s about how you feel about yourself and your school and your staff and your students and what you make those scores mean.

Separate the score from the character of the person. Your school scores do not define you, your staff, your students, or your school. If there is work to do, it isn’t a problem. All schools have it. If you were to have an A rating, I promise you this, they’d rewrite the rating, and you’d be back down because the goal is evolution. 

So focus on what’s progressing, what’s evolving, what’s transforming, what you’re learning as a leader, what your teachers are learning as teachers, the joy and experience of engaging with students. Watching a child go from not being able to regulate themselves at all to having a day where everything’s calm, that’s a huge win. Having five students who can’t regulate down to three students who can’t regulate, that’s a huge win. 

I want you to consider the score has nothing to do with your integrity, with your values, with your character, with who you are. Because insufficiency has nothing to do with failure. Failure is just missing the mark. I set a goal, I missed the mark. Sufficiency is whether I believe in myself and whether I value the progress I did make and the things I did do versus looking at everything I didn’t do. 

I know this might feel controversial in your mind. It might really rub up against some of your belief systems and what you make it mean about yourself or your school. But I promise you, that school score does not have to define you. If it’s something you struggle with, you can join EPC. The doors are open in October because the fall dip happened, and I know that people are struggling. This is the time when most people join. 

So I’m opening the doors in October to let you in, to get you in through the rest of the year. So come on in. The doors will not be open the rest of 2024. It’s open through October. Come on in. We would love to support you. We can turn this around, I promise you. Please go have an amazing week. Take good care of yourselves, and I will talk to you all next week. Take care. Bye. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Take Control of Your Reputation: PR Strategies for Educational Leaders with Dr. Jamay Fisher

As educators who are committed to helping our communities grow and being leaders in our own space, it’s important for us to manage both our personal public image and that of our school the best we can. A rise in social media presence on our campuses brings a new element into our understanding of leadership, but it’s not something we’re typically taught.

This week, I sit down with Dr. Jamay Fisher who brings a unique perspective to the topic of public image and school leadership. As an academic advisor and branding expert who has worked in both education and politics, Dr. Jamay sheds light on the importance of intentionally shaping your reputation and legacy to make a bigger impact in education, and what it takes to be a top-class leader.

Join us in this episode to hear how to build an empowering public image that expands your reach and impact. Dr. Jamay shares valuable insights on the importance of being intentional about crafting your public image. She also offers strategies for proactively managing your public relations, withstanding turbulence, and taking charge of your legacy.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why your public image is being crafted with or without your input, and how to take control of the process.
  • How to align your personal identity to maximize your impact as a leader.
  • The importance of being selective and strategic in your associations and publications.
  • Why focusing on your strengths and successes is key to withstanding turbulence as a leader.
  • How to craft an empowering image for your school or district that attracts high-quality talent.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode  355. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Angela: Hello, empowered principals. Welcome to today’s episode. I have a very special guest for you. Her name is Dr. Jamay Fisher. She and I have just recently contacted one another and felt like we became friends overnight. It was sensational to meet. 

We actually met, and I’m going to have her tell you a little bit more of this story, but we actually met through a different coaching program. We were both clients of a different coaching program, a business building coaching program. She found me in that program, and we connected. I loved her work and her message so much. It is such a valuable conversation that we are about to have to share with you guys today. 

I asked her if she could please be on the podcast because I think this message, this conversation will stimulate some really rich thoughts about the upcoming school year and just development as a leader.  So Jamay, welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast.

Jamay: Thank you, Angela. I’m really excited to talk more with you about this specific topic. Like you mentioned, we talked about a lot of different things, but we both really care about educators, and we really care about leaders in education specifically and the industry. We especially connected on that because I come from the world of education too. 

Currently, I advise experts on best practices in leadership public image. I have been in this work for a long time, and I come from the classroom just like the rest of us and we really care about education. So we’re going to talk all the things today about leadership and public image and all of that. 

Angela: Yes, and I love her unique niche in terms of the field of education. So definitely, you have the teaching background, you have the leadership background, you have administrative background. What’s interesting about the work that you do, and you can talk more about this, but what I love about your work is your work at the university level in teaching educators the art of PR. So can you just speak a little bit more about that aspect of your professional work? 

Jamay: It is definitely an art indeed. I did not come into education thinking I wanted to work in PR. I actually came into education because I wanted to leave PR. I worked on Capitol Hill. I come from the world of politics. My first degrees are in political science, and I worked on Capitol Hill for two members of Congress, one senator and one member of the House, both representing the state of Minnesota.

I loved it. I loved being in PR. I love being in press and handling the media. After a reelection scare, I wanted something that I wanted to do that was also just as exciting as working on the Hill. I decided that was education. So the member of Congress I worked for was a science teacher for St. Paul Public Schools before he ran for Congress. I had a lot of friends who are in education and educators. So that’s why I decided to be an educator too.

So I kind of came into education because I wanted to leave the world of PR. But as PR professionals know, once people find out you do PR, they think you’re going to do PR all the time. 

Angela: Yes.

Jamay: But it kind of was part of what I did because, I mean, I have a degree in elementary education and middle grade social studies. So when I went into teaching, I had the press in my room all the time, and I was interviewing at newspapers and there were always tours in my classroom. I always knew how to manage my students very well. We all knew what to do when the media showed up. It was like so exciting. I just thought everybody did it.

But come to find out because of the way I went about it, they wanted me to work at district headquarters. So I worked at district center, and I developed like superintendents, cabinet members, and things like that and the broader public about PR. I was doing coaching at that level. That’s what led me into getting the doctorate and doing this work at universities too. 

So that’s what brought me into this work. I am so committed to, especially in our current times. Some of us grew up when social media was not as big as it is now. The media is still the media, but it operates in a different way. I read an article this morning about teachers and educators and even members of education and leadership who worked in cabinet who lost their jobs because they did not necessarily know how to manage the media well.

I think that as educators who are committed to helping educators grow and being leaders in our own space, it’s important for us to know how to manage the media the best we can. I don’t think we’re typically taught that, so. 

Angela: Definitely not taught that. I agree with you. I think that media in general, particularly social media, is an entirely newer layer that has come into our schools. We have students with phones and access to media. We have teachers and staff, and we have families.

There is always a presence of social media on our campuses, which brings a new element into our leadership understanding and the skillset required of us to navigate that. 

I know I have been impacted by social media. Something as simple as like the newspaper, the local newspapers are now electronic. They have blogs, they have comments and opinion sections where people can go in anonymously or not and communicate and speak their opinions regarding you or your school or a staff member.

So there is an additional layer to be thinking about in social media. So tell us more about some of the teachings that you do with your students at the university level in terms of ideas, tips, strategies for them to think about as they’re entering into the field of education. 

Jamay: Yeah, so really when you really get focused on how you want to be, not only in your school, but we’re public employees, most of us. Even if you work in a private institution, you’re still kind of public. 

Angela: You’re serving the public, yeah. 

Jamay: We have a public image. You don’t have to craft your public image. It’s going to happen to you regardless if you do it or not. But if you craft it, it makes everything easier for you. So this is what I teach students in my public and my private practice. It really helps with making student outcomes easier, interacting with family, even moving around the profession. You get more power regarding how you negotiate contracts and the offers you get as educators.

When you specifically craft your leadership public image, it just makes it easier for you. I have to personally admit when I came into education, even though I come from the world of PR, I never really thought of investing in my own PR or my own leadership image. It’s just something that I naturally did. So I never really invested in it per se. But just like others, like we just kind of take on what the organization or the district is doing for their PR, which I think is important. We’re entities of that organization. 

But I knew as I went into the classroom and I had more media, I wanted to  help people beyond like the metrics of what the district counted. So that meant I needed to create an image. Like I wanted to help the profession writ large. So I knew at that point that I needed to create a leadership image.

This is what I teach my students too. I think we need to know about crafting an image because it is a personal preference. You don’t have to craft a leadership public image if you don’t want to, it’s all about preference, but as long as you know your reason why. Your image will be crafted. 

Image is like, basically when I think of leadership, public image in the world of education, it’s like reputation on steroids. So when you craft it on purpose is reputation on steroids. We all have a reputation regardless if we focus on it or not. But focus on it, it just makes things easier. 

This is sort of what I teach my students. I teach them from a couple of different lenses about how to do it. I think I have them first think about okay, think about your favorite like principal in your district or outside of your organization or your favorite superintendent. Like what makes that person great? Not only are they creating amazing student outcomes, I mean, of course they are, but what really makes them like so cool and so great? Think about that. I think that’s sometimes a great place to start.

Angela: Yeah, that is. I loved what you said that your image is being crafted whether you are doing it with intention and with consciousness or not. Because we are public figures, we do have a public image. We have a reputation. What I love about your work is that it gets really specific about the intentionality and the crafting of how to do that.

What I teach in EPC and the Empowered Principal® Collaborative is establishing your identity, how you self-identify. I think you and I were talking about this in our last conversation was, you first have to create your own identity. How do you identify as a school leader professionally? How do you identify personally? 

I think you and I can discuss this. My take on this would be to be in alignment with your identity as a person so that you’re not creating some false persona of who you want people to see you as an image, but being that person and being in alignment with that so that your image is actually you. 

Jamay: Exactly. That is really critical. The work that you’re doing with your leaders is really critical, and that’s definitely where to start. Then when you think about because that’s just going to help you create better student outcomes. It’s going to help you not have burnout and recruit better teachers. 

But in terms of public image, I’ve worked with a lot of superintendents and people who have really big images. It’s really important, even for our teacher leaders, because I was a teacher leader doing this, right? Think about our associations. Think about who you are. That’s the work you do with your educators. But then think about your association because a leadership brand image, one of the first things you should do or one of the things you should do is create your associations. 

So we’ll help you withstand turbulence in the profession as things change. As we know in the media, a lot of superintendents, teachers, and districts have a lot of turbulence in the media. So if you create strong associations, it will help you withstand turbulence in the profession. 

How I teach this is I think about educators who write op-eds. Think about where you’re putting the op-eds and what you’re saying. What outlets are you submitting op-eds to? One of the things that I teach my leaders in my public and private practice is like okay, where are you presenting? Which conferences? Just not anywhere, but on purpose based on what you’re teaching. Which, Angela, what you teach is knowing who you are. 

Angela: Yes.

Jamay: Are you presenting or are you publishing op-eds and outlets that reflect who you truly are? Or are you coming off as, quote-unquote, opportunistic? People kind of see that. Another example in education we use in terms of publishing is the ASCD magazines, like the Educational Leadership ASCD magazine is a very reputable publication. You might get a publication there or you might get an interview. 

You’re doing this because you have to know your big why. Like, why are you doing this? Most of the time people in education create leadership brand images because they want to make a bigger difference in the profession outside of immediately what they’re doing in their school. So that’s one way I think about creating a leadership brand image and how I teach it too. So. 

Angela: Yeah, that’s why I feel like our work that we do, it’s in conjunction with one another. It’s in combination because I cover leadership, right? So I’m doing, here’s how to be a new leader. Here’s how to approach situations. Here’s how to time manage, plan, balance. I’m trying to teach them that identity and stepping into their empowerment. I love this content because it’s so specific but yet it’s so critical because I do think, and I’ve had this experience personally. 

I wish I had had you as a mentor back 10, 15 years ago when I was a principal, but it matters. What people think of you matters. If you’re out of alignment with who you are, or if you are playing principal by day and like, I don’t know. It’s not aligned to you personally, like you’re one human. So.

Or if somebody misconstrues and now there’s a perception that isn’t you, isn’t in alignment with who you actually are, even that is something to have to negotiate, to navigate through because you have to deal with people’s misperceptions of your personality, your persona, your image. Like you said, navigate those storms. 

I have found personally and with my clients, the best way to navigate through the storms, and you’ll have them because you’re a leader. You’re a public figure is alignment. It’s knowing yourself so deeply that you tether yourself in what is true for you, where your values are, where you stand and owning mistakes. We’re human. It’s not to say you’re going to wipe your image squeaky clean for the public. It’s to own our humanness. I’m sure you have ways that you teach this.

But what speaks to me is you’re not here to avoid public comment, scrutiny, or misunderstandings. It sounds to me like you’re asking people to look at their image as a part of their job and craft it proactively knowing that, and those associations. That’s something I hadn’t thought of before. I appreciate that input because that is a part of image.

But you’re doing this proactively, but to strengthen who you are and grounding yourself in certainty so that when the storms hit, you are tethered during them. 

Jamay: That’s one element of it. So going back to creating these other associations in higher ed. Let’s use higher ed as an example. Each state in each region has their own like whatever associations, but let’s think about an example in higher ed, and that might be Harvard. So when people think of Harvard, they think of excellence, like the best in class, the gold standard. So when families or the public, they know Harvard, but when they meet you, they don’t know you. 

So let’s say, okay, they know Harvard, and they know what Harvard represents, but they don’t know you. So when they get to interact with you, you might have like your degree on the wall, which would say Harvard. Or they find out from your resume or your CV that you went to Harvard. So they create an association. Oh, Harvard represents like best in class. Oh, this person must be an excellent educator. So they associate you with excellence.

That goes back to where you’re putting your op-eds and where you’re showing up if you’re writing, like it’s a creation of association. They may not know you as an educator, like families or other people in the profession, but when they see your association, it’s about being intentional. Then putting things on repeat, not just doing it once. Not just going to Harvard and saying I tick that box, I’m done. But then putting it on repeat and sharing it with the public and then evaluating it through like inquiry or action research. 

I would say this is one thing that Angela is good at too. That’s why I think your work is so important, Angela, is because you help people with like inquiring about their profession outside of their institution. Like, I think that it’s important for educational leaders to seek like mentorship or guidance or advising outside their district resources because their district resources is very focused on the district. 

But when you want to craft a leadership public image, you need to think about okay, how can I impact my own practice and the profession outside of just what the district is doing and then putting it on repeat and sharing it. So that is the other thing I think that is important to teach when we’re doing the work on public image. 

Angela: Yes. This aligns to my message on in order to be, I feel like this is the equation that maximizes empowerment for school leaders. It’s your identity then creates an influence. You could add image into this too. Like your identity and your image creates influence, which creates impact and that creates a legacy. 

Jamay: Yes. 

Angela: So like, if you’re a leader who really strives to be the top of class, make the biggest difference, you have to identify as a leader. You go internal and identify yourself and then you create this image, and you would work with Jamay to build up that PR and that image of where you’re at and where you want to be. That builds up your level of influence, which generates impact. 

That is where you craft a legacy that goes so far beyond who you are today at this particular position in this particular school. You’re crafting an image for your life, your career. The ripple effect of that and the impact you’re creating, it has no bounds. 

It’s limitless because you are expanding your reach. You’re expanding your image, right? To not only be, I’m the principal at this school right now. I’m an empowered educator whose legacy and image continues to evolve and expand throughout the course of my entire career. 

Jamay: Exactly. That’s a commitment to the profession and the career. Like a lot of educational leaders can’t withstand turbulence because first of all, they haven’t created a series of association. It’s just not one. Let’s say you didn’t go to Harvard. You don’t have to go to Harvard. You could do anything you want, but it has to be a series of associations, and you have to put it on repeat. 

That’s where it’s a lot of distractions, especially as leaders. We get pulled in a lot of directions. So it’s important that we put our image on repeat. It helps us to withstand the turbulence that might come up in an organization or like just in life in general. You can withstand it better when you put it on repeat, you share it, you make more associations. 

I think one thing that I noticed too, a lot of people don’t do this, clearly Angela and I are fans of doing this, but a lot of educators in leadership like who are like teacher leaders or licensed admin, some of them worry about giving up their successes now. They worry that they’re going to lose what they’ve already done. So they decide that they don’t want to grow an image because images grow over time. Like it’s an ongoing associations and it evolves, everything in the universe changes.

So people are worried okay, I’m just going to stay at this school. I’m going to stay in my little zone, and I’m not going to do anything more because I’m worried that I’m going to lose successes, the success that I’ve created. But one thing that we know about leadership studies in general, especially creating a public image in educational leadership is the more you are intentional about your action research and the more you are doing this on repeat and sharing, you actually get clearer and clearer, and you grow your impact. 

Angela: Yes, that is definitely an important point. You can stay at a school. You can stay in a position. It’s not about like growing in terms of like climbing the corporate ladder per se or like running around and doing as many positions as possible to like rack up experience. 

It’s less about that and more about I call it the deeper work, like the under the surface work where it is refinement and nuance and detail and growing and exploring and expanding ourselves, whether you stay in a position or whether you grow. Staying in a position because you’re afraid is different than staying in a position because you’re taking it to the next level.

So your image could be a person who stayed in an organization for 10, 20, 30 years, but did you continue to evolve that organization and contribute to that organization and to expand your ability to lead and to leverage and to inspire people throughout that organization for the duration of your tenure, whether it’s two years or 40 years, right? 

Jamay: Yeah, exactly. Doing that is what makes you grow it. You get clearer and clearer the more you grow your image and the associations you make because you’re making trade-offs. Angela, you address a lot of matters in burnout. A reason some people have burnout is because they’re not clear about their associations and their trade-offs. 

Angela: Can you say more about that? 

Jamay: It’s always about, okay, I’m going to stop doing this because I want this to happen instead. So kids are always going to learn. You don’t have to create a public image for kids to learn if you’re doing your job really well. Kids are going to learn. But people come to you and they ask you to do things that are not necessarily related to the kind of impact and change you want to make in the profession.

So you will have to say no to that. For me personally, that was one of the harder things I had to learn in terms of growing my own image as an academic and a mentor advisor in the world is that I can’t do it all, but I wanted to make a bigger impact. So how can I make a bigger impact? That’s different for everyone, but it is constantly a matter of trade-offs. So doing things that will help you help more people in the industry, so. 

Angela: Yeah, no, that’s constraint. I think constraint actually is one of the tickets to success because we spread ourselves a mile wide and an inch deep versus like I’m going to hone this skill, or I’m going to hone this area of expertise, right? Doctors, general doctors, right? Then there are like specialists, and they can take that work to a level that when you’re trying to learn it all, you’re not going to be able to be a specialist in that area. 

So that’s another thing to consider in terms of your image and your PR stance is like, are you going to be an expert in a particular area of education? Are you going to be somebody who’s like done a breadth of experiences? You’ve tried a lot of seats on the bus. 

There’s no right or wrong way to develop your image. It’s the image that you want to create, but it’s about being conscious and intentional with that creation of that PR image and developing it in a way that continues to serve yourself, your organization, and the greater good, right, of education at large.

Angela: Yeah, and for those people in your audience who have written dissertations or considering writing dissertations, this is kind of when you think about it in terms of like higher ed and writing a dissertation. Okay, so when you write your literature review, even if you’re doing action research in a school or inquiry in a school and you’re not doing it for a dissertation but you’re doing it for professional development. Like there are certain things you include in the lit review and certain things you don’t include in a lit review. 

So let’s say you’re working on like teacher retention. So you’re trading off writing about teacher retention versus like standardized testing. We are in the industry of helping kids learn. So like whatever you do, like you’re still going to help kids learn at the end of the day, but you’re just focusing on, and this is for leadership public image too. Like if you want your expertise to be on teacher retention, you might not show up on an interview related to like standardized testing, for example. So it’s just a really always a thoughtful, intentional choose this or this. 

Angela: Yes, can I switch gears a little bit for a moment? Because I think we talked about this last time we spoke as well, and shifting gears from like the personal identity and the personal image and what you’re crafting for yourself and your legacy in terms of your career. Thinking about how you craft the image of the school you’re working for. 

So I work with a lot of principals or perhaps superintendents who are listening, crafting an image for their organization, whether that’s at the site level or the district level. Do you work with people on that topic?

Jamay: I do, and I think they go hand in hand. 

Angela: Yes. 

Jamay: So they do go hand in hand. you want to definitely think about like your school improvement plan, like your SIP, or your like strategic plan for the district in terms of how you, the matters of public image that you’re working on. So they definitely feed into each other. So let me make sure I answer your question.

But yes, I think these things all work together. I think they, I believe that as educators committed to the profession that they should be in accord. So I think that they need to inform each other because that’s how you excel with the community members, with like creating like strategic plans. It’s kind of how you get things done in the district too. When you think about, okay how can I craft this strategic plan? I’ve done strategic planning for school districts and many of your listeners have. So how can I craft this strategic plan in a way that aligns to the values of this particular community? 

So it’s similar. It’s crafting your own personal PR is similar to the work you do at the district level. It’s just thinking about it in a broader way. That’s all. 

Angela: It makes it feel doable and aligned, right? So it’s like, if I’m crafting and doing this work at an individual level, I’m going to expand that into the organizational level because that way you’re not trying to craft two different messages or two different kinds of images.

I have been working with people on we’ve been hearing in the industry that there is a shortage, right? There is a teacher shortage. It’s hard to hire staff. I’m coaching people to stop telling themselves that because that is actually when you keep telling yourself, there’s nobody out there who wants the job. There’s not enough people or there’s not any good people. That’s the experience you end up creating for yourself. 

So you want to be cautious about how you speak about incoming people. There are people graduating all of the time. There are people moving all of the time. One of the things we’re working on, and I think your work would really expand this message to schools out there, we need to market our image, our brand per se, to the people who want to work at our school.

If we want to attract high quality teachers or new assistants or paraprofessionals or maintenance staff, whoever you’re hiring, anybody, we want to share the strengths of our school and the image of our school in a way that makes people more interested in wanting to learn more and wanting to work with us.

Because our brand isn’t just about who we are. Our brand is about our team and the culture of our school and our values in the organization and what’s in it for people. Why should I apply to this school or this district? Would you agree that is part of image as well? 

Jamay: It is. Not only, like you said, it’s our own individual leadership image, but how is it complementing the district? What you focus on, you get more of. So if you’re talking about the lack of XYZ, the lack of like teachers in the profession or hiring, you’re going to get more of that. 

It’s also okay, what can we control? Getting back to focusing on like empowerment, the core of your work, and how can we be empowered around this instead of outsourcing a broader narrative? Like not saying I don’t believe that we should be Pollyanna about certain things, but what we do focus on, we get more of. So if you want to focus on a certain lack, you will create more of that lack.

So how can we make, how can I, as a leader, when I’m out like writing op-eds, doing ASCD work, presenting at international and national conferences, how can I contribute to the image of the organization I’m affiliated with? So how is my work complementing the district? 

If I’m going to conferences and I’m constantly talking about how there is a lack of talent, is that really helping me or the district? It’s not. How can we focus on like what we can control instead of outsourcing instead? So. 

Angela: Yes, yeah, no, that is so great. I think when you are intentional with crafting an image, a PR image for yourself and perhaps for your school, that is the conduit through which you communicate your identity, your school’s identity, your district’s identity about this is who we are. This is what we value. This is our approach. These are our kids. This is what we highlight. This is what we focus on because I believe at the end of the day, your image, your branding, your personal, what people think about you, it all comes down to the energy behind you. 

What you believe about yourself, what you believe about staff and students, what you believe about the work that you’re doing. The more empowering thoughts that you think about yourself and your image, and you have thoughts about the public and they have thoughts about you, right? This is that dance of image and public relations. It really comes down to the energy exchange between you and the public. 

Jamay: Right, exactly. Because we are representatives, I believe in my work. I think when you affiliate yourself, that goes back to associations. When you are associated with a certain district, you’re also associated with their strategic plan, even though you are growing this complimentary leadership image for your own professional life. I think it helps your professional life. Angela would agree, but it should be parallel. 

Because if it’s in contrast, that’s where problems start. That’s where you might lose your contract or you don’t create advancement in your district or in the profession because you’re out of alignment. That was the news story I read in the paper this morning about educators who have an image that’s not an alignment of their organization. It’s a relationship. So we want that relationship to be complimentary. If we’re focused on like a shortage of what the narrative is around the shortage of teachers, that’s what we’re going to create more of. 

Angela: Yes, definitely. I just want to reassure you guys, just as a side note here, there are people who want to work for you. They want to work for your school. The more you see how amazing your school is and you focus on its strengths and you speak to those strengths, you will attract people who want to be at your school, who desire to support, whether they’re support staff or certificated staff, there are people out there who want to work. So keep that in mind. 

I have been coaching principals on getting those positions filled before day one. I have been so impressed at their belief and trust and faith in the process and it’s working. So just, if you’re out there and you’re listening to this and you’re frustrated about hiring, just know like, think about your image. What image are you portraying to the public, to your community about what it’s like to work at this school, what it feels like to work at this school, the benefits of working at this school, right? 

It really comes down to how people feel, how they feel about you, how they feel about the district, the culture of the district. I really think this work is so essential. Jamay, I don’t feel like this is a conversation schools are having, but I do think it is one of the missing puzzle pieces about its image, but below that, it’s about how we feel. Like image is about how one feels about themselves, about how other people feel about us. You said relationship, and I think that’s the word here. It’s the relationship you have with yourself and others and the community at large.

Is there any final thoughts or words of wisdom or insight that you can share with these site and district leaders that are listening to the podcast today? 

Jamay: I believe we covered everything. Angela and I could talk about this forever, but that’s what PR is, right? It is relationships. It’s a public relationship. It’s the relationship, not only like Angela mentioned, first of all, any relationship we have with anything is first of all about the relationship we have with ourselves. 

So first you’re thinking about the relationship with yourself and then thinking about your associations and relationships, what matters outside of you and how these certain things become like circumstances. Like a so-called teacher shortage, that can become a circumstance if you only focus on the right thing, like focusing on the right things and helping kids learn and growing our image and impacting the profession that way is the work that we’re committed to. So I think we’ve covered everything. This is so exciting. 

Angela: I know you and I could probably talk for hours, but if the listeners want to learn more about your work or reach out or contact you, what’s the best way for them to do that? 

Jamay: I’ll keep it easy. I will just go to Instagram. My Instagram handle is JamayFisher, that’s J-A-M-A-Y, Fisher, F-I-S-H-E-R, and that’s where you can find me. I also have there where I have my academic papers written for the research at universities I’ve done. I have public pieces written like an ASCD, for example, in leadership. Just I would love to start a conversation with anyone who’s interested. So that’s where to find me.

Angela: Yeah, and we’ll drop some links in the show notes for people to get direct access to Dr. Jamay and her work. We’ll put her Instagram handle in the show notes as well so that you guys can just click and have immediate access to her and her work.

I really hope that at some point you and I can do a collaboration, whether that’s a webinar, a training, a conversation, or developing some kind of process for people, because I think our work blends so beautifully together. Your expertise plus my expertise, I think it just up-levels the work that our school leaders are doing and supports them at just a deeper level. 

Jamay: Thank you, I cannot wait. 

Angela: We will be talking more in the future. So thank you for your time. Thank you for being on the podcast. It’s such a pleasure to have met you and to now call you a friend and to collaborate with you again in the future. It’s going to be a lifetime of work together. Thank you so much. 

All right, everybody, that’s a wrap. Have a wonderful week. Enjoy this podcast. if this resonates with you or with somebody that you know, if you would please share this podcast link out with your fellow colleagues, we would really appreciate that. Because our goal here is to support as many school leaders as possible and to expand your reach, your legacy, your impact to a limitless number of students and the lives of their families for this moment on.

So please feel free to share this with anybody who might enjoy this conversation. Thank you so much. We’ll talk to you guys next week. Take good care. Bye. 

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