The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Retirement Resistance

Are you feeling stuck in your career, unsure if it’s time to retire or try something new? Do you find yourself chasing those intermittent wins and dopamine hits, addicted to the rollercoaster of school leadership? If so, you’re not alone. 

Many educators struggle with the decision to stay or go, feeling a profound sense of commitment to their work even when it’s no longer serving them. That’s why this week, I explore the concept of retirement resistance and how it can keep principals trapped in a cycle of burnout and dissatisfaction.

Whether you’re considering retirement or a career change, this episode will help you gain clarity on your motivations and empower you to make a decision that aligns with your values and goals. I share insights from a client who recently made the decision to retire after years of feeling torn about it, and show you how to imagine your life outside of education and take back agency over your time and energy.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • How the emotional experience of school leadership can become addictive.
  • Why retirement resistance is common among educators and how it can prevent them from making empowered decisions about their careers.
  • The importance of recognizing the balance between good and bad days in your job and how it impacts your decision to stay or go.
  • Why chasing dopamine hits and intermittent wins can keep you trapped in a job that’s no longer serving you.
  • How to imagine your life outside of education and start embodying the version of yourself that has agency and control over your time and energy.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 357. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast. Hey, if you’re new, drop a five-star review, leave a message, let me know how you are, that you’re in my world, I would love to meet you and say hello. I just love the podcast, and I love this audience, and I love the impact that we are having as empowered principals. It’s outstanding.

Today’s topic is going to be a little bit different than something I usually speak on, but I think it’s important to discuss whether you are considering this idea right now or nearly in your future, or maybe it’s 20, 30, 40 years off, but it also could apply to deciding to leave education. So today’s topic is on retirement resistance. 

I was coaching one of my clients who’s worked with me for years, and she’s near retirement. We’ve been kind of dabbling in the conversation of retirement for quite a while, on and off, on and off, on and off. This year, she said to me, I’m finally ready. We talked about that. We celebrated it, and we talked about it, and we were reflecting on the journey from being a school leader into considering retirement and then not considering retirement and then going back and forth on if retirement’s the right thing, or if resignation is the right thing. So there was a whole conversation on retirement or resignation to go somewhere else and try something different. 

So I want to talk about something that I think is actually quite common, which is retirement resistance, or if you’re not at retirement age, you could apply it to resignation resistance. It basically means you desire to leave the current position you’re in. You want to move to another district. You want to move to another position. You want to retire altogether from education and either try something else or live your best retired life. There’s something that you’re desiring.

So what I have observed is that the institution of education, the job that we are in, I feel like as educators, there is something so fascinating about it because it feels so personal. Because there is such a conviction, and we have a very specific set of leadership values, teacher values, educator values. We have strong opinions. We have a lot of passion around students and teaching and learning and the well-being of our staff and our students and the community. 

We’re very committed to the work even when it isn’t serving us, even when we don’t feel good or we’re disgruntled, or we are feeling emotionally, or mentally unwell because of the pressure and the intensity of the job. But what I have found, and this could be true in other industries but I can only speak to my own industry. I have found it to be true that there is a level of commitment that’s so profound that it almost presents itself like an addiction. 

So hear me out. When you think about people, humans, we are motivated by how things feel to us, the emotional experience we have. We seek out pleasurable things. We try to avoid pain as much as possible, and we try to make things as easy as possible. That’s the motivational triad of the brain. Seek things for pleasure, avoid things that are painful, and make things as easy as possible. 

We want to experience as much pleasure and joy and happiness and delight and success and accomplishment, fulfillment, all of those things. We want to not experience anything on the negative end, the negative emotional end of the spectrum, the pain, grief, struggle, frustration, embarrassment, discouragement, anger. There’s a million words that we use to describe it. 

We’re either feeling good, or we’re feeling bad. We’re looking to feel good, or we’re not looking to feel bad. We’re trying to avoid that. Then we want things to be easy, flow, fun, simple. We want things to click.

So knowing that, what I have found to be interesting is what motivates humans. Let me put it this way. When you think about video games and how they’re designed, video games are designed for you to fail, fail, fail, feel bad, get frustrated, but then like double down, and I’m going to get this level. I’m going to do whatever it takes to pass this level. We get dug in and we get so tunnel vision into figuring it out. Then we do it. We get that little hit of success. It feels really good. It’s just a moment. Boom, we pass the level. Zing, zing, zing, celebrate, celebrate. 

Okay, now here’s the next level. Guess what? It’s a little bit harder, a little more challenging. Even though you just passed that level and you got one opportunity to celebrate and have fun, you got this little hit of adrenaline or dopamine, and now we’re back at it. So there’s 99% grind, 1% hit, then a little bit more discomfort, and then a hit. 

I feel like school leadership is a little bit addicting that way. We have a lot of days that feel hard and then we get that good day. We’re like, oh my God. I could do this forever. This is the best feeling in the world. It’s euphoric when we have a great day or a great week, or we’ve solved a problem, or we’ve helped a student or a teacher, or we hired somebody we just absolutely love. Whatever it is, there are things that just make us fly. We feel like we could fly, and we want to do it forever. We want that emotional experience forever. 

But as you know, every celebration, every emotional experience that we have as a school leader, it’s temporary. We get hard day, hard day, hard day, ooh, a little bit of a good day here, or even a neutral day, which feels better than a hard day. We’ll take it. It feels good. Then we have a really good day, and we’re like oh, I love this. I want to do more of this. Hard day, hard day, hard day, hard day, hard day, and then another good day. 

So this client of mine for the last three years has been hard, hard, hard, hard oh, a little good day. I love this. I want to do this for kids. We get so addicted to this rollercoaster of it’s really hard, but a good day. It’s really hard, but a good day. 

I want to offer something. I want you to notice when you look at your experience in school leadership, is it half good, half bad? Are you in balance with like yeah, there’s hard days, but there’s lots of good ones too? Or is it there’s a few more hard days, but there are plenty of good days? Or is it it’s actually mostly really hard, and I might have a little bit of good that gets sprinkled throughout? 

Because that is actually how we’re wired. It’s like struggle, problem solve. It’s hard. Then we get that little hit, and it carries us into the next celebration. But for some of us, it’s so far between that we haven’t even realized how long it’s been since we felt good, since we’ve been rested, since we feel sufficient. We feel accomplished. We feel productive. We feel helpful. We are fulfilled in our job. We’re content. We’re satisfied. We feel amazing about ourselves, about our staff, about our school. 

So notice, take a moment to notice. On the balance scale, are you feeling really balanced? Is it pretty balanced, or is it actually imbalanced, and you’ve just gotten used to this is the pattern. It’s mostly bad, and I get a little bit of good. I want you to notice that.

The reason I bring this up is that this feeling, this balance of feeling, it’s one of the aspects we look at when we’re making the decision to stay or to go. So if you’re near retirement, but you’re like well, but the kids. I’m going to miss the kids. There’s so much more to do. This is some of the things I’ve been hearing with my clients who are near retirement. But there’s so  much more to do. I wanted to accomplish this. I didn’t want to leave this unfinished. 

Here’s what I have to offer. That’s simply another way of the success addiction grabbing you, getting your attention. It’s like but wait, if you leave now, you won’t get to pass this level. But then oh, wait, there’ll be another level. Then you won’t get to pass that. Don’t leave now because there might be another good moment coming.

So we get on this roller coaster of like I need to stay. What about these kids? What’s going to happen? So notice that if you are at all thinking about resigning to try a new experience or retiring to have a completely different experience, what I want to offer is notice the balance or the imbalance. What is driving you to stay? What’s driving you to go? Okay.

Now, here’s the beautiful thing with my client who was teeter-tottering back and forth. Number one, her son called her out. She was telling him, and he’s like, “Mom, you know you’re going to have a great day. Then you’re going to be like I can do this for 15 more years.” He’s like, “Don’t do that to yourself. You’re ready. It’s time. You have been so committed to your job that you lack rest. You lack relaxation. I don’t know that you know how to relax.” So he was kind of calling her out on some of these things out of love, of course. 

Then a few days later, she runs into a friend of hers, a former colleague who had retired years before her. She had never seen this person again since retirement. They sat down, they talked, they ended up having a conversation, cup of coffee. 

Her friend asked her, what about you? Because my client was asking all about the retirement. How’s it going? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What do you do with your time? She said, “It’s great. It’s this and that. But what about you? What are your plans?” She’s like, well, teeter-tottering, right? Notice this. Notice why. Is it because you think there’s something good around the bend, something good around the corner? 

I’m not trying to talk you out of your job at all. But what I am saying is be honest with yourself about your reasons for considering retirement and the reasons for staying. If it’s to chase the intermittent win or that next dopamine hit, if that’s all it is, it looks like this. Oh, I want to see my school through. I just want this one thing that I’ve been working on. I want to see it to the next level. I want to see it become accomplished. Or I want to get my vision here. Or I just want to graduate this group of kids. 

The problem is there will always be a group of kids who promotes or graduates. There will always be a project that you’re undertaking or trying to see through. There is never a finish line. You call the finish line. You decide the finish line. 

What happens is we get so caught up in the trap of, you’ve got to just do this. You have to be the one. You can’t leave. You’ve got to stay. These kids need you. These teachers need you. This community needs you. it’s true. You’re amazing. But also, it also will live on far past your time there. Your legacy will live on. 

But these teachers and students and families, they grow up. They move on. They get other jobs. They go to different schools. They move in and out of communities. You cannot lock yourself into a position for life because there’s something more you want to accomplish, or there’s another little addiction hit that you want to feel or experience. 

One of the brilliant things that my client’s friend told her was, if you want to retire, but you’re nervous about being so used to being so busy and feeling really guilty about not working or not contributing or not being at your school, a lot of us don’t retire because we think we’re going to feel guilty or we’re going to have so much time. What are we going to do to fill up our time? 

This is what the friend said. It’s exactly what I would have said because it’s my exact sentiments. If you’re considering retirement or you’re considering a resignation to try something new, embody that version of you now while you’re still in the position. Get online. Look around. What would you do with your time? Plan it. Envision it. Imagine it. Let’s say you just can’t wait to sleep in. Practice sleeping in on the weekends. If you can’t wait to work out, start working out now. Maybe you do it on the weekends or maybe you do it once a week.

Start becoming the version of you that is already retired. Start prioritizing things that you would do. You want to join a book club. You want to take up pickleball. You want to do a dance class. You want to just read books and do nothing. Start doing those things now. 

At the very least, if you don’t have the energy or the focus or the capacity to do it now, plan for it. Here’s what my life would look like if I had every day available. I’d sleep in. I’d take a walk. I’d get a cup of coffee with a friend. I would go to water aerobics. I would be in a book club, or I would learn to play cards. Whatever you want. That’s the whole point. You take back agency over your life. You take back ownership of who you are. 

This job, it’s a beast. It will consume every ounce of you mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically. It will take and take and take. But what I see is that we’re a little bit addicted to those wins, to those hits. We never want to give that up because we feel guilty, or we’re afraid of what people will think, or we’re afraid we’re leaving somebody hanging. 

But the truth is this. You guys, I’ve done this. I had the same thoughts, the same fears. I resigned from my district of 22 years. It was such a hard decision at the time. I thought all of those worries and struggles and problems were going to come with me, and I was still going to worry about them, but I wouldn’t have the capacity to fix them. I couldn’t be further from the truth. 

What really happened when I resigned and started my company is that I had an entire new set of things to think about. I was thinking about starting this podcast and writing my book and learning how to market these coaching tools in a way that would support school leaders. 

I remember when I first resigned, I felt so guilty if I went to the grocery store during the week, like during a work day, quote unquote, if I ran an errand, or I was worried I’d be seen out in public. But I was like, wait a minute. I’m not even working for the district anymore. I’m an adult. Why am I feeling like a child who’s skipping school? That’s what it feels like. You go through these waves of guilt. 

I had to give myself permission like you are a grown woman. You can go to the grocery store on a Tuesday if you need to. No one’s controlling your life. It can feel in some cases, particularly site leadership, where you feel you’re under the control of the district leaders, of the policies, of the schedule, whatever. So it can feel so uncomfortable to retire or resign and be doing something else on a different schedule altogether. 

You’re going to have to work through like it’s safe. I have permission. It’s okay. This is my life. I’m the one in charge. I set the rules. I set the terms. I set the parameters of who I want to be. 

So if you’re considering retirement, if you’re looking at resigning and either getting out of education or trying something different in education or simply just trying a new school or a new district, you want to be planning for that now. You want to be thinking about it now. It’s almost November. You’re almost halfway there. It will come before you know it. You want to be able to start embodying what it feels like and envision who you will be as the version of you that has agency and control over your life and is no longer addicted to the very small hits that come with the happiness. 

Now, for those of you listening to this podcast and you’re like I’m so happy. I love my job. Of course, this isn’t directly for you, but I will say this. Do notice the dopamine chase. If you are chasing dopamine hits, notice it. 

Here’s what we do. When something good happens, we feel really good about ourselves, and we identify it as a good leader. When something bad happens, we feel terrible personally, and we make it something about us personally, and we tell ourselves, I’m not a good leader. This isn’t working. Notice the all-in-one thinking, notice the dopamine chase, and notice if you’re in resistance to a new experience, a new lifestyle. 

If at all you feel trapped, if at all you feel like education’s all you know, and you can’t imagine your life outside of education, please start imagining your life outside of education. This is a podcast to empower principals, but part of empowering you is reminding you that you are the one in control of your life. You have agency over your life. You get to make the rules, the parameters. You decide how many hours a day you work, how many hours a week you work, what district you work for. 

You can work hard for your district. You can work hard and love your job, but not if it’s consuming you, not if you feel afraid to leave. That’s not healthy. 

So contemplate this over the week as you’re listening to the podcast, as you’re thinking about your week, create awareness around why you love your job and are you dopamine chasing or do you genuinely feel a sense of balance, a sense of agency, a sense of empowerment over your life even though you are in school leadership. That’s the balance I help people with. 

We need people in school leadership, but we need them balanced. We need them to feel empowered. We need them to feel like they have agency over their life and some level of control over their time and how they spend it and when they say no and not just chasing the one good day every few weeks or the one good week every few months.

If you know somebody who’s in education who is considering retirement or isn’t happy at all, and they’re wondering why they feel so trapped, please share this podcast with them. They don’t understand why they feel so addicted to the job, why they feel so resistant to quitting or resigning or retiring. This is why. It takes a well-managed mind to be able to find the joy in all of the days and to manage those hard days and to not make it mean something about us.

Something to consider. Please share this. If you know anybody who is struggling or thinking of retirement but on the fence or thinking of moving up, promoting, resigning, getting a different job, any kind of transition they’re looking for, share this with them. Share the podcast with them. Share this episode particularly or the podcast in general because we want to help people make empowered decisions and to feel a sense of control and agency over your life. 

Your job should not be dictating every aspect of your life. If it feels that way, it really is time to reconsider if you have any resistance to resigning, to promotions, to a new change, or to retirement. So with that, have a beautiful week, and I will talk with you all next week. Take good care of yourselves. Bye. 

Hey empowered principal. If you enjoyed the content in this podcast, I invite you to join The Empowered Principal® Collaborative. It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to experience exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. 

Look, you don’t have to overwork and overexert to be a successful school leader. You’ll be mentored weekly and surrounded by supportive likeminded colleagues who truly understand what it means to be a school leader. So join us today and become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country. Just head on over to angelakellycoaching.com/work-with-me to learn more and join. I’ll see you inside of The Empowered Principal® Collaborative. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | School Scores

Do you ever feel discouraged or distraught by your school’s performance score? As a principal, it’s easy to take these ratings very personally and let them define your sense of success or failure as a leader. But what if I told you that this scoring system is designed to make you feel insufficient, no matter how well your school performs?

If you find yourself getting caught up in the trap of chasing perfection or letting a low score define your worth as a leader, this episode is for you. The truth is these scores are often presented as a representation of our school’s quality, but they don’t tell the whole story.

Join me this week as I provide some perspective on school scores and how they can impact your mental and emotional well-being as a principal. Your school score does not define you, your staff, your students, or your school. In this episode, I invite you to focus on the sufficiency of where your school is at right now and celebrate the progress you’re making.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why school performance scores are designed to make you feel insufficient, no matter how well your school performs.
  • How to separate your school’s score from the character and integrity of yourself, your staff, and your students.
  • The difference between insufficiency and failure.
  • Why it’s important to focus on progress rather than perfection.
  • How chasing after test scores and perfection is a trap that can lead to burnout and turnover.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 356. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast. The podcast is one of my favorite things to do with my work day. I love it so much. I just really enjoy being here with you. So thank you. Thank you for being here with me. 

I want to take a moment and just share with you how much fun and how much amazement is being created in EPC this fall. There is a knockout group of school leaders who are so passionate. They have such amazing vision. They have such incredible insight. They’re just like you. They are struggling mentally, emotionally. They’re fatigued. They feel overworked. They’re feeling a little bit insufficient. Then they have a great day. Then they have a hard day. It’s all of it. It’s the full package. 

EPC has just been such a wonderful container, a wonderful place for people to come and feel seen and feel heard and express how they’re feeling. We can laugh about it. We can cry about it. We are having the best time. It’s magical. I’m so honored to be in this group with all of these women who are truly masterminding.

What I mean by that is it’s not just me teaching. Yes, I do teaching. I do coaching. But we’re sharing ideas, strategies, tools, what worked, what didn’t, resources, just experience with one another. It’s phenomenal.  I am blown away at the capacity and the potentiality of these leaders. They are phenomenal. So a shout out to all of them who are in EPC. It is truly a pleasure to be working with them. 

All right. On to today’s topic. I’m going to dive right in because this came up today in a coaching session. If one principal is feeling it, my guess is that many, many more are out there feeling it as well. So there are states that score schools. You might get a numeric score, a number score. You might get a letter grade score. You might get stars, a star system. There’s many kinds of rating systems that are out there by usually by state or maybe by county where your school gets some kind of public score. That score is supposedly a representation of the performance of your school. 

I want to break this down. One of my clients was feeling very discouraged and distraught because she didn’t get a score that she wanted for her school. It didn’t feel good. It was a letter score. It was below average, and it felt terrible. I have coached so many people on this. So, I want to provide some perspective here because this can really take a principal down, these scores.

I want to first tell you that the score is designed for you to feel either really, really good or really, really bad. There isn’t a whole lot of sufficiency that feels good. It lands. We’re good. Let’s keep going. It’s like yay, we made it. We got the A, or we’re above. That’s great. Woo, woo, woo. We make it mean all these wonderful things about our school. Or we get the D or the F or however they grade you or the one star or the low numeric score. Oh, terrible. We’re failures. We didn’t do our job. Everything’s going in the handbasket to you know where. It’s all terrible. 

It’s either like, yay. It’s all great. Or, boo, sadness. It’s all terrible. But we take it very personally as the leader because we feel like it’s our burden to bear. If we’re the leader and the school does great, we’re doing a good job. If we’re the leader and the school doesn’t get the grade, then we’re not doing a good job. It’s something on us. 

Couple things I want to say about this. Number one, it is a team effort. It’s not just you. It’s the team. So you want to consider that when you’re thinking about any kind of approach adjustment that you’re going to make. Keep in mind that you alone are not doing all the teaching. You alone are not doing all the behavior management. You alone are not running the school. It’s not just you. It’s a huge team. 

But even more importantly than that, there is a difference between insufficiency and failure. So you can set a goal, and let’s say you aimed for a certain score or you aimed for a certain number or certain number of stars and you missed the goal. So somebody might say to you, you failed to hit the goal. That does not mean that you’re insufficient as a leader. They’re two separate things.

Insufficiency is built into the system by design. What I mean by that is that this testing system is designed and the grading system that they’re giving schools right now, it’s designed for you to feel insufficient. Literally, you’re either doing perfection, or you’re insufficient somewhere, right? 

Here’s the example that I used with my client. Number one, there will always be a gap of some kind in a school. There’s where you’re at and where you want to be because as humans in the business of developing humans, that’s what education is. There will always be a gap of here’s where we’re at and here’s where we’re going and here’s where we’re growing, right? 

So there’s where you’re at in this moment, but if you think where you’re at right now isn’t good enough, it doesn’t matter if you get to the next level, because then there will be a next level and then you’ll think you’re insufficient there.

There’s always a gap because we are wired to evolve and grow. Okay, so there’s always where you’re at and there’s always a where you want to be. It is the process of evolution. It’s not that we’re chasing perfectionism. 

It’s like saying this, I live in a house. I love my house. My house is great. I love the fireplace. I love the windows. You know what? There are some quirks to this house. The upstairs faucet’s a little leaky. The washing machine is older, and it kind of bangs around sometimes. There’s a crack, a chip over here in the paint, a crack over here. We’ve got to repair. Always something that is in need of repair. There’s a little project, a house project. 

So you can love your house. You can be sufficient in your house. It’s a great house. It has a roof. It has four walls. It has windows. It has comfortable beds. It’s got bathrooms. It’s got running water, electricity. Oh my goodness, internet. It has so many creature comforts. I love my house, and I desire a newer home or a bigger home or a different location home. You can love what you have and be in it and desire. You can have a gap in where you’re at now and a desire that you have.

But when you live in your home and you love it, your experience of that moment is I love this, and I’ll love that too. I’ll love where I’m at right here, and I will love where we’re going to the next house. The same is true for your school. Your school is your home. You can love your school. Yes, it has projects because it isn’t perfect. 

Guess what? You could build the best home, custom made super design mansion on the best land, on the best views and the best property. It’s still going to have a punch list. It will still have imperfections. You can focus on the imperfections, or you can focus on the sufficiency of loving your home as is. 

Same with our schools. You can love your school, and it can have a punch list. You can have worked on this project last year, and in the house context, maybe you put new windows in last year and this year you’re going to replace the floors, or you’re going to upgrade the kitchen or one of the bathrooms. You don’t do it all at once typically. Even if you did, there would still be a punch list. There would still be things that weren’t quite perfect. 

We’re not going for perfection, but the system of education has set us up for perfection, which means it set us up to feel insufficient. It set us up for failing. If you were to go from a D to a C and then a C to a B, you’re going to feel amazing, but someone’s going to say but you’re not at an A. Then  let’s say you get to the A. 

What’s going to happen if your school is at an A and it performs consistently? Let’s say 80 or 90% of kids are performing on grade level or above. The culture is great. Parents love it. Students, everybody’s happy. It’s this little pretty school and pretty scores and pretty, then they’re going to say oh, our grading system must be too easy. It must be too easy to achieve. We’re going to make it harder. We’re going to change a test for the kids, the rating system for the school. 

The job is to make it harder. The whole system is designed by designed for you to feel insufficient. You cannot get caught in the trap. It’s an illusion. You’re being sold a game that you’re actually not playing. The game is not chase after test scores and get perfection and get all the A’s and get all the five stars and get the whatever score. That’s the facade that you’ve been sold on, but that’s not it. It’s a hook. 

I want you to consider what you’re making your school score mean about you, about your students, about your staff, about your school community. Are you taking it and applying it so personally and so heavily that you feel like you can hardly breathe when you look at that score? That score means nothing. Somebody made it up. 

I know you’ll say, but it matters to the superintendent and it matters. It matters. It matters. It matters because we taught people. Here’s what an A means. Here’s what a B means. Here’s what a C means. Here’s what a D means. Here’s what an F means. In the field of education, don’t you dare ever consider getting an F because if you do, that’s very bad because it describes your character, your capacity, your effort. 

We’re making grades mean something very personal about the human character, the human, the internal humanness of the student, of the teacher, of the principal. When, in fact, it’s a made up score, scored by humans who made up the system, who are also imperfect, but they’re hiding behind a rating that they’re not giving themselves, but they’re making it mean something about you personally. They’re making mean something about your students and your staff and your ability to be inspirational and to be engaging and to what? 

No, the test isn’t measuring what you actually do in your job. What you actually do in your job is build up emotional regulation in students and staff, maturity, communication, connection, developing not just their academics, but their humanness, their ability to socialize, their ability to problem solve and resolve conflicts and communicate effectively and physically develop, especially with the younger ones, right? They’re developing their bodies physically, kinesthetically. That’s what we’re doing. 

We don’t measure those things. We don’t measure the character of somebody, but yet we make the academic grade mean something about their character. Don’t fall into the trap. It’s a trap. It’s a loop. They want you to feel bad so that you’ll do more. But then what’s happening is you go out and do more and burn out and then you leave, and they think the solution is we get different people in. That’s not it.

The difference between schools that do well and schools that don’t is everybody feels great about being there, about what learning looks and feels like, about what teaching looks like, and they’re not focused on the test score or what they make the score mean. What they’re doing is they’re re-establishing the meaning behind it. They’re interpreting test scores differently, school scores differently. Your school score does not identify you unless you let it. 

When you think about the community, oh, that school got a D, that must be a bad principal. That must be a bad school. You have to interpret what does this D mean? Is it true? Did we just not put any effort in? Did we not try with kids? Did we not teach this year? Or were we developing young humans? Were we showing up every day, giving it everything we had in spite of what we might have been dealing with on our campus, mentally, emotionally? 

You were not a grade. That is not your identity. The D is designed to push the most painful human emotion of insufficiency, but it does not push the button of inspiration. It’s desperation, pressure. It’s a pain point used to try and, I don’t know what, control, manipulate. Create what? Pressure, power. I’m not sure why we’re doing this to people, but it doesn’t feel good. 

When school leaders don’t feel good, their schools don’t do well. When kids don’t feel good about themselves as students, they don’t perform well. When teachers don’t feel good about themselves as teachers, they don’t teach well. If there’s one thing that I could offer you this school year is that your test score doesn’t equal, or your school score, any score. It doesn’t equal your character. It doesn’t equal the character of your teachers, the integrity behind your work, the alignment around what you’re doing. It’s simply a made-up score. 

Now, if we could flick it to the side of the road and never have to deal with it again, that’d be amazing. But we are dealing with the institution and the systems that are in place, and the rating systems are a part of that. Your school’s going to get rated. It’s what you make it mean. It’s how you interpret it. Is it from insufficiency, or is it the house where it’s sufficient, and yeah, it’s got a punch list. It’s got projects that need doing. 

But there’s always a project. There’s always something we can be tweaking and working on, and changing and improving and upgrading. But we’re not in a rush. We’re going to triage. We’re going to prioritize. We’re going to do this project this fall, and then maybe we’ll do another project in the spring. Then we’re going to do another project next fall, and then we’re going to maybe do this little project in the winter. We have seasonal projects at our school. It’s a home. It’s evolving. There will never not be a gap. 

So instead of focusing on the gap, you can focus on the sufficiency of where you’re at right now. Because I promise you this, if you were to hate your home the whole time you lived in it and was always looking at what’s broken, what’s leaking, what’s squeaking, what’s not fixed, what’s scratched, what’s chipped, and every day you just focus on all those little things that drive you crazy and you can’t stand it, promise you this. It won’t be long before you move into your beautiful, big, custom-built, brand new mansion home, and you’re going to start to see the little imperfections. 

That big beautiful house that you worked so hard and thought it was going to be perfect when you got there, you’re going to find that it has punch lists and imperfections just like the old house did. It’s about how you feel about yourself and your school and your staff and your students and what you make those scores mean.

Separate the score from the character of the person. Your school scores do not define you, your staff, your students, or your school. If there is work to do, it isn’t a problem. All schools have it. If you were to have an A rating, I promise you this, they’d rewrite the rating, and you’d be back down because the goal is evolution. 

So focus on what’s progressing, what’s evolving, what’s transforming, what you’re learning as a leader, what your teachers are learning as teachers, the joy and experience of engaging with students. Watching a child go from not being able to regulate themselves at all to having a day where everything’s calm, that’s a huge win. Having five students who can’t regulate down to three students who can’t regulate, that’s a huge win. 

I want you to consider the score has nothing to do with your integrity, with your values, with your character, with who you are. Because insufficiency has nothing to do with failure. Failure is just missing the mark. I set a goal, I missed the mark. Sufficiency is whether I believe in myself and whether I value the progress I did make and the things I did do versus looking at everything I didn’t do. 

I know this might feel controversial in your mind. It might really rub up against some of your belief systems and what you make it mean about yourself or your school. But I promise you, that school score does not have to define you. If it’s something you struggle with, you can join EPC. The doors are open in October because the fall dip happened, and I know that people are struggling. This is the time when most people join. 

So I’m opening the doors in October to let you in, to get you in through the rest of the year. So come on in. The doors will not be open the rest of 2024. It’s open through October. Come on in. We would love to support you. We can turn this around, I promise you. Please go have an amazing week. Take good care of yourselves, and I will talk to you all next week. Take care. Bye. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader. 

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Take Control of Your Reputation: PR Strategies for Educational Leaders with Dr. Jamay Fisher

As educators who are committed to helping our communities grow and being leaders in our own space, it’s important for us to manage both our personal public image and that of our school the best we can. A rise in social media presence on our campuses brings a new element into our understanding of leadership, but it’s not something we’re typically taught.

This week, I sit down with Dr. Jamay Fisher who brings a unique perspective to the topic of public image and school leadership. As an academic advisor and branding expert who has worked in both education and politics, Dr. Jamay sheds light on the importance of intentionally shaping your reputation and legacy to make a bigger impact in education, and what it takes to be a top-class leader.

Join us in this episode to hear how to build an empowering public image that expands your reach and impact. Dr. Jamay shares valuable insights on the importance of being intentional about crafting your public image. She also offers strategies for proactively managing your public relations, withstanding turbulence, and taking charge of your legacy.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why your public image is being crafted with or without your input, and how to take control of the process.
  • How to align your personal identity to maximize your impact as a leader.
  • The importance of being selective and strategic in your associations and publications.
  • Why focusing on your strengths and successes is key to withstanding turbulence as a leader.
  • How to craft an empowering image for your school or district that attracts high-quality talent.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode  355. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Angela: Hello, empowered principals. Welcome to today’s episode. I have a very special guest for you. Her name is Dr. Jamay Fisher. She and I have just recently contacted one another and felt like we became friends overnight. It was sensational to meet. 

We actually met, and I’m going to have her tell you a little bit more of this story, but we actually met through a different coaching program. We were both clients of a different coaching program, a business building coaching program. She found me in that program, and we connected. I loved her work and her message so much. It is such a valuable conversation that we are about to have to share with you guys today. 

I asked her if she could please be on the podcast because I think this message, this conversation will stimulate some really rich thoughts about the upcoming school year and just development as a leader.  So Jamay, welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast.

Jamay: Thank you, Angela. I’m really excited to talk more with you about this specific topic. Like you mentioned, we talked about a lot of different things, but we both really care about educators, and we really care about leaders in education specifically and the industry. We especially connected on that because I come from the world of education too. 

Currently, I advise experts on best practices in leadership public image. I have been in this work for a long time, and I come from the classroom just like the rest of us and we really care about education. So we’re going to talk all the things today about leadership and public image and all of that. 

Angela: Yes, and I love her unique niche in terms of the field of education. So definitely, you have the teaching background, you have the leadership background, you have administrative background. What’s interesting about the work that you do, and you can talk more about this, but what I love about your work is your work at the university level in teaching educators the art of PR. So can you just speak a little bit more about that aspect of your professional work? 

Jamay: It is definitely an art indeed. I did not come into education thinking I wanted to work in PR. I actually came into education because I wanted to leave PR. I worked on Capitol Hill. I come from the world of politics. My first degrees are in political science, and I worked on Capitol Hill for two members of Congress, one senator and one member of the House, both representing the state of Minnesota.

I loved it. I loved being in PR. I love being in press and handling the media. After a reelection scare, I wanted something that I wanted to do that was also just as exciting as working on the Hill. I decided that was education. So the member of Congress I worked for was a science teacher for St. Paul Public Schools before he ran for Congress. I had a lot of friends who are in education and educators. So that’s why I decided to be an educator too.

So I kind of came into education because I wanted to leave the world of PR. But as PR professionals know, once people find out you do PR, they think you’re going to do PR all the time. 

Angela: Yes.

Jamay: But it kind of was part of what I did because, I mean, I have a degree in elementary education and middle grade social studies. So when I went into teaching, I had the press in my room all the time, and I was interviewing at newspapers and there were always tours in my classroom. I always knew how to manage my students very well. We all knew what to do when the media showed up. It was like so exciting. I just thought everybody did it.

But come to find out because of the way I went about it, they wanted me to work at district headquarters. So I worked at district center, and I developed like superintendents, cabinet members, and things like that and the broader public about PR. I was doing coaching at that level. That’s what led me into getting the doctorate and doing this work at universities too. 

So that’s what brought me into this work. I am so committed to, especially in our current times. Some of us grew up when social media was not as big as it is now. The media is still the media, but it operates in a different way. I read an article this morning about teachers and educators and even members of education and leadership who worked in cabinet who lost their jobs because they did not necessarily know how to manage the media well.

I think that as educators who are committed to helping educators grow and being leaders in our own space, it’s important for us to know how to manage the media the best we can. I don’t think we’re typically taught that, so. 

Angela: Definitely not taught that. I agree with you. I think that media in general, particularly social media, is an entirely newer layer that has come into our schools. We have students with phones and access to media. We have teachers and staff, and we have families.

There is always a presence of social media on our campuses, which brings a new element into our leadership understanding and the skillset required of us to navigate that. 

I know I have been impacted by social media. Something as simple as like the newspaper, the local newspapers are now electronic. They have blogs, they have comments and opinion sections where people can go in anonymously or not and communicate and speak their opinions regarding you or your school or a staff member.

So there is an additional layer to be thinking about in social media. So tell us more about some of the teachings that you do with your students at the university level in terms of ideas, tips, strategies for them to think about as they’re entering into the field of education. 

Jamay: Yeah, so really when you really get focused on how you want to be, not only in your school, but we’re public employees, most of us. Even if you work in a private institution, you’re still kind of public. 

Angela: You’re serving the public, yeah. 

Jamay: We have a public image. You don’t have to craft your public image. It’s going to happen to you regardless if you do it or not. But if you craft it, it makes everything easier for you. So this is what I teach students in my public and my private practice. It really helps with making student outcomes easier, interacting with family, even moving around the profession. You get more power regarding how you negotiate contracts and the offers you get as educators.

When you specifically craft your leadership public image, it just makes it easier for you. I have to personally admit when I came into education, even though I come from the world of PR, I never really thought of investing in my own PR or my own leadership image. It’s just something that I naturally did. So I never really invested in it per se. But just like others, like we just kind of take on what the organization or the district is doing for their PR, which I think is important. We’re entities of that organization. 

But I knew as I went into the classroom and I had more media, I wanted to  help people beyond like the metrics of what the district counted. So that meant I needed to create an image. Like I wanted to help the profession writ large. So I knew at that point that I needed to create a leadership image.

This is what I teach my students too. I think we need to know about crafting an image because it is a personal preference. You don’t have to craft a leadership public image if you don’t want to, it’s all about preference, but as long as you know your reason why. Your image will be crafted. 

Image is like, basically when I think of leadership, public image in the world of education, it’s like reputation on steroids. So when you craft it on purpose is reputation on steroids. We all have a reputation regardless if we focus on it or not. But focus on it, it just makes things easier. 

This is sort of what I teach my students. I teach them from a couple of different lenses about how to do it. I think I have them first think about okay, think about your favorite like principal in your district or outside of your organization or your favorite superintendent. Like what makes that person great? Not only are they creating amazing student outcomes, I mean, of course they are, but what really makes them like so cool and so great? Think about that. I think that’s sometimes a great place to start.

Angela: Yeah, that is. I loved what you said that your image is being crafted whether you are doing it with intention and with consciousness or not. Because we are public figures, we do have a public image. We have a reputation. What I love about your work is that it gets really specific about the intentionality and the crafting of how to do that.

What I teach in EPC and the Empowered Principal® Collaborative is establishing your identity, how you self-identify. I think you and I were talking about this in our last conversation was, you first have to create your own identity. How do you identify as a school leader professionally? How do you identify personally? 

I think you and I can discuss this. My take on this would be to be in alignment with your identity as a person so that you’re not creating some false persona of who you want people to see you as an image, but being that person and being in alignment with that so that your image is actually you. 

Jamay: Exactly. That is really critical. The work that you’re doing with your leaders is really critical, and that’s definitely where to start. Then when you think about because that’s just going to help you create better student outcomes. It’s going to help you not have burnout and recruit better teachers. 

But in terms of public image, I’ve worked with a lot of superintendents and people who have really big images. It’s really important, even for our teacher leaders, because I was a teacher leader doing this, right? Think about our associations. Think about who you are. That’s the work you do with your educators. But then think about your association because a leadership brand image, one of the first things you should do or one of the things you should do is create your associations. 

So we’ll help you withstand turbulence in the profession as things change. As we know in the media, a lot of superintendents, teachers, and districts have a lot of turbulence in the media. So if you create strong associations, it will help you withstand turbulence in the profession. 

How I teach this is I think about educators who write op-eds. Think about where you’re putting the op-eds and what you’re saying. What outlets are you submitting op-eds to? One of the things that I teach my leaders in my public and private practice is like okay, where are you presenting? Which conferences? Just not anywhere, but on purpose based on what you’re teaching. Which, Angela, what you teach is knowing who you are. 

Angela: Yes.

Jamay: Are you presenting or are you publishing op-eds and outlets that reflect who you truly are? Or are you coming off as, quote-unquote, opportunistic? People kind of see that. Another example in education we use in terms of publishing is the ASCD magazines, like the Educational Leadership ASCD magazine is a very reputable publication. You might get a publication there or you might get an interview. 

You’re doing this because you have to know your big why. Like, why are you doing this? Most of the time people in education create leadership brand images because they want to make a bigger difference in the profession outside of immediately what they’re doing in their school. So that’s one way I think about creating a leadership brand image and how I teach it too. So. 

Angela: Yeah, that’s why I feel like our work that we do, it’s in conjunction with one another. It’s in combination because I cover leadership, right? So I’m doing, here’s how to be a new leader. Here’s how to approach situations. Here’s how to time manage, plan, balance. I’m trying to teach them that identity and stepping into their empowerment. I love this content because it’s so specific but yet it’s so critical because I do think, and I’ve had this experience personally. 

I wish I had had you as a mentor back 10, 15 years ago when I was a principal, but it matters. What people think of you matters. If you’re out of alignment with who you are, or if you are playing principal by day and like, I don’t know. It’s not aligned to you personally, like you’re one human. So.

Or if somebody misconstrues and now there’s a perception that isn’t you, isn’t in alignment with who you actually are, even that is something to have to negotiate, to navigate through because you have to deal with people’s misperceptions of your personality, your persona, your image. Like you said, navigate those storms. 

I have found personally and with my clients, the best way to navigate through the storms, and you’ll have them because you’re a leader. You’re a public figure is alignment. It’s knowing yourself so deeply that you tether yourself in what is true for you, where your values are, where you stand and owning mistakes. We’re human. It’s not to say you’re going to wipe your image squeaky clean for the public. It’s to own our humanness. I’m sure you have ways that you teach this.

But what speaks to me is you’re not here to avoid public comment, scrutiny, or misunderstandings. It sounds to me like you’re asking people to look at their image as a part of their job and craft it proactively knowing that, and those associations. That’s something I hadn’t thought of before. I appreciate that input because that is a part of image.

But you’re doing this proactively, but to strengthen who you are and grounding yourself in certainty so that when the storms hit, you are tethered during them. 

Jamay: That’s one element of it. So going back to creating these other associations in higher ed. Let’s use higher ed as an example. Each state in each region has their own like whatever associations, but let’s think about an example in higher ed, and that might be Harvard. So when people think of Harvard, they think of excellence, like the best in class, the gold standard. So when families or the public, they know Harvard, but when they meet you, they don’t know you. 

So let’s say, okay, they know Harvard, and they know what Harvard represents, but they don’t know you. So when they get to interact with you, you might have like your degree on the wall, which would say Harvard. Or they find out from your resume or your CV that you went to Harvard. So they create an association. Oh, Harvard represents like best in class. Oh, this person must be an excellent educator. So they associate you with excellence.

That goes back to where you’re putting your op-eds and where you’re showing up if you’re writing, like it’s a creation of association. They may not know you as an educator, like families or other people in the profession, but when they see your association, it’s about being intentional. Then putting things on repeat, not just doing it once. Not just going to Harvard and saying I tick that box, I’m done. But then putting it on repeat and sharing it with the public and then evaluating it through like inquiry or action research. 

I would say this is one thing that Angela is good at too. That’s why I think your work is so important, Angela, is because you help people with like inquiring about their profession outside of their institution. Like, I think that it’s important for educational leaders to seek like mentorship or guidance or advising outside their district resources because their district resources is very focused on the district. 

But when you want to craft a leadership public image, you need to think about okay, how can I impact my own practice and the profession outside of just what the district is doing and then putting it on repeat and sharing it. So that is the other thing I think that is important to teach when we’re doing the work on public image. 

Angela: Yes. This aligns to my message on in order to be, I feel like this is the equation that maximizes empowerment for school leaders. It’s your identity then creates an influence. You could add image into this too. Like your identity and your image creates influence, which creates impact and that creates a legacy. 

Jamay: Yes. 

Angela: So like, if you’re a leader who really strives to be the top of class, make the biggest difference, you have to identify as a leader. You go internal and identify yourself and then you create this image, and you would work with Jamay to build up that PR and that image of where you’re at and where you want to be. That builds up your level of influence, which generates impact. 

That is where you craft a legacy that goes so far beyond who you are today at this particular position in this particular school. You’re crafting an image for your life, your career. The ripple effect of that and the impact you’re creating, it has no bounds. 

It’s limitless because you are expanding your reach. You’re expanding your image, right? To not only be, I’m the principal at this school right now. I’m an empowered educator whose legacy and image continues to evolve and expand throughout the course of my entire career. 

Jamay: Exactly. That’s a commitment to the profession and the career. Like a lot of educational leaders can’t withstand turbulence because first of all, they haven’t created a series of association. It’s just not one. Let’s say you didn’t go to Harvard. You don’t have to go to Harvard. You could do anything you want, but it has to be a series of associations, and you have to put it on repeat. 

That’s where it’s a lot of distractions, especially as leaders. We get pulled in a lot of directions. So it’s important that we put our image on repeat. It helps us to withstand the turbulence that might come up in an organization or like just in life in general. You can withstand it better when you put it on repeat, you share it, you make more associations. 

I think one thing that I noticed too, a lot of people don’t do this, clearly Angela and I are fans of doing this, but a lot of educators in leadership like who are like teacher leaders or licensed admin, some of them worry about giving up their successes now. They worry that they’re going to lose what they’ve already done. So they decide that they don’t want to grow an image because images grow over time. Like it’s an ongoing associations and it evolves, everything in the universe changes.

So people are worried okay, I’m just going to stay at this school. I’m going to stay in my little zone, and I’m not going to do anything more because I’m worried that I’m going to lose successes, the success that I’ve created. But one thing that we know about leadership studies in general, especially creating a public image in educational leadership is the more you are intentional about your action research and the more you are doing this on repeat and sharing, you actually get clearer and clearer, and you grow your impact. 

Angela: Yes, that is definitely an important point. You can stay at a school. You can stay in a position. It’s not about like growing in terms of like climbing the corporate ladder per se or like running around and doing as many positions as possible to like rack up experience. 

It’s less about that and more about I call it the deeper work, like the under the surface work where it is refinement and nuance and detail and growing and exploring and expanding ourselves, whether you stay in a position or whether you grow. Staying in a position because you’re afraid is different than staying in a position because you’re taking it to the next level.

So your image could be a person who stayed in an organization for 10, 20, 30 years, but did you continue to evolve that organization and contribute to that organization and to expand your ability to lead and to leverage and to inspire people throughout that organization for the duration of your tenure, whether it’s two years or 40 years, right? 

Jamay: Yeah, exactly. Doing that is what makes you grow it. You get clearer and clearer the more you grow your image and the associations you make because you’re making trade-offs. Angela, you address a lot of matters in burnout. A reason some people have burnout is because they’re not clear about their associations and their trade-offs. 

Angela: Can you say more about that? 

Jamay: It’s always about, okay, I’m going to stop doing this because I want this to happen instead. So kids are always going to learn. You don’t have to create a public image for kids to learn if you’re doing your job really well. Kids are going to learn. But people come to you and they ask you to do things that are not necessarily related to the kind of impact and change you want to make in the profession.

So you will have to say no to that. For me personally, that was one of the harder things I had to learn in terms of growing my own image as an academic and a mentor advisor in the world is that I can’t do it all, but I wanted to make a bigger impact. So how can I make a bigger impact? That’s different for everyone, but it is constantly a matter of trade-offs. So doing things that will help you help more people in the industry, so. 

Angela: Yeah, no, that’s constraint. I think constraint actually is one of the tickets to success because we spread ourselves a mile wide and an inch deep versus like I’m going to hone this skill, or I’m going to hone this area of expertise, right? Doctors, general doctors, right? Then there are like specialists, and they can take that work to a level that when you’re trying to learn it all, you’re not going to be able to be a specialist in that area. 

So that’s another thing to consider in terms of your image and your PR stance is like, are you going to be an expert in a particular area of education? Are you going to be somebody who’s like done a breadth of experiences? You’ve tried a lot of seats on the bus. 

There’s no right or wrong way to develop your image. It’s the image that you want to create, but it’s about being conscious and intentional with that creation of that PR image and developing it in a way that continues to serve yourself, your organization, and the greater good, right, of education at large.

Angela: Yeah, and for those people in your audience who have written dissertations or considering writing dissertations, this is kind of when you think about it in terms of like higher ed and writing a dissertation. Okay, so when you write your literature review, even if you’re doing action research in a school or inquiry in a school and you’re not doing it for a dissertation but you’re doing it for professional development. Like there are certain things you include in the lit review and certain things you don’t include in a lit review. 

So let’s say you’re working on like teacher retention. So you’re trading off writing about teacher retention versus like standardized testing. We are in the industry of helping kids learn. So like whatever you do, like you’re still going to help kids learn at the end of the day, but you’re just focusing on, and this is for leadership public image too. Like if you want your expertise to be on teacher retention, you might not show up on an interview related to like standardized testing, for example. So it’s just a really always a thoughtful, intentional choose this or this. 

Angela: Yes, can I switch gears a little bit for a moment? Because I think we talked about this last time we spoke as well, and shifting gears from like the personal identity and the personal image and what you’re crafting for yourself and your legacy in terms of your career. Thinking about how you craft the image of the school you’re working for. 

So I work with a lot of principals or perhaps superintendents who are listening, crafting an image for their organization, whether that’s at the site level or the district level. Do you work with people on that topic?

Jamay: I do, and I think they go hand in hand. 

Angela: Yes. 

Jamay: So they do go hand in hand. you want to definitely think about like your school improvement plan, like your SIP, or your like strategic plan for the district in terms of how you, the matters of public image that you’re working on. So they definitely feed into each other. So let me make sure I answer your question.

But yes, I think these things all work together. I think they, I believe that as educators committed to the profession that they should be in accord. So I think that they need to inform each other because that’s how you excel with the community members, with like creating like strategic plans. It’s kind of how you get things done in the district too. When you think about, okay how can I craft this strategic plan? I’ve done strategic planning for school districts and many of your listeners have. So how can I craft this strategic plan in a way that aligns to the values of this particular community? 

So it’s similar. It’s crafting your own personal PR is similar to the work you do at the district level. It’s just thinking about it in a broader way. That’s all. 

Angela: It makes it feel doable and aligned, right? So it’s like, if I’m crafting and doing this work at an individual level, I’m going to expand that into the organizational level because that way you’re not trying to craft two different messages or two different kinds of images.

I have been working with people on we’ve been hearing in the industry that there is a shortage, right? There is a teacher shortage. It’s hard to hire staff. I’m coaching people to stop telling themselves that because that is actually when you keep telling yourself, there’s nobody out there who wants the job. There’s not enough people or there’s not any good people. That’s the experience you end up creating for yourself. 

So you want to be cautious about how you speak about incoming people. There are people graduating all of the time. There are people moving all of the time. One of the things we’re working on, and I think your work would really expand this message to schools out there, we need to market our image, our brand per se, to the people who want to work at our school.

If we want to attract high quality teachers or new assistants or paraprofessionals or maintenance staff, whoever you’re hiring, anybody, we want to share the strengths of our school and the image of our school in a way that makes people more interested in wanting to learn more and wanting to work with us.

Because our brand isn’t just about who we are. Our brand is about our team and the culture of our school and our values in the organization and what’s in it for people. Why should I apply to this school or this district? Would you agree that is part of image as well? 

Jamay: It is. Not only, like you said, it’s our own individual leadership image, but how is it complementing the district? What you focus on, you get more of. So if you’re talking about the lack of XYZ, the lack of like teachers in the profession or hiring, you’re going to get more of that. 

It’s also okay, what can we control? Getting back to focusing on like empowerment, the core of your work, and how can we be empowered around this instead of outsourcing a broader narrative? Like not saying I don’t believe that we should be Pollyanna about certain things, but what we do focus on, we get more of. So if you want to focus on a certain lack, you will create more of that lack.

So how can we make, how can I, as a leader, when I’m out like writing op-eds, doing ASCD work, presenting at international and national conferences, how can I contribute to the image of the organization I’m affiliated with? So how is my work complementing the district? 

If I’m going to conferences and I’m constantly talking about how there is a lack of talent, is that really helping me or the district? It’s not. How can we focus on like what we can control instead of outsourcing instead? So. 

Angela: Yes, yeah, no, that is so great. I think when you are intentional with crafting an image, a PR image for yourself and perhaps for your school, that is the conduit through which you communicate your identity, your school’s identity, your district’s identity about this is who we are. This is what we value. This is our approach. These are our kids. This is what we highlight. This is what we focus on because I believe at the end of the day, your image, your branding, your personal, what people think about you, it all comes down to the energy behind you. 

What you believe about yourself, what you believe about staff and students, what you believe about the work that you’re doing. The more empowering thoughts that you think about yourself and your image, and you have thoughts about the public and they have thoughts about you, right? This is that dance of image and public relations. It really comes down to the energy exchange between you and the public. 

Jamay: Right, exactly. Because we are representatives, I believe in my work. I think when you affiliate yourself, that goes back to associations. When you are associated with a certain district, you’re also associated with their strategic plan, even though you are growing this complimentary leadership image for your own professional life. I think it helps your professional life. Angela would agree, but it should be parallel. 

Because if it’s in contrast, that’s where problems start. That’s where you might lose your contract or you don’t create advancement in your district or in the profession because you’re out of alignment. That was the news story I read in the paper this morning about educators who have an image that’s not an alignment of their organization. It’s a relationship. So we want that relationship to be complimentary. If we’re focused on like a shortage of what the narrative is around the shortage of teachers, that’s what we’re going to create more of. 

Angela: Yes, definitely. I just want to reassure you guys, just as a side note here, there are people who want to work for you. They want to work for your school. The more you see how amazing your school is and you focus on its strengths and you speak to those strengths, you will attract people who want to be at your school, who desire to support, whether they’re support staff or certificated staff, there are people out there who want to work. So keep that in mind. 

I have been coaching principals on getting those positions filled before day one. I have been so impressed at their belief and trust and faith in the process and it’s working. So just, if you’re out there and you’re listening to this and you’re frustrated about hiring, just know like, think about your image. What image are you portraying to the public, to your community about what it’s like to work at this school, what it feels like to work at this school, the benefits of working at this school, right? 

It really comes down to how people feel, how they feel about you, how they feel about the district, the culture of the district. I really think this work is so essential. Jamay, I don’t feel like this is a conversation schools are having, but I do think it is one of the missing puzzle pieces about its image, but below that, it’s about how we feel. Like image is about how one feels about themselves, about how other people feel about us. You said relationship, and I think that’s the word here. It’s the relationship you have with yourself and others and the community at large.

Is there any final thoughts or words of wisdom or insight that you can share with these site and district leaders that are listening to the podcast today? 

Jamay: I believe we covered everything. Angela and I could talk about this forever, but that’s what PR is, right? It is relationships. It’s a public relationship. It’s the relationship, not only like Angela mentioned, first of all, any relationship we have with anything is first of all about the relationship we have with ourselves. 

So first you’re thinking about the relationship with yourself and then thinking about your associations and relationships, what matters outside of you and how these certain things become like circumstances. Like a so-called teacher shortage, that can become a circumstance if you only focus on the right thing, like focusing on the right things and helping kids learn and growing our image and impacting the profession that way is the work that we’re committed to. So I think we’ve covered everything. This is so exciting. 

Angela: I know you and I could probably talk for hours, but if the listeners want to learn more about your work or reach out or contact you, what’s the best way for them to do that? 

Jamay: I’ll keep it easy. I will just go to Instagram. My Instagram handle is JamayFisher, that’s J-A-M-A-Y, Fisher, F-I-S-H-E-R, and that’s where you can find me. I also have there where I have my academic papers written for the research at universities I’ve done. I have public pieces written like an ASCD, for example, in leadership. Just I would love to start a conversation with anyone who’s interested. So that’s where to find me.

Angela: Yeah, and we’ll drop some links in the show notes for people to get direct access to Dr. Jamay and her work. We’ll put her Instagram handle in the show notes as well so that you guys can just click and have immediate access to her and her work.

I really hope that at some point you and I can do a collaboration, whether that’s a webinar, a training, a conversation, or developing some kind of process for people, because I think our work blends so beautifully together. Your expertise plus my expertise, I think it just up-levels the work that our school leaders are doing and supports them at just a deeper level. 

Jamay: Thank you, I cannot wait. 

Angela: We will be talking more in the future. So thank you for your time. Thank you for being on the podcast. It’s such a pleasure to have met you and to now call you a friend and to collaborate with you again in the future. It’s going to be a lifetime of work together. Thank you so much. 

All right, everybody, that’s a wrap. Have a wonderful week. Enjoy this podcast. if this resonates with you or with somebody that you know, if you would please share this podcast link out with your fellow colleagues, we would really appreciate that. Because our goal here is to support as many school leaders as possible and to expand your reach, your legacy, your impact to a limitless number of students and the lives of their families for this moment on.

So please feel free to share this with anybody who might enjoy this conversation. Thank you so much. We’ll talk to you guys next week. Take good care. Bye. 

Hey, empowered principal. If you enjoyed the content in this podcast, I invite you to join the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to experience exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. 

Look, you don’t have to overwork and overexert to be a successful school leader. You’ll be mentored weekly and surrounded by supportive likeminded colleagues who truly understand what it means to be a school leader. So join us today and become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country. Just head on over to angelakellycoaching.com/work-with-me to learn more and join. I’ll see you inside of the Empowered Principal® Collaborative. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Emotional Regulation

Are you feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, or emotionally triggered as a school leader? If so, you’re not alone. The demands of leading a school can take a toll on even the most resilient principals, leaving us feeling drained and discouraged at times.

Whether you’re in the midst of the fall dip, dealing with a challenging situation, or simply feeling the weight of your responsibilities, empowered school leadership is all about the ability to regulate your emotions. That’s why, this week, I share a powerful practice for grounding yourself and guide you through the skill of emotional regulation.

Join me in this short and sweet episode as I show you how to master emotional regulation. You’ll hear why this practice helps you find your center and lead from a place of clarity when you’re feeling triggered, exhausted, or emotionally dysregulated. Discover how developing this skill can transform both your professional and personal life.

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why deep breathing is the first step in regulating your nervous system and emotional energy.
  • Questions you can ask yourself when you feel emotionally dysregulated.
  • The different types of fatigue school leaders experience and how to respond to each one.
  • Why emotional regulation is the most empowering practice a school leader can invest in.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 354. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well, hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Today’s podcast is going to be slightly different than my other podcasts. I’m not going to teach you a concept or explain a situation or try to inspire you into something innovative.

Today, I want to offer a practice for grounding yourself. You can use this practice at any time of the year. And I know that the beginning of the year is very stressful, and then you hit October, the fall dip happens, and then there is another cycle that you’re in. You’re in a fatigue cycle. You’re worn out.

So while this podcast may be dropping here in the fall season of your school year, you can utilize this practice at any time you feel emotionally dysregulated, if you feel any kind of fatigue, or if something has triggered you. So I’m going to give you the practice in terms of the fall dip, the fatigue, because that is what is relevant right now. But as I speak, I want you to consider how these questions might apply to when you are triggered by something or someone, or when you’re feeling emotionally dysregulated.

Because at the end of the day, empowered leadership, empowered school leadership, is all about the ability to regulate your emotions. Because our emotions are the fuel that drive, that ignite the decisions we make and the actions we take. So we want to be in control of the fuel driving our decisions and actions. And I know that in schools we do not spend a lot of time talking about emotions, expressing emotion, and certainly we do not talk about how to regulate our emotions because as adults we feel embarrassed that we do not know how.

But we should not feel embarrassed because we have never been taught the skill. And if there is any legacy that I would like to leave on this planet, I want to be known for bringing emotional regulation to the mainstream practice of our educators so that we can educate students. It is the gift of a lifetime to any human on the planet, is to be able to regulate emotion.

So in this fall season, you’re either going to be feeling completely overwhelmed, completely fatigued, or something has triggered you, it has taken you off course. You feel a little discouraged or defeated or disappointed. The first thing I invite you to do is to just sit down, whether you’re at school, sit in your office, close the door. Nobody is going to die if you close your door. I need 10 minutes, tell your secretary, I need 10 minutes to myself. Close the door, close the blinds, close the shades, whatever privacy you can create for yourself.

I want you to just breathe. Take a deep breath in. Take a slow deep breath out. This is the first step in regulating your nervous system and your emotional energy. I like to put one hand on my chest, my heart, and another hand on my belly. And I put my feet flat on the ground and I just take three deep slow breaths. I already feel different and from there I can ask myself how am I feeling right now?

See if you can label the emotion in your body, the energetic energy in there, the little zippity-zappities that you feel inside. Another question you can ask is, what is coming up for me today? You might find it easier to brain drain all of the thoughts zipping through your mind than to actually label the emotion. You might say, I do not know how I’m feeling right now. I’m a little this and a little that, and it comes out in the form of thought versus emotion.

You might say, I’m really upset because da da da da da da. Those are thoughts, not emotions. The upset is emotion and the thoughts are why. So you can ask yourself, what am I actually feeling right now? Why am I feeling this way? Or what is coming up for me? And just let the mix of thoughts and emotions pour up.

Another question you can ask is, what do I need right now? What is coming up for me and what do I need? What do I need physically right now? What do I need emotionally right now? Another question you can ask yourself when you’re feeling exhausted. If you’re feeling fatigue, I want you to ask yourself what kind of fatigue am I feeling right now?

Am I physically tired? Like could I just crawl into bed or take a nap? Do I feel that tired? The answer might be yes.

You might have been burning the candle at both ends and what your body honestly needs is a good sleep. And if that is the case and you’re at work, you have two options. You can go home and get some sleep or you can take a walk, energize yourself to get through your day, get a cup of coffee or soda or something that perks you up, drink some water, get a snack, regulate yourself physically until you can go home.

If you’re not able to literally say I’m not well I need to take a half day and you go home and sleep. I want you to consider that your physical fatigue matters and if you do not listen in to it, it will start to manifest in other ways. Physical illness, physical energy loss, mental cloudiness. There are so many ways that physical fatigue can impact you.

But as school leaders, there are other kinds of fatigue. There is mental fatigue. You’re just tired of making decisions all day long, tired of solving problems, tired of thinking of solutions, tired of figuring out hacks and tricks to get the systems working properly. You might be emotionally fatigued. Drained from situations with students, behavior issues, teacher issues, teachers complaining, teacher conflict, parent conflict, the school board coming down at you, the district coming at you sideways, the district changing priorities.

You might be mentally, physically, and emotionally fatigued. You want to ask yourself, what is coming up for me? And then my favorite question of all is to ask, What do I need right now? What do I actually need right now? Do I need food? Do I need water?

Do I need to take a walk? Do I need to go be in a classroom with kids? Do I need to take a moment for myself?

Do I need to send that email? Do I need to schedule that phone conversation or that teacher observation? What is nagging at me? What would bring me back to center? What would help me feel grounded right now? What is the one thing that would just feel so good if it were not on my heart, my mind, my soul? Is it something at home that you need to take care of? Is it something personal?

You have not been to the dentist or the doctor or a hair appointment? Is it you have not been spending time with your partner or spouse? Is it that you have not been spending time with your own children because you’ve been so busy with your kids at school? Is there a new teacher that you forgot to check in with? Is there something weighing on you that if you just went and did it right now in this moment, you would feel so much better?

The most important skill that you can learn as a school leader is the practice of emotional regulation. And you do that by tuning in with your body. And you can say some things to yourself. When you are triggered, you can calm your nervous system down. When your nervous system is triggered, typically what is happening is that you feel unsafe. There is something that is telling you ding ding ding, alert, alarm, there is danger ahead, I do not feel safe.

You might not feel physically safe, you might not feel emotionally safe, or you might not feel mentally safe. Somebody may have said something that has got into your brain and you cannot get it out and you’re spinning on it. Or maybe somebody has triggered you emotionally. Or maybe you do feel physically afraid of a parent. I’ve had this happen.

Or you can put your hands on your legs and ground your feet and just say right now in this moment I am safe. It is safe for me to be here. It is safe for me to lead this school. It is safe to be a school leader. I am safe. And then list how you are safe.

I’m in this space. I’m all alone. There is nobody here. I will be okay. I’m safe in this moment.

The practice of self-regulation is one of the most empowering practices a school leader can invest time and energy into. If you want to learn more about how to regulate your emotions and become a master at emotional regulation, I invite you into EPC. Doors will be opening in November. We teach this skill. We do it as a practice every day, every week. You will be a different leader, a more empowered leader when you master the skill of self-emotional regulation.

Have a beautiful week. Take care of yourselves. I care about you. I love you deeply. Thank you for the work you’re doing. Have an amazing week.

I’ll talk to you guys next week. Take good care. Bye. 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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The Empowered Principal® Podcast Angela Kelly | Leader, Teacher, Student

Do you ever feel like you’re slipping out of empowerment as a school leader? October often marks a phenomenon called the fall dip that many principals get caught in, where energy wanes and attitudes shift. And as a leader, it’s your job to manage your thoughts and emotions and hold space for others during this challenging period. 

In this episode, I explore the three different hats you wear as a leader: the leader, the teacher, and the student. By understanding and embracing these roles, you can expand your capacity to handle everything that comes your way and inspire others to develop their own empowerment.

Join me this week to learn why we slip out of empowerment when we’re mentally, physically, or emotionally exhausted, and the importance of leveraging emotions as a tool for growth. You’ll hear how to embrace the three different identities of leader, teacher, and student that you embody, and the importance of being a lifelong learner. 

 

Attention Empowered Principals! Feeling burned out already? Join me for Flip the Fall Dip, a three-part series starting today at noon. I’ll show you how to turn your autumn around and beat the fatigue. It’s free for Empowered Principal Collaborative members, or just $111 for all three sessions if you’re not a member. Click here to register and let’s recharge together!

 

The doors to The Empowered Principal® Collaborative are open from October 1st to November 1st 2024! It’s my latest offer for aspiring and current school leaders who want to create exceptional impact and enjoy the school leadership experience. Join us today to become a member of the only certified life and leadership coaching program for school leaders in the country by clicking here.

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why the fall dip happens.
  • The importance of managing your thoughts and emotions when you’re exhausted.
  • How to embrace your roles as a leader, teacher, and student.
  • The power of being a lifelong learner.
  • How to leverage emotions as a tool for growth and empowerment, rather than avoiding them.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

 Hey there, empowered principals, listen up. I have a very special, very time sensitive offer. I will be hosting a three part series called Flip the Fall Dip. Look, we’re all tired. We’re all exhausted. It’s only the beginning of October. We feel burned out and there’s so far to go. I know the feeling. The honeymoon is over and we’re fatigued.

I’m going to show you how you can turn this around and change the trajectory of the fall experience this season. I don’t want you guys feeling depleted, feeling discouraged, feeling like you’re never going to make it. That’s not the case. We’ve got your back.  Please sign up. It starts today. It’s at noon.

Flip the Fall Dip.  It is free for members who are in the Empowered Principal Collaborative and it’s  given to you at the magical price if you’re not a member of EPC for $111 for all three sessions. So join us today. I’ll see you there. I can’t wait to support you. Have an amazing day and we’ll see you at Flip the Fall Dip.

Hello empowered principals. Welcome to episode 353. 

Welcome to The Empowered Principal® Podcast, a not so typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy by refining your most powerful tool, your mind. Here’s your host certified life coach Angela Kelly Robeck. 

Well hello, my empowered principals. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the podcast. So happy to be here with you today.

And I want to welcome you to October. October during the school year is exhausting. I am not going to sugarcoat it. It is the month where we enter into the fall dip. We have been riding on tons of adrenaline from July through August into September and we hit October and we are exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally.

I work with clients all across the country, I see the dip happen every year, I am calling it out now because it is the beginning of October, and if you start to experience the fall dip, or perhaps it has already started for you, for your staff, your students, your families, when you start to see energy waning, you see attitudes shifting, you see people’s moods adjusting, you see the fatigue people are dragging, they may start to vent or complain a little bit, you might not feel the excitement and enthusiasm and energy that you did in the beginning of the year.

You are not going to perhaps feel that people are as committed or that they are not tuned into their problem-solving potential. We slip out of empowerment when we are tired. At least I know I do. I have seen it in my clients. I have seen it in staff and students. When we are exhausted, whether it is mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion, we slip out of our empowerment. We slip out of belief that we are strong, we are capable, we are happy, we are problem solvers, we are successful, we know what we are doing.

Either we slip into some frustration and doubt and uncertainty, we feel overwhelmed, or we might slip into the feelings of disempowerment where the job is happening to me and this teacher said that, and my colleague did this, and this parent sent this email, and the kids are like this, and the district office is doing this, and all of it is happening to me, and we step into disempowerment where we feel out of control, we feel like things are happening to us instead of happening with us or for us, and that also can happen when we are tired.

So we are in the beginnings of, or maybe you are already in it, the fall dip. So if you are on Facebook and you are not in EPC, I have a public Facebook group, non EPC Facebook group called the Empowered Principle. You can be in that group. I am in there. I am posting, I put Facebook lives up and videos just to keep you going, keep the momentum going. We are having the fall of fun over there. So we want to keep energy high, keep your spirits high.

But really this is the time of the year you have to manage your brain, manage your emotions, and manage your fatigue because you need that capacity to be able to hold space for all of the other adults on campus who might not have the emotional regulation or the emotional maturity or the emotional bandwidth tools that you have here on this podcast, okay? So you need to really dive into this work, emotional regulation, physical regulation, mental regulation, managing your thoughts, managing your emotions, being able to process them so that you can hold space for other people who are learning these skills. Okay?

Now, with that said, if you are struggling in any way, shape, or form, the good news is that the doors for EPC, The Fall Dip session, are opening. So the doors are open for a very brief time. If you want to slip into EPC between October 1st and November 1st, jump on in. We have got your back. Okay?

Today I would like to talk about three different hats that you wear, three different identities that you embody as a leader. The first one you know about, it is the most obvious one, because it is leadership. You are a leader, right? As a school leader, you are a decision maker. You guide others, you inspire others, you have influence to create impact. You are building a legacy. Whether you understand that or not, whether you are consciously doing it or not, with intention or not, you are building a legacy.

People will remember you for being a school leader. You get to decide what that narrative looks like. You get to decide. You get to create the script. You are the main character of your movie and you are the main character as a school leader and you are writing the script of what it looks like and how it feels and the impact that you have as a leader. So when you think about yourself as a leader and you have your leadership hat on, there are many aspects to that identity, to the leadership aspect of your identity.

So as a leader, you really step into the role of a visionary. You create the vision with your mind, your heart, and your soul. As a teacher, you are not necessarily creating a school-wide vision. You might be creating a classroom vision. But as a leader, you are stepping into the role of visionary. Every time you up-level into a leadership position, a bigger and bigger leadership position, you are expanding your capacity to visualize.

So in a classroom, you are doing it at the classroom level. As a grade-level department chair or a leadership at your grade level or your department site, you are developing vision for your entire department or grade level. You step into a site leadership position, you are developing a vision for the site. You go into a district-level position as a district coordinator or a district director or a district assistant superintendent, now you are expanding your vision to include those departments district-wide. And then you get to the superintendency, and now you are developing a vision for an entire district.

Past that, you can look at any leaders in any organization. As you move up in the leadership positions, you are expanding how much visionary work that is required of you. You create this vision, you map it out, you plan it out, and then you have to execute it. But you are getting paid not to just lead, you are getting paid to be a visionary, to inspire others to develop a vision for themselves and plan it and map it out and execute it for themselves. One that is hopefully in alignment with the entire vision, with your vision as the leader.

You want to communicate that vision with conviction and drive and authenticity, because the authenticity is what connects people to the vision. You have to learn that as a skill, how to communicate with conviction and drive and authenticity. You have to present possibilities for people to inspire them when people feel stuck, or they feel like they are in the grind and they cannot see out of their tunnel vision or where they are stuck in that silo, you present possibilities and you tap into their potential for them.

You show them, you model this, you reflect, not just on things outside of you. A lot of times I caught myself contemplating and reflecting and ruminating over a situation that was externally outside of me. The situation at the IEP meeting, or the staff meeting, or the district level meeting, or what this parent said, or this grade level did, or what this teacher did or did not do in their classroom. Things outside of me, systems outside of me, lunchroom, dismissal. We want to contemplate externally what is happening around us.

But not only that, exceptional leaders, empowered principals, they reflect on what is happening internally. You deepen your awareness at an internal level as a leader. Just like you ask teachers to reflect on their self-efficacy as a teacher, and their identity as a teacher and their teaching practices, their teaching skills and their practices, internal practices. You are asking them to develop themselves. What is working? What is not?

What do you want to learn next? How do you want to develop? How do you want to grow? What is coming up for you?

We need to do this as leaders. And there are not enough people asking us as leaders to contemplate and reflect internally. You want to contemplate your purpose, intention, what matters to you, and why. Your leadership values. As a leader, the value that you provide is much more visionary than it is execution. It is a different kind of planning, a different kind of visionary work, and a different kind of execution.

Your role as a leader is now to inspire people into action, just as a teacher’s job is to inspire her students into action. When you take action, you model that. But the action that you are taking at a leadership level is different than the action you took as a teacher. But here is the fun thing. You do not throw away your teacher hat to put on your leader hat. You keep on your teacher hat

and you add on top of your leader hat. It is like caps for sale, except it is more than 50 cents a cap. I promise.

You are still a teacher out there, leaders. You did not turn in your teacher hat, your teaching ability, your teacher certificate, when you stepped into a leadership role, you are still a teacher. You are a mentor, a guide, a coach, a model. You provide support and access for other people as a teacher. Your grade level as a leader is now your fellow administrators and your office staff at your site. And perhaps you have an admin team at your site as well.

What was your classroom is now your campus. So your new classroom is your campus. Your new class is your staff. Your curriculum that you are learning to teach is leadership and human development. And you study that curriculum to know what to plan and how to deliver with execution, excellence, and precision to your students who are your teachers and your support staff. You hone those teaching skills and techniques and knowledge just like you did in the classroom.

You collaborate and connect with your fellow teachers, your admin, your fellow admin are also fellow teachers. You are prepared and planned just like you were as a teacher, and you are also open to teachable moments in the leadership role and the teacher role. You allow for flow and spontaneity within your systems and structures. So yes, as a teacher, you plan system and structures in your classroom, but you also allowed for some flow and spontaneity.

You were prepared and planned with your lessons, but also there were magical, teachable moments where you went off course, and that was the best thing you could have done. The same thing applies to leadership. Leading is teaching. Teaching is leading. And the bottom line for you, as a teacher leader, is to empower your students, to empower your teachers. You want to inspire and up-level their identity as a student, and they are a student of teaching, and you are a student of leadership, and you are learning how to lead them by teaching them how to teach, and they teach by learning how to be a student, and we all learn how to be better at what we do by being a student.

So in order to inspire your teachers to be the best versions of themselves, your teachers need to be also wearing their student hat. They need to be students and teachers, students of their craft and teachers of their craft. Your job as their teacher is to ignite their empowerment by inspiring their identity to develop themselves. And the way that you do that as a leader is you are also a student. You do not give up your hat as a student when you became a teacher. You are a student and a teacher. And now that you are a leader, you do not throw away your student hat and your teacher hat. You have your student hat and your teacher hat and your leadership hat.

Learning does not end when you graduate or obtain a degree. I find it so fascinating, the human mind, when it becomes an adult. When you graduate from college or get your master’s degree or your PhD, whatever degree that you have or your certification and obtain that degree, you have it, you have achieved it, accomplishment, that is not where the learning ends. That is where the learning begins. As a human, we are wired to learn from the day we are born until the day that we are no longer on the planet.

Yet, because learning is so uncomfortable from the beginning, it is hard to learn to walk when you are an infant. You fall and you fall and you fall and you go boompsy on your bum.

And you have got to get back up, and you scrape your knees, and you trip, and you fall, and you cry. Walk, but they do it anyway. They never stop trying until they do it. Babies get frustrated when they are learning how to put puzzle pieces together and their fine motor skills are not cooperating with their brain. Their brain knows which puzzle piece it wants to pick up and put it into the hole, but it cannot figure it out. And they scream and they kick and they throw things until they figure it out. Same with riding a bike. Same with learning to drive a car.

Everything we do as a human is learning. We are a student of life. We are a student of knowledge and wisdom and skill set and mindset and emotional regulation and communication and relationships. This is why we have the Mastery Series in EPC. There was always something new to learn. And being new at learning something, it is super awkward. It is super clumsy. It is really uncomfortable because of what we make it mean about ourselves and what we think other people are thinking about us, so we might feel a little embarrassed or we get a little frustrated.

That is because learning new things might also be very taxing to our brains and to our bodies. So it is awkward, and it is embarrassing, and it is clumsy, and we get frustrated, but it is also taxing mentally, emotionally, physically, to our bodies, to our brains, to our hearts. So we get confused. We get unsure. We get exhausted. And because of that discomfort in the learning process, now think about it.

We ask kids to do it all day, every day. Be new, try it again, fail, fail, fail in front of all your peers. And then as adults, we are like, well, that really sucked. I am not doing that ever again. I am going to not learn and be vulnerable and be awkward and clumsy and be embarrassed and frustrated in front of all my peers ever again. I am going to cocoon and just hide the fact that I do not know what I am doing. I am going to fake it till I make it.

It is because we are trying to avoid the emotion of embarrassment or the emotion of frustration or disappointment or awkwardness, clumsiness. And you can see this in our human culture. Some people, as soon as the law no longer requires them to attend a learning institution or a learning environment, they shut down. They avoid learning new things as much as possible. Other people decide that they have had enough learning once they graduate college or obtain that degree. Like, I will do just enough to get that degree or just enough to say I graduated college.

Other people, they are more comfortable and they will go all the way through the formal education system. And once they hit the max of that, they feel like, well, I have done it all. I have gone to my PhD or I do not even know the highest. I think it is PhD. But formal education has a beginning and an end. It is finite in the formal education world.

And then there are others who choose to be a student of life, who let life be the curriculum. They become a student of themselves, a student of humankind, of human beings, of human education. And as educators, we are in the business of humans. We literally develop humans, big and small, older or younger, all of them, every single day. There is always something to learn about being human. That is why people study it generation upon generation upon generation upon generation.

There is so much depth and complexity to the human experience, the entire learning experience, just to study learning as a human. That is a lifetime achievement award. We never run out of curriculum. Ever.

And in the Empowered Principal Collaborative, an EPC, we study the human experience to deepen your knowledge, your wisdom, your skill set, your strategies, your openness, your intentions, your mind, what it means to be a leader, a teacher, a student, from all perspectives. From the leader perspective, the teacher perspective, the student perspective, how it feels to be a leader, a teacher, a student, all the feels from the entire spectrum of emotions. In EPC, there is no emotion we are afraid to feel. We do not avoid emotion. We do not run from them. We do not hide from them. We lean into them.

So embarrassment has got nothing on me. Do you know how embarrassed I felt putting this podcast out into the world when I first started? I was horrified that my friends or my previous colleagues or my previous bosses would hear this and laugh and say you are the biggest joke on the planet. You were not a great leader. You were this, you were that, whatever their opinions were of me. I feared that.

I was horrified and my coach said that is the perfect reason to start the podcast. Because if you feel this way, there are thousands of other school administrators who feel just like you. The only difference between people who succeed and people who do not is that they feel that feeling, they lean into it, and they do it anyway. That is the only difference.

Successful people, successful students, successful teachers, successful leaders, they do not avoid emotion. They are not void of emotion. They are not void of fear, void of embarrassment, void of clumsiness, void of frustration, void of disappointment, void of failures. The opposite. They are full of it. They are full of vulnerability and failure and disappointment and frustration and so much embarrassment.

The fear. Think of the emotions that lock you down into fight-or-flight. Everyone feels those. You have the capacity to feel them. If you did not have the capacity to handle them, you would not have been gifted with them. Emotions are a gift. It is an internal compass that guides us.

So in EPC we study emotion. We lean into it and we leverage it as a tool, as a strategy to become stronger mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, as a leader in our relationships, in our communication, in our identity, in our confidence. The decisions and actions of a leader, a teacher, and a student, we study them through all the lenses. Every lens, every angle that we can imagine, we look at how and why we make decisions and how we decide our approach and the actions we take in that approach and then we look at them. Did they work? Did they not?

Let us test a theory. Let us see if it works. Oh, did not work. Let us adjust. That is it. It is as simple as that.

We come up with a theory and a plan. We execute it. We evaluate it. What worked? What did not? What do we want to adjust and do differently?

Let us go. Oh, there were some emotions that came along with that. I have got your back. We support you. We love you. We care about you. We care about your experience as a leader and as a teacher and as a student.

We look at what motivates and drives us as leaders, as teachers, as students. We need to study all of the angles. What motivates students? What motivates teachers? What motivates us as leaders? What motivates us as a student?

Us as a teacher? From all different backgrounds, from diverse backgrounds, diverse experiences. We want to study the human experience.

EPC is a new learning experience. It is a new offer. It is a new type of learning opportunity. It is based on introspection. And what I love about it is that it is the fascination of the human experience. I am fascinated by humans.

I am fascinated by how we learn, how we think, how we engage, how we interact, why we do things, why we do not do things, why we do things we say we do not want to do and we still do them and why we do not do things we say we want to do but we still do not do them. Why is that? Study it. Be a student of it. And then you can be a teacher of it. And then you can be a leader of it.

EPC is designed to help you design and create your vision for yourself, for your career, and for those you lead. I want to help you learn how to lead and how to teach and how to be a true lifelong student. Not because you want things to be hard, but because you want to master them. You want to expand your capacity to handle everything that comes your way. To practice skills and strategies. To embody empowerment, curiosity, and delight. To love your life, love your job, love your students, your staff, your families, your community, your district leaders.

Can you imagine going to work and loving your district leaders instead of talking about them? I know some of you have great relationships, but on the regular, I get some feedback that says otherwise for some people. But I truly want you to learn this skill because it is delightful. I want you to be happy, to have so much joy in your life, to have energy, to have hope, to have charisma and focus, determination, empowerment. I want you to celebrate failures just as much as you celebrate your wins.

Let us hold space for one another when we hurt. Principals, district leaders, we need a space to be supported, to feel held, to feel understood when we hurt, when we ache, when we fail, when we lose, when we fall down, when we get publicly scrutinized, or publicly embarrassed, or publicly humiliated. We need a space. EPC the space. We listen, not to respond to you, but to understand you. As leaders, we want to listen to understand, not to respond or react, but to understand.

So, the doors for EPC, the Fall Dip’s session, they are open starting today throughout the month of October. If you want to sneak in, I am leaving the doors open for this month only. They will not open again until 2025. I hope you are coming. I would love to see you. I would love to support you, but I would love, most of all, to empower you.

Have a beautiful week. Take great care of yourselves, and I will talk to you next week. Bye! 

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal® Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.

 

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