Ep #107: Starting 2020 with Renewed Belief

Hello, Empowered Principals, welcome to episode 107.

Welcome to The Empowered Principal Podcast, a not-so-typical educational resource that will teach you how to gain control of your career and get emotionally fit to lead your school and your life with joy, by refining your most powerful tool: your mind. Here’s your host, Certified Life Coach, Angela Kelly Robeck.

Hello my empowered leaders, happy, happy new year, and welcome to back to the second half of your school year, and welcome back from your break. I hope you did exactly what you wanted to do over the break, and that your experience of your break was led from a place of listening to your body with lots of self-care, rejuvenation, and allowing yourself to feel and be really present with you and your loved ones.

For most of you, you’ve probably been back to work for about a week now, so take a moment to check in with yourself, and see how you’re feeling. If you did go ahead and set goals for the year, are you visiting them daily, and aligning your thoughts and actions with those goals? And I bring this up, only to gently remind you, and to remind your brain, not to get lost in the weeds at work. It’s so easy to slip back into those old ways of thinking and reacting to our job.

You know, our brain is really like a young child, we have to keep guiding and redirecting it to the thoughts and the results that we want to be creating for ourselves. And there’s no need to scold your brain, it’s just like a young child, we just want to create an awareness, an acknowledgement, and a redirection, because it doesn’t know how to do that on its own. So our level of awareness of our thoughts, and our feelings, and our actions, we need to bring our brain’s awareness of its own thinking back into the forefront, back into our awareness, and just acknowledge it and redirect it when it requires us to do so.

And for my current clients, I want to mention that the theme of study for this month, in the month of January, is on relationships. So for those of you who have not worked with me directly, I created monthly themes over the course of 2019, and I did this because I wanted you to take areas of your work and your life, and focus more deeply on them. So there are 12 themes that I created throughout the year of 2019, and the first topic, the topic we started with, in January of last year was on relationships.

So this theme of relationship covers how to build a relationship with yourself, how to build it with others, what happens when you have conflict in relationships, how to gracefully end relationships, and the final, the idea of unconditional compassion for yourself and for others. And along with this theme, I decided that in 2020 what I’m going to do, is continue to use the same themes I built in 2019, and just add to those areas of content. I created these workbooks that correspond to the appropriate podcast episodes, that discuss the aspects of, in this month, it’s the relationship theme. And in 2020 what I plan to do, is create podcasts that will supplement those themes in different ways, but they won’t necessarily be in direct order as I did them last year.

So what I tried to focus on last year, was chronologically putting the podcasts in order, and then building that theme and that workbook around those four episodes, or five episodes. So this year I want the ability to discuss and study topics, and teach them as they come up in my life, as they become relevant to my life, and in the lives of my clients. So this month we’re going to be taking time to talk about renewing our beliefs. Beliefs that we used to believe, beliefs that we want to believe, and renewing our faith in them and our trust in them.

And really, this month we’re going to talk about the belief that we are capable of doing hard things. And we’re going to discuss some specific things that we struggle with as school leaders, such as holding each other accountable, holding ourselves accountable, how to be decisive, why we don’t like to be decisive, our fears around decisiveness, our fears of being wrong, all of that, and how we can approach these struggles that we face in school leadership.

But today, to kind of kick this off in 2020, I want to start with the concept of renewed belief. The best part of a brand-new year, is the anticipation of all that is possible in our future. When we think about the magic of new year’s, and New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, and planning for the new year, the reason that we love it so much, is because we once again believe we are capable of accomplishment and change. We allow ourselves to dream, and imagine the impact that we can make in our own lives, and in the lives of others. We start to feel hope, and enthusiasm, and possibility for the upcoming year.

And I love that this happens, because it shows us that the only difference between December 31st and March 31st, or August 31st, or whatever other day, the difference between the time of the new year, and somewhere else along the path in the middle of the year, the end of the year, is how we’re thinking about ourselves and our ability to accomplish goals.

On December 30th and 31st, and January 1st, we’re having the thought that, “Wow, this is a fresh start, I have the whole year ahead of me, I can accomplish XYZ, I’m going to recommit, I’m going to refocus. This year I’m going to do it, I’m going to be really serious,” right? We get into this energy of, it’s possible, we’ve got a fresh chance, a fresh start. We don’t have to hold the failures from 2019, and carry them over the 2020 line. We kind of drop them, we say goodbye whatever it is that we did last year, we celebrate those accomplishments and we thank our failures for our learning that we have, and then we move forward.

So this time of year is such a great energy for learning, planning, moving forward, and believing in possibility, and renewing our belief that we are capable. And when we recommit to goals that perhaps we failed before, we now have reconsidered them, and at this point in the year we’re thinking, we are capable. We have stepped into the belief that we are capable of having what we want. We believe it’s possible to have it again, isn’t that interesting? It’s so fascinating.

And when we think about attaining whatever it is that we want, whether it’s a physical item, like we want a new outfit, or new shoes, or a new car, a certain purse or something. Or, it’s a skill set, like we want to learn how to ski, or we want to learn to play the piano, or we want to learn something scary, like for me I’m considering my motorcycle license. Not because I’m going to go out and race around on the roads, but because it’s something that scares me, and I like the idea of overcoming my fear. So I’m thinking about that skill. But it can also be a lifestyle change, like losing weight, or working less, or finding the person of your dreams to live with and marry.

Or we might want to step into the belief that we have accomplished these goals, and we want to believe that they’re possible, and when we do that, when we really do that and we step into that belief, we get to experience the feeling that comes with that belief and with that thought. And this is really important, we want to tap into that energy, because it is from this energy and space, where we come up with solutions and answers to problems we have not yet been able to solve. It’s the emotional vibration that allows us to generate more gratitude, and more abundance in our lives as school leaders. And when we are in this zone of renewed belief, we focus on all the things we are doing and can do, versus all the things that we can’t.

Elizabeth Salazar, is a friend and a coach, who helps other coaches build their businesses through their mindset, and she works with their mindset, completely on mindset, not on strategy, but on mindset regarding their businesses. And she recently recorded a podcast titled, “What are you forgetting to think?” And I absolutely love her podcast, and I really adore her. She’s an amazing coach. And in this particular episode, she reminds us to ask ourselves this question, What are you forgetting to think? And this question is so brilliant, because it triggers us to remember things that we used to believe in, but have forgotten, or those thoughts and beliefs have kind of slid to the back burner of our thoughts, and they’re in the subconscious.

She uses the example of new coaches who continue to think that they don’t have enough clients, or that what they are doing to market and attract clients isn’t working. And she reminds us that it has nothing to do with the number of clients. You can have the belief that one client isn’t enough, or that 10 clients aren’t enough, or that 20 clients aren’t enough. The problem isn’t the number of clients that you serve, the problem lies in your belief that you don’t have enough.

And when you believe you don’t have enough, and this translates to school leadership as, when you believe you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough money, you don’t have enough resources, you don’t have enough teachers, et cetera, when you don’t believe that you don’t have enough of whatever, that belief will come with you regardless of how much you actually have.

So you can have five lunch supervisors in your cafeteria, and you can feel like it’s not enough coverage. And someone else, with the same number of students in the lunch room, can have three lunch supervisors and believe that she has plenty of coverage. It’s not the number, it’s what we believe about the number. And the same holds true when we lose faith in ourselves as leaders. When you lose faith in yourself, you simply forgot to believe that you are capable as a school leader. And how do we know that you’re capable as a school leader, because you’re leading a school. That is your reality, isn’t that funny? You’re leading a school of course you’re capable. If you weren’t capable, you wouldn’t be leading a school, okay? This is your reality.

And our brains for some crazy reason, they don’t focus on the data that’s all around us, our brains come up with its own analytics about our career and our life, and it uses that data that it’s made up in our head, that’s all make-believe, to create thoughts that disconnect us from believing and reminding ourselves about the truth of our life and our career.

Our brains don’t naturally focus on the facts of our life, which is why I love the process of ending one calendar year and beginning another. When we review all that we’ve accomplished in the prior year, and all that we want to accomplish in the upcoming year, our energy and focus shifts to that possibility. We renew our belief that we are capable of doing things that we haven’t yet done, or that we have done in our past but somehow lost the belief in ourselves that we can do them again, or we can transfer the way we did something else to something new. That we can do hard things.

We use the new year as a reset button for our beliefs, and then we believe in our work again. We believe in ourselves again, we believe in others again. And yes, we are going to get back in the grind of things, and we’re going to forget that we’re capable. We’re going to forget that we have what it takes to evolve ourselves and our leadership skills, and we’re going to forget that other humans that we interact with, are just doing the best job they can, and that inside each and every one of them is love.

Our work as a leader, is to continually remind ourselves of the truth of what is. The truth that we can achieve anything we decide to achieve. We can change school culture, we can improve student outcomes, we can get along with difficult people, we can work less and be effective as a principal. And we can take care of ourselves without taking away from those we serve. We can always adjust our thoughts about anything, and that’s what renewing your belief system is all about.

So how do you do this? Number one, you have to tap into that energy that comes with the fresh start and the new year. And by the way, it doesn’t have to be December 31st, or January 1st to create that energy. Just because it’s, what is this, January 14th that this episode is coming out, you get to feel brand new and fresh every single day. That’s the beauty of waking up each morning, and having a brand-new day. It’s a fresh start every single day. You can feel that collective energy that comes with the new year, and then you can pull that vibe into your life, and into the lives around you every single day. So tap into that energy, and create that for yourself on a daily basis.

And then when you are in this heightened state, and emotional state of possibility, that is when you ask yourself, “What do you want to believe in?” What do you want to believe is true about yourself, your job, your staff, your students, your family, your life, whatever? What would be so super deliciously fun if it were absolutely true? I love playing this exercise with myself, it makes me giddy.

So think about this, do you want to believe that you can work less and get the same done, or even more done? How fun would that be? Do you want to believe that your teachers are amazing and that the school culture is loving, trustworthy and fun? Do you want to believe that you have plenty of time and plenty of money? Do you want to believe that you can hire me as your coach?

What if that were true? What if you were just like, “That’s right, I’m getting a coach, I’m accomplishing every single goal on my list,” how fun would that be? How fun would it be if all of these things that you want were really true? Just go to that space. You’re not writing a to-do list, you’re not trying to solve problems you don’t know how to solve, you’re not doing anything in terms of action, you’re simply sitting down and getting your brain aligned with your heart, and it’s desires and what it wants, and the vibration that comes with just the possibility that they could happen.

And for everything you want to renew your belief in, ask yourself this, “What would it feel like if it were actually true?” What would it be like in your life? How would it show up in your life if it were actually true? What if what you wanted was really possible?

So many times, we set goals, and we look at them and we’re like, “But they’re not really possible,” and we kind of stop ourselves ahead of time. But what if they actually were possible? Get into that space. How would you feel if getting what you want was attainable? What would you be experiencing and doing, and what would you be thinking? And capture as many of those thoughts as possible and list them down. See how those renewed beliefs make you feel, and then notice how you’d be acting differently as a result from those beliefs.

So if it were actually true that you could have an amazing school culture, even though the reality of your culture may need some work, the belief that it’s possible to have an amazing culture, getting into that feeling in your body, notice how you’d show up. If your culture was amazing at school right now, how would you show up every day? How would you feel? What would you be thinking about your team? What would you be thinking about going into work every day? Notice. Notice how you’d actually be acting differently.

And finally, take those actions now from this place of renewed belief. Take the actions you believe you would be taking in your future, and start doing them right now. Because the only difference is that, you are acting out of disbelief versus belief.

The only reason why you wouldn’t take those actions right now, is because you haven’t fully renewed your belief in whatever it is that you want. The set of actions that you think you’re going to be doing when you have the desire goal, when you take them now before you have it, that is actually how you create the accomplishment. And I know it sounds backwards, but it is the truth of how goals and achievement work. The belief always comes before the result.

So when you feel your belief slipping, and this will happen, you’re going to feel some negative emotion take over, that negative emotion is just a signal to you that you have slipped a little bit away from your belief systems, and what you want to believe. You just have to look for where your belief has wavered, and gently pull your focus back to that renewed belief. Tell yourself this, “Oh, I totally forgot that my teachers are amazing, and that our school culture is improving. I let a bad day distract my thinking, and all of a sudden, I got back into this mindset that my school culture is not what it should be. Now I remember. I remember that they’re all doing the best that they can, and that I’m going to continue as their leader to support them in their teaching journey and we’re going to build and continue to keep this school culture really supportive, loving and amazing.”

I recently did this whole exercise with money. I was reviewing the year and I was tracking my business expenses, and I felt this wave of panic come over me when I was looking at my investments versus my income. And then I reminded myself, “Oh, Angela, you forgot that your mindset is your most important asset, and that investing in yourself is how you grow your income.” Silly me, that’s right, I forgot to believe that I have plenty of money, and I spend exactly what I need to spend on myself and on my business. And how do I know that, because that is reality of what I spent. No problems, no mistakes.

Byron Katie says that we lose when we argue with reality, but only 100% of the time. Allow yourself to accept the reality of what is, and tell yourself, “I believe that this was meant to happen, because guess what it happened. And I believe that it’s possible to achieve anything I want, because I’ve seen other people do it.” So I invite you to not spend your energy arguing with your reality of your current situation at work, instead consider spending your energy on renewing your belief that whatever it is that you want, is possible and that is just as true as the thought that it isn’t possible. There is no difference between believing that something is possible, versus choosing to believe that it’s not possible. The only difference is in how you feel.

When you believe something’s possible, you feel much more motivated, enthusiastic, lively. The only difference between believing something is possible versus believing something is not possible, is the way that you feel. They’re both thoughts. It’s equal to believe that something is possible versus something’s not possible. So why not believe that it’s possible? It’s so much more fun. And from that place of fun, you show up differently, and you take actions that move you closer to the reality of accomplishing it. It is so much more fun to choose possibility over impossibility.

So take this week to renew your belief systems. Tap into what it is you really want to believe, and then get into that energetic space of what would it feel like if it were possible. Just do that, that is how you accomplish goals every single time. Get into that space, you believe it ahead of time that it’s possible, you’ll find new ways to accomplish the goal based on being in the state of, “I know this is possible. I’m going to keep searching because I know it’s possible. I’m going to keep doing this, it’s possible.” You have to keep reminding your brain that it’s possible, it’s possible, it’s possible.

Have an amazing week, and please renew your belief systems on what you are capable of, and all that is possible for you. Talk to you next week, take care. Bye-bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Empowered Principal Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, please visit www.angelakellycoaching.com where you can sign up for weekly updates and learn more about the tools that will help you become an emotionally fit school leader.